😭 Meeting your Player 2 organically can be a challenging quest. It involves balancing making friends while keeping an eye out for potential connections. Sometimes, people in a certain group don't share your same passions. Or perhaps not as much as you'd hope. So, how do you move forward? 🤔

In this episode, Pete and I talk about how we socialize, whether the others share our same interests or not 💬 Because sometimes what can seem like a rejection, may in fact turn into an engaging conversation for everyone. You just need a little imagination! 💭

🙈 Pete also shared how he went from being a shy, quiet, serious kid to being comfortable talking to everyone. Just like Attachment Theory teaches, it often involves the support of other people. In his case, with the help of other kids who invited him to hang out 🥳

💪 This validation of Pete's hobbies gave him the security that he had nothing to be ashamed of as a nerd. Even more so nowadays, with Marvel, Fantasy, and Anime being so popular! 🧙‍♂️

🎧 Are you ready to become a social nerd? Press Start!

👾 Most nerd relationships start as friendships. Download the FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality 🕹️

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

Pete's Links:

• https://linktr.ee/be1mont
• https://www.instagram.com/be1mont_lotr/
• https://www.youtube.com/@be1mont_lotr
• https://bsky.app/profile/be1mont.bsky.social
• https://www.tiktok.com/@be1mont_lotr
• https://www.youtube.com/@voicesofarda

Related Episodes:

• The High School Reunion: the Nerd Love Story of Pete and Ariana
• Hobbit Hike
• Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee Lopez
• Dating In The Tolkien Association
• Animé Los Angeles
• Find Your Nerd Community: Where to Meet Nerds, with Jose
• The Tolkien Association: Where to Meet Nerds, with Vir

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:41 Where to Meet Your Player 2
• 00:02:26 Being a Creep
• 00:04:32 Talking About Your Hobbies
• 00:07:11 Dealing With Rejection
• 00:10:56 Not Being Too Serious
• 00:16:07 Gaining Confidence
• 00:21:14 Closing

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

💔 How can you find someone to date when dating apps aren't working for you, and all you do is work, stay at home, and meet with the same D&D group or spend full days with one single person at a time playing Warhammer? 🧌

In this episode, Kirk shared his challenges to date as a single nerd 😰 Like many people, he was promised that "if you focus on yourself and sort your life out, someone will naturally come." Unfortunately, that was not the case. He found a steady job and a home, but nobody to share his life with 🏡

📱 Since dating apps weren't working, he decided to shelf the thought of a partner and focus on hobbies like Warhammer and TTRPG. Ironically, that's what led to his first date ever. Even though Kirk started feeling like he was way too busy and almost without options, he managed to find a date. And in the same way that he found one, he can find another. And so can you 🫵Sometimes, we create our characters in ways that don't help us reach our complete specific quests 🤬 We thought a certain build would do the trick for every single area, but that's often not the case. 

🏢 The life you thought would lead to happiness may feel more like a trap than anything else. In those cases, taking a step back and thinking of ways to find your Player 2 may be the best strategy. Like Kirk, with some brainstorming and looking at your past successes, you may find a way to defeat the BBEG and get the loot! 🪙

🎧 Are you ready? PRESS START! 👾

👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️

Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

Related Episodes:

1. Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee Lopez
2. IRL Lessons from Video Games, with Dr. Daniel Kaufmann
3. Physical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: the Nerd Love Story of Jose and Julian
4. Shy meets Socially Anxious, and Going Slow: the Nerd Love Story of Steven and Christin

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

👯 What does dating within a nerd community look like? Finding a group you're comfortable with can help you "just be yourself" and find your Player 2. 🙌 It also means you'll be enjoying yourself until that happens, which makes you more attractive!

🧙‍♂️ In this episode, Jose and I discuss what it was like to date within the Argentine Tolkien Association, where we met. Just like a Skill Tree, each friend you make can introduce you to others who are similar. From within those people, you may end up finding your Player 2... as long as you focus on expanding your network with like-minded friends.

