In this solo episode, Marianne explores what healthy boundaries actually are, and why they exist to protect connection rather than destroy it. She shares personal stories from friendship, romance, and partner dance to show the difference between a boundary and control, and why body awareness and communication matters in setting boundaries in relationships. 

She also explains how childhood adaptation can make being true to yourself and expressing boundaries feel unsafe, why people often default to people pleasing and how checking in with your body can help you to be aware and communicate more clearly and calmly.

This episode is ultimately about learning that boundaries are not walls that keep people out, but flexible fences that let the right connection in.

Main Topics

• What a healthy boundary actually is, and how it differs from control
• Positive intention: why even controlling behavior often comes from a wish to preserve connection
• Fight, flight, or freeze, and why boundary-setting is harder in dysregulation
• How childhood conditioning teaches us to choose connection over autonomy
• Why healthy relationships need both connection and autonomy
• Boundaries in partner dance: saying no, noticing body tension, and speaking up
• Why clear words still matter, even when your body is already sending signals

Notable Quotes

• "Boundaries are not rigid walls, they're more a flexible fence."
• "A boundary is here for you, not for the other person."
• "People are not mind readers."

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to boundaries and why they matter

(01:26) Boundaries as a flexible fence, not a rigid wall

(04:55) Boundary versus control: the core distinction

(15:12) What happens when the nervous system goes into fight, flight, or freeze

(20:01) How childhood shapes adult attachment and adaptation

(28:28) Boundaries in partner dance and non-verbal communication

(35:09) Freezing, regulating, and then speaking up

(41:19) Checking in with yourself before saying yes or no

(47:45) Boundaries as a flexible fence that invites the right people in

Connect with Marianne:

• Instagram: @danceofrelationship
• Website: https://www.mariannejost.com/en
• Blog: https://www.mariannejost.com/en/blog

If you want support in your journey of checking in with your body, expressing yourself and finally creating healthy connections, my online group program is here to help you:

https://www.mariannejost.com/en/connection-unlocked

Dancing through Love and Life - your Podcast from Marianne Jost about dance, love and relationships, and the journey of life.

This episode is not a substitute for therapy. If these topics bring up strong feelings for you, please reach out to me or any other professional for support.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: KWESLA4VISO1IVLN

In this deeply personal solo episode, Marianne opens up about two major losses that hit close together: being let go from a job after almost four and a half years, and the end of a relationship.

If you have ever gone through grief, this episode will feel familiar.

She walks through the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief and shares how each one showed up for her. She reflects on how inner work changed the way she handled this season compared with past heartbreaks, and why seeing an ex-partner again in the dance community is part of love and life.

This episode is ultimately about learning to build the capacity to face hard moments instead of avoiding them, and about holding on to the belief that love remains worth it.

Main Topics

• Two losses at once: a job ending and a relationship ending
• The five stages of grief 
• Why healing emotional wounds is not linear and stages can loop back
• Facing an ex-partner within the same dance community
• Forgiveness, acceptance, and making peace with what happened
• Why inner work builds the capacity to handle future hard moments

Notable Quotes

• "I'm not only a coach, I live what I coach."
• "It's not about avoiding those moments, but building the capacity to deal with them."
• "Love remains the greatest power we have."

Timestamps

(00:00) Opening reflections and a personal episode without a set topic

(06:31) Two recent losses: losing a job and ending a relationship

(15:15) The five stages of grief (Kuebler-Ross Model)

(27:46) Allowing support from friends and family instead of hiding

(31:45) Acceptance, forgiveness, and making peace

(38:51) Why inner work changes how future heartbreak is handled

(43:30) Life includes ups and downs, and capacity matters more than avoidance

(49:48) Closing hope for listeners facing loss or breakup

Connect with Marianne:

• Instagram: @danceofrelationship
• Website: https://www.mariannejost.com/en
• Blog: https://www.mariannejost.com/en/blog

Dancing through Love and Life - your Podcast from Marianne Jost about dance, love and relationships, and the journey of life.

This episode is not a substitute for therapy. If these topics bring up strong feelings for you, please reach out to me or any other professional for support.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: KWESLA4VISO1IVLN

In this solo episode, Marianne explores what it means to be visible as a dancer and why the need for external validation can quietly shape how you move, create, and show up. If you have ever wondered whether you are dancing for joy or for approval, this episode is for you.

She shares her own story of dancing for approval, the pain of not feeling accepted by her family, and how inner child work helped her return to dancing for joy instead of applause. She frames the difference between shining for yourself and shining for the collective, and offers reflection questions to help you notice what is really driving you.

This episode is about learning to shine from wholeness instead of lack, and choosing to be seen for yourself and to inspire others.

