This week, Jimmy Fee, Matt Haeffner, and Nick Cancelliere from "On The Water" mark their calendars for the tarred line perch fishing seminar, we let sexy ladies fill our mouths with fiberglass while jigging snake mackerel, lose the striper of a lifetime during a Swiss cheese incident, and donate a kidney to a woman with tired feet who doesn't care at all about fishing.

This week, veteran fish taxidermist Jimmy Lawrence uses plumber's foam to silence morbid K9 requests, we catch massive bluegills where people are still proud to be your neighbor, explain why Teddy Ruxpin eyes are a bad choice for your trophy walleye mount, and pack a record snakehead up for deployment to Gloryland.

This week, veteran captain Gene Quigley covers himself in pickled herring before the bilge pumps fail 100 miles offshore, we hunt giant bluefin tuna with yellow 4-weight Fenwick fly rods, say the very wrong thing during a very right mahi-mahi bite, and score swordfish on a party boat filled with South Philly zombies.

This week, Nate P. and veteran guide Tim Moore rescue idiots in short boots from the New Hampshire slush of doom, we use LiveScope to check the consistency of a nice burbot chowder, jig massive white perch with gear we didn't need to bring, and get into a scissor fight over the most evil and disturbing live bait known to man.

This week, Miles Nolte jumps in a helicopter and flies right to the Cricket Wireless store, we find 8-pound trout on dries but can't locate the whiskey we buried, slog through nipple deep costume jewelry dilemmas, and sing nu-metal songs instead of the reciting the Hail Marys a priest told us we really need to say.

This week, big bait maestro Oliver Ngy drops in to exchange vows about not buying unproven lures off Facebook, we make sure everyone at the outdoor show knows our opinion of whatever they're touching, destroy a perfectly good lobster dinner by wearing basketball shoes to the boat, and ruin bass fishing by casting seven whole farm raised trout into a tree.

This week, Rio fly designer and veteran guide, Brita Fordice, passes on GTs to perform triggerfish home invasions, we whip up some killer mantis shrimp and feed them to a life-sized Nut Cracker, get chased by creepers as we try to grab an endangered animal, and explain why the bugs you tied are just too special to lose so maybe try her patterns instead.

This week, bass historian, Ken Duke, connects the mob to the worst bass lure ever made, we compare ascots and aloha shirts, slip a sneaky snake into the ICAST show, and learn why nobody on Lake Biwa uses the helicopter lure.

This week, "Book of Quint" author, Ryan Dacko, drops by to give whale and dolphin coloring books to your sister, we go to the end of the pulpit only to find a Hoagie and a "Jaws" shoe horn, write DiCaprio into a cinematic masterpiece featuring at least one toll booth scene, and learn our favorite hero's rot-gut moonshine recipe.

This week, Dan Donovan and Josh "BamBam" Smeltzer of the Musky Fools get all horned up about banging respectable water bears, we have a legal discussion on common law boat ownership and why it's a bad idea, reject any sorry excuse you've ever had for losing a fish, and really want to go home but refuse to be the ones to say that.