👀 And that's exactly what we saw. Almost everyone there found someone to date (or have "something" with). Almost. Because some people were trying too hard, and that was what kept everyone away. Both as friends and as benefits 😔

🎧 If you want someone to give The One Ring to, listen to this episode! 💍

💬 And if you're wondering where you can meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

Related Episodes:

1. The Tolkien Association: Where to Meet Nerds, with Vir
2. Find Your Nerd Community: Where to Meet Nerds, with Jose
3. Tolkien meets Star Wars: The Nerd Love Story of Kaia and Celania
4. Physical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: The Nerd Love Story of Jose and Julian

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:54:09 What to Do and NOT to Do
• 00:06:06 "Just Be Yourself"
• 00:08:44 Choosing Who You Want to Be and Date
• 00:11:53 Go Slow With Your Nerdom
• 00:15:40 Conversation Tips for Info-Dumping Nerds
• 00:19:07 Find Your Community First

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #tolkien #lotr

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

🦾 What you consider success and achievements in real life could be similar to how you play video games. Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is back to share how learning what we value in video games reflects what we may also value IRL 🌎

Understanding your player type can help you make choices that align with your personality 🤓 Knowing how you play video games can say a lot about the types of challenges you thrive on and how you prefer to overcome them. This new information can help you make choices that align with what you enjoy, helping you get over obstacles and get yourself in situations where you can thrive! 🏆

But just like with any other model of personality type, these are characteristics that can change over time 📈 You likely don't play only one specific type of video game, so you're also likely to enjoy different things in real life. However, using these as guidelines can be the start to enjoying your life to the full 🤩

🖤 Dating, like most things in life, has its own set of challenges. The cheat code is to choose the ones we're more likely to enjoy or, at least, find tolerable enough to overcome ⛰️

Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Listen now and start choosing the best challenges for your player type!

👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️

Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality

Guest Bio

Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is a YouTube Partner as Dr. Gameology, where he teaches about the many positive elements of video games that help us overcome professional and personal journeys in real life.

He is an Associate Professor who’s helped develop programs for gaming and geek therapy training in clinical settings, and his publications cover video games, personality theory, online education, and counselor development. 

Dr. Kaufmann recently published the book The Gamer’s Journey, to help you turn the themes found in many video games into life lessons that can unlock your own potential. 

Socials: @DrGameology 

• https://www.youtube.com/@DrGameology 
• https://www.instagram.com/drgameology/ 
• https://www.facebook.com/DrGameology 
• https://www.twitch.tv/drgameology 

Other Links

• https://drgameology.com/ 
• https://discord.com/invite/3bY5u5EBcn 

Podcast

• https://drgameology.com/podcast/ 

Book: The Gamer's Journey https://www.amazon.com/Gamers-Journey-Daniel-Kaufmann-PhD-ebook/dp/B0D7NY5Z1R

Related Episodes:

• Beat the Fear of Rejection Through Your Gamer’s Journey
• Gamify Your Dating Anxiety
• Find Love Through Online Games

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:01:23 Gamer Personality Types
• 00:07:00 Learn From Your Player Type
• 00:12:28 Understanding Personality Types
• 00:17:58 What Playing Baldur's Gate 3's Dark Urge Says About You
• 00:20:48 Takeaways From "The Gamer's Journey"
• 00:22:21 Contact Info

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

📆 High school crushes don't have to end with the academic year. Sometimes, relationships may benefit from a respawn much later. After gaining more XP, both players gain new ways to play together. What used to be two solo players may turn into a Co-Op game 💍

In this episode, Pete "Belmont" shares how he lost contact with his high school crush, only to meet again 10 years later at their high school reunion 🧑‍🏫 Though still platonic, that encounter later developed into a close friendship that naturally grew into a romantic relationship.

👻 For many couples, friendship is just the stepping stone towards a fulfilling relationship. Rather than fearing the Friend Zone, Pete shares how it was a natural transition for them. He finds that communicating your wants and needs is key. It's all about showing yourself to the world, including your interests and hobbies 🧩

🤓 Both Pete and Ariana were nerds, though with slightly different tastes. But because neither of them hid it, and they accepted each other, many of their interests now overlap. To the point that she now watches more anime than he! 🖥️

If you want a Player 2 who joins your nerd Quests (including a Hobbit banquet with a LotR marathon), this is the episode for you! 🍖

🎧 Press Start to go on an adventure... for two! ⛰️

🖤 WHERE TO MEET YOUR PLAYER 2 ORGANICALLY🎮

200+ places and a walkthrough to guide you on your Quest!