Main Topics

• Visibility, shining, and why dancers are naturally seen
• The shadow and light sides of being visible
• Family and cultural tension around social partner dance and Kizomba
• Inner child work and rewiring beliefs about worth
• Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation
• How social media and likes can reawaken old approval patterns
• Learning to shine for yourself, on stage or alone in your living room

Timestamps
(00:00) Introduction
(03:16) The shadow and light sides of visibility
(07:17) The awakening moment that changed everything
(10:02) Inner child work and rewiring beliefs around worth
(17:02) Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation
(22:07) Falling back into old approval patterns on social media
(24:15) Would you still do it if nobody validated it?
(26:18) Final encouragement to shine for yourself and for others

Connect with Marianne:

• Instagram: @danceofrelationship
• Website: https://www.mariannejost.com/en

Dancing through Love and Life - your Podcast from Marianne Jost about dance, love and relationships, and the journey of life.

This episode is not a substitute for therapy. If these topics bring up strong feelings for you, please reach out to a professional for support.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: KWESLA4VISO1IVLN

In this episode, Marianne and Anna, the creator of The_Real_Kiz_Podcast, talk about courage, authenticity, and the pressure many dancers feel to stay silent. They discuss why people avoid speaking publicly, how dance can become an unhealthy single source of identity, and what it looks like to choose a community with more integrity.

This conversation is ultimately about using your voice, choosing your people, and making dance a part of life rather than your whole life.

Main Topics

• Courage, authenticity, and speaking up in dance communities
• How talent can be valued more than character in dance scenes
• Belonging, validation, and the desire to fit in with the “cool group”
• Dance as one source of joy, not the only source of identity
• How The_Real_Kiz_ Podcast began and why Anna created it
• Justice, responsibility, and speaking up for others
• Choosing events, teachers, and communities with intention

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction

(05:26) Belonging, introversion, and the pressure to fit in

(08:44) Character, commitment, and the people outside the spotlight

(10:45) Anna’s turning point

(12:24) Dance as one source of validation, not the only source

(14:16) How The_Real_Kiz_Podcast began

(18:47) Why Anna talks about the topics that nobody speak about

(32:58) The grass is greener where you water it

(36:26) Choosing events and communities intentionally

(43:03) Bringing your own activities to festivals to connect outside dance

(48:15) Using your voice to challenge harmful bookings and support others

(49:50) Closing

Connect with Anna and her Podcast:

Anna is a passionate dancer and the creator of The_Real_Kiz_Podcast. She shares honest, thoughtful conversations about authenticity, community, and the realities of dance culture, with a focus on speaking up, choosing integrity, and building healthier connections both on and off the dance floor.

• The Real_Kiz_Podcast:
  • Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5aOB7HhEsdCdUnYymSXmZ5
  • Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@therealkizpodcast
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_real_kiz_podcast/
• The Kiz Mentorship Project:
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kiz_mentorship_project/?hl=en

Connect with Marianne:

• Instagram: @danceofrelationship
• Website: https://www.mariannejost.com/en

Dancing through Love and Life - your Podcast from Marianne Jost about dance, love and relationships, and the journey of life.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: KWESLA4VISO1IVLN

In this episode with Kiran - an Argentino Tango dance teacher - we are exploring how partner dance can be a tool for growth and self-connection, and the importance of psychological safety in teaching and community. Kiran shares his journey of how dance evolved from merely steps to a deeply personal practice of self-connection, trust, and emotional safety.

Main Topics:

• How partner dance fosters self-awareness and emotional resilience
• The role of trust and boundaries in dance and teaching
• Developing a mindset of curiosity, honesty, and self-responsibility
• Inner safety as a foundation for external connection
• The evolving purpose of dance from external validation to inner growth
• Practical tips for creating psychologically safe dance spaces
• The importance of celebrating individuality and non-judgment

Chapter:

• (00:00) - Welcome and introduction to Kiran's dance journey
• (03:29) - The roots of Kiran's love for dance the awakening to dance as a tool for self-connection
• (10:26) - Recognizing when dance is no longer just fun, but a growth journey
• (17:23) - Developing inner safety and trust within dance practice
• (27:10) - The responsibility of dance teachers to create safe spaces
• (30:00) - Practical steps for instilling psychological safety in dance classes
• (37:20) - Overcoming ego traps and external validation in dance
• (44:22) - The importance of trust and emotional safety in partner dance
• (50:32) - Encouraging self-responsibility and inner safety
• (54:36) - Building a methodology rooted in curiosity and emotional awareness
• (70:00) - The importance of responsibility in one’s dance journey
• (71:40) - Outro

Connect with Kiran:

Kiran is a London-based dancer, teacher, and organiser passionate about connection, musicality, and helping people feel confident on the dance floor. He loves building welcoming spaces where everyone feels seen — from complete beginners to experienced dancers — and will be sharing his experiences and personal growth from Argentine Tango.

• Tango Amistoso
• Kiran's Instagram: @kiransp.tanguero

Connect with Marianne:

• Instagram: @danceofrelationship
• Website: https://www.mariannejost.com/en

Dancing through Love and Life - your Podcast from Marianne Jost about dance, relationships, and the journey of life.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

Code: KWESLA4VISO1IVLN

In today’s episode, I’ll share how dancing completely transformed my life and how it became the doorway to emotional healing, personal growth, finding love again and imrpoving all my personal relationships.