Three meters walk into a bar and they’re gorgeous, each one just as pretty as the last. They ask the bartender for shots and he pours. When the time comes for another round, they confer with each other and realize that they’re all out of cash and cant get any more drinks, so they ask the bartender if they can be put on some kind of credit. The bartender says that while the bar doesn't, “do that kind of thing here.” He was feeling cheerful enough and wants to play a game with them, so he takes out three shot glasses, fills each to the brim and explains rules: each meter will get the chance to pitch their most generous offer, and when all’s said and done, whomever the bartender determines as being the most generous, wins all three shots. The first meter accepts the challenge no problem and plays things flirtatious: they bat their eyelashes and say to the bartender, “My name is JacktheVote. Fill me up and tonight, I’ll ask you never ending questions.” The bartender raises an eyebrow at this offer, nods and strokes his beard. He then turns to the second meter and asks them about their pitch. The second meter plays things seductive: they bat their eyelashes, accentuate their bosom and say, “My name is CaitPaint. Fill me up and tonight, I'll spend hours making something out of nothing.” The bartender raises an eyebrow at this too, nods, strokes his beard, and turns to the final meter. The final meter plays things a little horny: they bat their eyelashes, accentuate their bosom, and slowly lick their lips before saying, “My name is Tomatometer. Fill me up and tonight, I'll make you eat something wet and nasty.”

The bartender raises an eyebrow, nods and strokes his beard. He then gathers all three filled shot glasses together and places them on the high shelf behind him. He turns to the three waiting meters and tells them that they have lost the game, causing the trio to leave the bar in uproarious indignation. As soon as they’ve gone, an eavesdropping patron beckons the bartender over, points at the perched trio of shots and asks the bartender who they’re for.

The bartender smiles at the patron and says, “Well my wife of course.” The patron can’t believe his ears and asks the bartender what his wife has to do with anything, and the bartender replies, “Well according to the three ‘generous’ offers I just got, my wife must be Mother Theresa!”

Topics discussed on today’s show include: Three meters, AdventAm, Podcast voices, Epstein Theories, Kay Reindl, Drakewatch:2019, Facebook Cult Bot, and Dakota Johnson!

Episode originally aired live on Twitch on Tuesday 12/03/19 - VOD link for this episode here:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/516535844

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