The week, Obedie Williams of "Rippn Lipps" tapes a muffin topper to his steering wheel and cooks a stocked trout feast, we make guerrilla fishing DVDs and pass them out around the hot tub, get too drunk to chase younder stripers, and punch mats so hard we have to make them sign a waiver.

This week river rat Paul Cain revs the "Shit Runner 2" for big-water trout redemption not involving anything chartreuse, we fail to impress our parents with our fire breathing skills, discuss the joys of auto anchor deployment when hunting trophy "inlands," travel back to 1982 for wings, and refuse to back down on proving fish like to eat live minnows.

This week, striper legends Billy "The Greek" Legakis and "Crazy" Alberto Knie argue over parking tickets and the patrol schedules of Long Island state troopers, we stick 60-pound bass while dodging drunk drivers and saving our new hats, explain why there's more art in soaking bait than making sushi, and cast eel skin plugs on weed whacker cable during non-human hours.

This week, Jimmy Fee, Matt Haeffner, and Nick Cancelliere from "On The Water" mark their calendars for the tarred line perch fishing seminar, we let sexy ladies fill our mouths with fiberglass while jigging snake mackerel, lose the striper of a lifetime during a Swiss cheese incident, and donate a kidney to a woman with tired feet who doesn't care at all about fishing.

This week, veteran fish taxidermist Jimmy Lawrence uses plumber's foam to silence morbid K9 requests, we catch massive bluegills where people are still proud to be your neighbor, explain why Teddy Ruxpin eyes are a bad choice for your trophy walleye mount, and pack a record snakehead up for deployment to Gloryland.

This week, veteran captain Gene Quigley covers himself in pickled herring before the bilge pumps fail 100 miles offshore, we hunt giant bluefin tuna with yellow 4-weight Fenwick fly rods, say the very wrong thing during a very right mahi-mahi bite, and score swordfish on a party boat filled with South Philly zombies.

This week, Nate P. and veteran guide Tim Moore rescue idiots in short boots from the New Hampshire slush of doom, we use LiveScope to check the consistency of a nice burbot chowder, jig massive white perch with gear we didn't need to bring, and get into a scissor fight over the most evil and disturbing live bait known to man.

This week, Miles Nolte jumps in a helicopter and flies right to the Cricket Wireless store, we find 8-pound trout on dries but can't locate the whiskey we buried, slog through nipple deep costume jewelry dilemmas, and sing nu-metal songs instead of the reciting the Hail Marys a priest told us we really need to say.

This week, big bait maestro Oliver Ngy drops in to exchange vows about not buying unproven lures off Facebook, we make sure everyone at the outdoor show knows our opinion of whatever they're touching, destroy a perfectly good lobster dinner by wearing basketball shoes to the boat, and ruin bass fishing by casting seven whole farm raised trout into a tree.

This week, Rio fly designer and veteran guide, Brita Fordice, passes on GTs to perform triggerfish home invasions, we whip up some killer mantis shrimp and feed them to a life-sized Nut Cracker, get chased by creepers as we try to grab an endangered animal, and explain why the bugs you tied are just too special to lose so maybe try her patterns instead.