Download for FREE at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

Pete's Links:

1. https://linktr.ee/be1mont
2. https://www.instagram.com/be1mont_lotr/
3. https://www.youtube.com/@be1mont_lotr
4. https://bsky.app/profile/be1mont.bsky.social
5. https://www.tiktok.com/@be1mont_lotr
6. https://www.youtube.com/@voicesofarda

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:41:20 What Makes Pete a Nerd
• 00:02:38 The High School Crush
• 00:05:00 Escalating from Friends to Lovers
• 00:06:12 Discovering a Fellow Nerd
• 00:09:55 Friends to Lovers Transition
• 00:11:03 The Friend Zone
• 00:16:08 Being Confident in Your Nerd Self
• 00:21:19 Closing

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #socialskills #podcast #lotr #tolkien #hobbit #anime

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

🧝‍♀️ Wish you could find your Fellowship without having to roll a Nat 20 on charisma? Many shy, introverted nerds want to touch grass and be more sociable... without having to join extrovert quests! If that's you, Hobbit Hike could be the perfect solution! 🙌

In this episode, Sompi invites us to join “Hobbit Hike”, a magical, costume-friendly adventure where nerds, geeks, and gamers gather to touch grass, twirl swords, and unlock their social tree ⚔️ Whether you’re a veteran cosplayer, a D&D dice goblin, or just someone who’d rather sit on a rock in the forest than shout over a hentai lounge, this episode will show you a new way to build your party.

🤯 Hobbit Hike exploded from a handful of cosplay friends to a 70+ member stronghold, all while keeping things introvert-friendly and low-pressure. Sompi’s “assigned extroverts” and buddy systems make sure even the quietest newcomers find their people. With a mix of easy hikes and whimsical costumes, you'll find that the best connections happen when you’re not racing to the finish line 🏁

🎧 Ready to level up your social life and unlock the Tolkien branch of your social tree? Press start and let’s go on an adventure! 🧙‍♂️

🖤 WHERE (AND HOW) TO MEET SOMEONE ORGANICALLY! 🎮 

FREE WALKTHROUGH with 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! 

Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

About Sompi

Sompi is the founder of Healthbar Fitness, where she helps nerds, geeks, and gamers level up their health without abandoning the hobbies they love. Her journey began with personal struggles with negative body image and extreme dieting, including a stint in competitive bodybuilding that left her trapped in unhealthy cycles.

Now, Sompi is on a mission to help other nerds achieve similar transformations. Beyond online coaching, she organizes Hobbit Hike in Las Vegas, where people hike in Renaissance festival outfits, and runs a vibrant Discord community with book clubs, movie nights, and craft sessions.

At Healthbar Fitness, Sompi understands that true health includes community and personal growth—it's about building a balanced character sheet for real life while still having fun with the things you love.

Sompi's Links:

1. https://discord.gg/8jtQZR2YeF
2. https://www.youtube.com/@sompiharmetz
3. https://www.instagram.com/sompiharmetz/

Related Episodes:

1. The Tolkien Association
2. Find Your Nerd Community
3. Animé Los Angeles
4. Tolkien meets Star Wars
5. Find Love Through Online Games

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:01:22 What's Hobbit Hike
• 00:02:47 Who Joins Hobbit Hike
• 00:04:10 Fitness Level Required
• 00:06:34 A Different Hike
• 00:07:46 Helping Introverts Fit In
• 00:14:56 Checkin In On Attendees
• 00:17:08 Reading Signs of Interest
• 00:19:21 Keeping Everyone Safe
• 00:24:08 Connecting Outside Hobbit Hike
• 00:27:06 Start Your Own!
• 00:27:48 Contact Info

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

💬 Finding love on Discord is possible. Even if your Player 2 is the streamer who created the server. That said, there are some things you should keep in mind and that you want to avoid. After all, you can't meet anyone in person if you get banned! 📵

In this episode, GamerMomLuna and Jason share how they went from a Twitch chat NPC to streamer relationship to a co-op campaign building a life under the same roof 🏡 It wasn't an overnight evolution, and it wasn't planned, either.

