Sam Altman thinks the drive to school should be an AI podcast about your own kids. Alex Hirsch replied "what if you just talked to your children" and got roughly twenty times the engagement. We take both sides, and Greg ends up somewhere neither of them expected.

Plus: Greg flies LA to Portland alone with an eleven month old and learns what a 5PM departure does to a baby. Jay hires the one baby proofer in Brooklyn, a French guy who crawls around your house pretending to be a baby to find the hazards. Jay turns 39, starts creatine, moves his alarm to 5:30, and says out loud that he is not going to make the 40 under 40. Greg, who has , is very sorry to hear it.

Write in: [email protected]

(00:00) Sadie peed on the changing table(03:51) Who sent me a butt spatula(08:30) Greg flies to Portland alone with Lou(14:14) Thirty minutes in, it falls apart(24:04) The method actor baby proofer of Brooklyn(29:33) Turning 39, creatine, and the last year of the thirties(36:15) I'm not going to make the 40 under 40(39:08) Four Thousand Weeks(53:44) Dad of the Week: Sam Altman(1:03:51) Stat Corrections

If you're a dad, you're already in the club. Go dads!

Hey papis - this week we have everything. Veteran dad advice, LeBron to Philly, and a fight about the butt spatula.

First up, a real card carrying member of Dad Club emailed us. Kevin from Maryland is flying with a six month old and wants to know how to survive it, so we get into checked bags, the Doona, the three seat hack, night flights, and why you should rent the gear instead of hauling it.

Then Greg is solo parenting this week and realizing there is no tap out. Jay collects three pieces of advice from veteran dads at a dinner party, one of which reveals that he has been applying diaper cream with his bare hands this entire time. Greg has thoughts. Greg has many thoughts.

Also: ESPN ran our USMNT take without any acknowledgment, LeBron signs with the Sixers and immediately becomes Gandalf, we make the case for the fanny pack, and Robyn files two stat corrections that Jay does not accept.

Dad of the Week: Dad Advice From Bo.

Got dad advice, or a question for us? Email [email protected]. You could be next week's Kevin.

Follow @welcometodadclub and @dadsgottadad. If you're a dad, you're already in the club.

Hey Dads - big week this week. First up, a mom wrote in asking how to support your wife postpartum. We realized right away that this was a great question and a huge trap. Then we ranked the worst fathers of all time, starting with Odysseus, because Christopher Nolan just spent three hours reminding us the original action hero ghosted his kid for twenty years.

Also this week: real dad hours, a $25 bet to win a million bucks, why the World Cup was a loss for dads, and a new segment where our wives correct everything we got wrong on last week's show.

If you're a dad, you're already in the club. Email us at [email protected] to get your questions on the show. Go dads.

(00:00) D-A-D-C-L-U-B

(00:40) Q of the Week: A Trap

(25:40) Odysseus: Deadbeat Dad?

(29:30) We Name The Greatest And Worst Dads Of All Time

(41:00) $25 to Win $1M

(54:25) White Tee and Jeans, Groundbreaking

(1:06:15) NEW SEG: Stat Corrections

Hello dads - What should you actually bring to the hospital? We answer the question every new soon to be card carrying member of Dad Club asks, then get into our dads of the week: the guilt of being relieved when the nanny arrives Monday morning, how to do 24 hours in Vegas without the kids, and the real fear of going from one kid to two. Plus, Jay reintroduces the world to French News of the Week and we nominate the events that would feature in the first ever Dad Olympics.

Welcome to the club. The Dad Club.

(00:00) Dad Club!(00:56) Q of the Week: what to pack for the hospital(11:00) Don't invite your parents (right away)(13:16) Who is the first birthday party really for?(20:55) The nanny shows up and it feels like ___(25:38) UFC and Carbone(32:33) We got ratioed by all of Europe(35:21) French News of the Week(37:48) The Second Kid Question(48:26) The Dad Olympics

Got a question for the club? Email [email protected] and we'll read it on the show.

Follow @welcometodadclub on TikTok and YouTube.

Hey dads! This week, two guys who are extremely not qualified to give you a toddler milestone map give you a toddler milestone map. The CDC confirms your kid is a sociopath until age two, we walk through the official Dad Club potty training method (leave him outside, no pants, all summer), and we get honest about the day your alcohol tolerance quietly filed for divorce somewhere around 38.

Also on the docket: the Swift-Kelce wedding at MSG, the martini as a strategic speed bump, who becomes our generation's Bruce Springsteen, and Bill Simmons learning about the Jalen Brown trade while coming out of anesthesia. We close by drafting a full XI of American athletes from other sports and daring them to bring home 2030.

LeBron plays striker. We regret nothing.

Chapters

• (00:00) Cold open: your kid is a sociopath until age two, and that's per the CDC
• (00:40) Q of the Week: Ely wants a milestone map, so we build the official Dad Club toddler guide
• (07:00) The Dad Club potty training method? (no pants, one backyard, one summer)
• (13:08) Taylor and Travis get married at the Mecca
• (15:00) Go-to wedding drinks, why the martini is a speed bump, and weddings as three-day festivals
• (20:30) The hangover tax: how kids quietly turned down your tolerance
• (26:40) Raising kids on your music, and the hunt for our generation's Springsteen
• (33:00) Is summer already over, or is that just the Leo talking
• (37:00) Dads Do Sports: Bill Simmons gets the Jaylen Brown trade mid-colonoscopy
• (45:15) Why not us? Because the USMNT got cooked 4-1 by Belgium.
• (52:00) The Draft: building the All-USA XI from athletes who don't play soccer
• (1:07:15) What song is currently ruining your brain

The XI:

Team Greg (fielded a legal eleven)

• GK: DeAndre Hopkins
• Defense: Sauce Gardner, Myles Garrett, Bam Adebayo, Jalen Ramsey
• Midfield: Draymond Green, Steph Curry, Fred Warner
• Front: Tyreek Hill, Ja'Marr Chase, Derrick Henry

Team Jay (somehow fielded twelve men, we're letting it slide)

• GK: Kevin Durant
• Defense: Pat Surtain II, Aaron Donald, Aaron Judge, Minkah Fitzpatrick
• Midfield: Josh Hart, Lamar Jackson, Ben Shelton, Jalen Brunson
• Front: Jahmyr Gibbs, Saquon Barkley, LeBron James
• Bench: Jordan Clarkson, Trae Young, Frances Tiafoe, Christian McCaffrey, Noah Lyles
• Coach: Steve Kerr

Got a better XI? Drop it in the comments. If you think we're wrong, you're probably right.

Hey dads. This week we get into the deep end early: the actual day our kids showed up.

From there we get into this week's dad-ness: taking a trip without the baby and the guilt-slash-relief that comes with it, the World Cup turning us both into people who suddenly care a lot about soccer, and why Bluey is the only cartoon that respects your intelligence.

We also get into the big stuff nobody warns you about: moving your whole life to the suburbs for a school district and the quiet project of staying yourself while becoming someone's dad.

Plus a genuinely heated debate about dad footwear, and Jay's House Rule that governs what happens to a toy when its time has come.