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Dale Reviews 2 - BloodRayne
Suggested by: Jonathan Slater (for Geek IO video game month) (again)
TITO Rating: 0.5 (out of 10)
My
interpretation of the plot: In this trope fest that features everything from speaking out notes, ketchup packs, cardboard-cutout dialogue and bad bleary flashbacks, Rayne
is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a
carnival's freak-show in Romania. When she some how transports to a strange land, she meets a
fortuneteller that tells that her mother was raped by the king of the
vampires Kagan and she decides to destroy her father.
Back story: The film is meant to be based on the Majesco video game of the same name. This movie cost $25 million (what what was it spent on) and only made $1.5 million (approx) at the box office however it made $3.5 million in Home Entertainment sales (June 2006)
Now
for the review...In The Name Of The King but for a "different" video game. Like The name of the king you have bad editing, cardboard dialogue, and all of the tropes you know and love from 800 different movies.
Some other notes: Instead of Benny Hill music...this time he have trombones (yey *sarcasm* ). Speaking of sounds, why are we being reminded that horses are still the main form of transportation. I was so tempted to give this movie a 1, for the boobies but seeing they kept using ketchup packs for blood. Speaking of boobies, why did the middle of the film turn into a porn (I'm sure that's not the source material.) I sear without all of the flashbacks, this movie would have been 60 minutes. Also, you don't end your movie staring into the camera...she crept me out and left a bad taste in my mouth.
This
had been fun! If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email
them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces)
or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ
and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies!
View all episodes
By CJ Boat
3.5
22 ratings
Suggested by: Jonathan Slater (for Geek IO video game month) (again)
TITO Rating: 0.5 (out of 10)
My
interpretation of the plot: In this trope fest that features everything from speaking out notes, ketchup packs, cardboard-cutout dialogue and bad bleary flashbacks, Rayne
is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a
carnival's freak-show in Romania. When she some how transports to a strange land, she meets a
fortuneteller that tells that her mother was raped by the king of the
vampires Kagan and she decides to destroy her father.
Back story: The film is meant to be based on the Majesco video game of the same name. This movie cost $25 million (what what was it spent on) and only made $1.5 million (approx) at the box office however it made $3.5 million in Home Entertainment sales (June 2006)
Now
for the review...In The Name Of The King but for a "different" video game. Like The name of the king you have bad editing, cardboard dialogue, and all of the tropes you know and love from 800 different movies.
Some other notes: Instead of Benny Hill music...this time he have trombones (yey *sarcasm* ). Speaking of sounds, why are we being reminded that horses are still the main form of transportation. I was so tempted to give this movie a 1, for the boobies but seeing they kept using ketchup packs for blood. Speaking of boobies, why did the middle of the film turn into a porn (I'm sure that's not the source material.) I sear without all of the flashbacks, this movie would have been 60 minutes. Also, you don't end your movie staring into the camera...she crept me out and left a bad taste in my mouth.
This
had been fun! If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email
them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces)
or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ
and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies!