Let’s get right to today’s podcast. Do you ever have people in your life that bring you down?

Is there a person right now that you can think of that has something critical to say every time there’s a topic?

Do they really get to you and make you feel yucky?

Well then you should cut them out of your life, right?!

I hear people talk about cutting toxic people out of their lives and I cringe a little every time I see or hear that because I think that most people mean this and execute this in a way of running away from the problem. I’ve seen it a lot on social media when someone announces that they’re going to go on a cleaning rampage where they clean out all their friends that are toxic.

They declare that they just don’t have room for toxic people anymore.

The reason this makes me cringe is actually a few reasons.

First, I don’t think you have to “cut” toxic people out of your life.

Second, I don’t think there’s a need to announce to everyone when you’re making a change in you and are deciding to set boundaries. Rarely do you even have to notify the labeled offender.

And third, If you really are cleaning up your intimate circle of friends, social media definitely isn’t the place to do any of that management.

Let me explain these reasons one at a time. Why do I think it’s unnecessary to CUT people out of your life? I’m not saying you wouldn’t want to cut ties with some people in your life. You may want to do that. I just don’t think it’s anything like it’s being touted on social media. I see people recklessly and angrily cutting people out. This is done in a way as to make the other person pay for not being good to them. It’s done in a way as to say I’m better than you and you don’t fit.

I just don’t agree with those reasons. You can choose to not have someone in your life, choose not to communicate with a person or some people, or choose to put strict boundaries up for yourself but it all needs to be in a spirit of bettering yourself. This is what people are trying to attempt but they’re misguided in thinking that the people they are cutting out are making them act or feel a certain way so they need to cut them out. That’s not true.

You may not be at your best around someone and that can happen very regularly but I can tell you that it’s not them who is making you feel bad. They may know your triggers and regularly use them.

But it’s not all them.

It’s your thinking about what they’re saying or doing. I’m not saying you don’t want to reduce or eliminate time with that person or those people. You may want to but realizing that you are the creator of your thoughts and therefore your feelings is essential. I may decide that I don’t behave very well around a certain person and spend less time around them because I don’t want to spend the time and energy to manage my mind around them. However, it’s important to know that that’s what it is. Mind management. They can be the way they are and you can control the way you think, feel and behave. So instead of cutting people out…how about we peacefully walk away or move forward?

Second. Why I don’t think you have to announce that you are “cutting” toxic people out of your life. Because when you make a true change in your thinking or heart then you no longer feel the need to announce the changes. You just become. There will be people who fit into your life, likes and schedule and there will be some that don’t. This does not mean they are less than and announcing anything about you leveling up in your life would indicate that you are raising yourself above others and therefore putting them below you because they don’t fit.

There’s No need.....Cont'd