🖥️ Jason had been watching Luna's streams and participating in the chat for a while before deciding to join her Discord. There, he was just another member joining random conversations. One day, a single thread turned into an epic-long dialogue. The rest of the server wasn’t invested, but they’d rolled a natural 20 on connection. It was time to move to a private conversation 🤫

☝️ They are the perfect example of how to transition from regular chat to DM. It's not about finding an excuse good enough to slide into someone's DMs. After all, they can block you, report you, or ghost you. It's about knowing that they want to hear from you as much as you want to hear from them 🙂‍↕️

Once there, the usual conversation rules apply. Talk about your shared passions, and get to know the person behind the screen. Eventually, the curiosity might kick in, and you can go on a date, hang out, or even invite them to your next TTRPG session! 🎲

🎧 Press play if you're hoping to meet someone online! 🛜

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮 

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! 

Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

Donate to Extra Life: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/GamerMom-Luna

Luna's Links:

• https://linktr.ee/GamerMomLuna
• https://www.twitch.tv/gamermomluna
• https://www.youtube.com/@GamerMomLuna
• https://www.threads.net/@gamermomluna
• https://www.instagram.com/gamermomluna/
• https://www.tiktok.com/@thegamermomluna

Related Episodes:

• Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee Lopez https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/find-love-through-online-games/
• The TTRPG Group https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/the-ttrpg-group/
• Rejected, Friendzoned, and Not Reading the Signals https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/rejected-friendzoned-nerd-love-story/
• Find Your Nerd Community https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/nerd-community/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:43 What Makes Them Nerds
• 00:02:01 Twitch Streamer's Discord
• 00:06:16 Transitioning to DMs
• 00:10:11 More Than Friends
• 00:13:41 First Date
• 00:19:23 Making it Official
• 00:21:54 Avoiding The Friend Zone
• 00:26:48 From Discord to DMs
• 00:28:20 Extra Life

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

👾 How do people find a partner who plays online video games? It often feels like you're damned if you join a community looking for a relationship, and you're damned if you don't (because how else can you meet someone outside dating apps?!) 🤨

🎮 In this episode, I talk to Kaylee Lopez, an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. We explore the ways you can integrate yourself into communities, unlock the gamer branch of your Social Tree, and find your Player 2. Literally! 🕹️

⌨️ Meeting gamers has its own set of challenges that are different from meeting people IRL 🖥️ On the one hand, most people don't play video games to find their soulmate (just like with most communities). So even if you're brave enough to approach NPCs, most people don't want to be hit on immediately 🙅

💬 On top of that, if you do start talking to someone and hitting it off with them... you know absolutely nothing about them. And even if you did and had some interaction, whether you'd get along in person remains uncertain.

And to top it off, even if all of that does work out... they may live too far away from you! ✈️ So even if you manage to find your soulmate, they may exist all the way across the world with neither of you wanting to move 🌎

So with all of these odds against you, could it ever happen? The answer is YES.

🎧 Press Start to learn how to find your Player 2! 🧑‍💻

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮 

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! 

Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

About Kaylee Lopez

Kaylee is an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. She's also a certified therapeutic game master, game writer, and game editor.

Kaylee's Links:

• https://kayleelopez.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/the_gaming_anthropologist/
• https://www.threads.com/@the_gaming_anthropologist
• http://patreon.com/anthroriot

Related Episodes:

• Find Your Nerd Community https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/nerd-community/
• The Tolkien Association https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/the-tolkien-association/
• Text Confession Gone Wrong, No Proper Dates, and Critical Fails https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/text-confession-no-dates/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:58 Finding Love Within Online Games
• 00:04:56 Joining With Honesty
• 00:07:47 IRL vs Online Chemistry
• 00:09:56 Find Gamers In Your Area
• 00:14:16 Expanding Your Social Tree
• 00:18:05 Breakups Within Communities

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

👀 Can your Tolkien hyperfixation get in the way of your Love at First Sight? 

