In these dark days there is joy to be found. Joy…and Tes-love. We share our joy in the form of pitches for Hallmark Original romcoms centered around emergent Tesla features and advice to President Biden on how to defuse the Ukraine crisis. We also ask, are Juggalos a model for an inclusive, socially responsible society? Don’t deny the magnetism of the full-figured, polymath mouse Gadget Hackwrench. Listen to the Planet of the Meerkats.