Love at first sight is rare. But if it happened, what would you do? Would you talk to them or text them first? What if they don't like you? What if you don't know what to talk about? What if you have nothing in common? Or worse, what if you overwhelm them with your hyperfixation about Tolkien? There's only one way to find out. 👇

In this episode, Kaia shares how she managed to date her now-fianceé... with a little help from her boss. 👨🏻‍💼 Because Kaia knew she wanted to marry Celania as soon as they met. But her social anxiety blocked her from a conversation in person or even via text! 😫

🧝‍♀️ One of Kaia's fears was related to her passion for Tolkien's work. The same hyperfixation that led her to become a Tolkien-centered content creator didn't help her when relating to others. She knew she would often overshare information about the Lord of the Rings. Way more often (and longer) than most people enjoyed. 🥱

And she was right. However, she didn't know Celania was into Star Wars and LEGO 🪐 Not LotR. Fantasy and sci-fi can be considered opposite fandoms. But they're still close enough that they'll understand each other better than most. Over time, however, they became interested in each other's passions, which built more trust and security and strengthened their relationship.

🙅‍♀️ Sometimes, people won't share your interests or humor. And that's ok. But if you take small steps and test for their interest slowly, you might find someone who'll want to spend their life with you 💍

🎧 Listen to this episode to find a partner who enjoys your hyperfixation! 💪

🖤 WHERE TO MEET YOUR PLAYER 2 ORGANICALLY🎮

200+ places and a walkthrough to guide you on your Quest!

Download for FREE at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

Kaia Kay's Links:

https://beacons.ai/kaiakayy

https://www.instagram.com/kaiakayy/

https://youtube.com/@kaiakayy

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaiakays

https://bsky.app/profile/kaiakayy.bsky.social

https://www.threads.net/@kaiakayy

Related Episodes:

1. Text Confession Gone Wrong, No Proper Dates, and Critical Fails
2. Shy meets Socially Anxious, and Going Slow
3. The Tolkien Association
4. Find Your Nerd Community

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:36 What Makes Kaia a Nerd
• 00:02:15 Love at First Sight
• 00:04:01 Fear of Rejection
• 00:05:12 Info-Dumping
• 00:05:59 Afraid to Text Your Crush
• 00:10:07 Testing for Compatibility with Humor
• 00:15:03 Forced First Date
• 00:19:05 Disclosing Your Sexuality
• 00:23:51 Signs of a Good Date
• 00:24:59 Second Date
• 00:26:27 Unprepared for Conversation
• 00:28:47 Avoiding Info-Dumping
• 00:36:15 Dealing with Opposing Fandoms
• 00:40:18 Kaia's Contacts

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #tolkien #lotr #starwars

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media

😇 The alternative to being a Nice Guy™ is often considered to be a Bad Boy 👨‍🎤 Because many people think that the problem is being a good person. And, sure, some people might be attracted to that... in the short term. But if you're looking to build a healthy and loving relationship, you may want to look into becoming a Kind Person, instead 😌

🖤 In this episode, April returns to share what made her fall for her husband Scott. It wasn't his wealth (he lived in an RV), or being a nerd (he watched Star Trek and played video games), or his physique (we'll just believe her with that). It was him being "the kindest man she'd ever known." 😍

🤔 What sometimes goes wrong with Nice Guys™ is giving with unspoken (and not agreed upon) expectations (a.k.a. manipulation) and a lack of boundaries. Some examples could be giving gifts or doing favors for someone you don't have a close relationship with, often at the expense of your own problems, expecting them to like you or do something for/with you 🎁

❌ If you feel like you've been rejected for being a Nice Guy™ and you have to turn into a Bad Boy, give this episode a listen. You'll find many ways to become more attractive as a kind, good, and generous person 💪

🎧 Listen now and trade the Nice Guy™ for the Kind Person!

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮 

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest! 

Download it for free at https://www.datelikeanerd.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discord

April's Nerd Love Story: https://www.datelikeanerd.com/podcast/nerd-wedding/

Boundaries Blog Post: https://www.datelikeanerd.com/skills/shields-boundaries/

Vulnerability Blog Post: https://www.datelikeanerd.com/skills/be-like-a-barbarian-be-vulnerable/

Socials: 

• https://www.instagram.com/legiodith13
• https://www.threads.net/@legiodith13
• https://bsky.app/profile/legiodith.bsky.social

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:41 Being a Nice Guy
• 00:04:52 Kind Person Behaviors
• 00:09:07 Working on Your Mental Health
• 00:13:31 Weird Acts of Kindness
• 00:17:18 Boundary Problems with Nice Guys

Contact:
[email protected] or
@datelikeanerd on social media