Dating After 50 with Helen Reese author of Project Ex: 2BB 057

Coming to you from the single’s bar high atop the Monrovia Marriot.

We interview Helen V. Reese, author of the book Project Ex, an entertaining novel about dating after 50.

We wondered how much of the protagonist of the book (Lydia) actually came from Helen’s life. Both are therapists. Lydia has a long list of ex’s she finds using a Facebook ad and interviews them for an article she’s writing. Helen says she didn’t have as many. However, with Internet dating, you can meet a lot of guys.

Rebecca mentions how guys try to pick her up on Facebook, probably because she used Photoshop on her profile picture. Sharone says the guys who try to friend her are 23-year-olds from Southern Hemisphere countries trying to get a green card.

Lydia has been single for 12 years and is trying to figure out why she can’t find a decent relationship. She discovers that in many cases it didn’t have much to do with her personally. The guy was the one with the problem. We’re always asking ourselves “Am I too heavy?” “Did I have bad breath,” “Is it my age?” Then we beat ourselves up.

Men also use Photoshop and don’t look like they really are on dating sites. Sharone found a man she knew on JDate who still had black hair when she knew it was gray.

Put you’re a current photo on your dating site profile but make sure it’s a good one.

Are there benefits from dating after 50?

After 50 were not so much into perfection and don’t have as rigid of ideas on how we want a man to be. (Height, weight, profession, etc.)

Hopefully, we like ourselves more and have a better sense of who we are.

We have life experience and more to share. In other words, we’re more fascinating.

How to Jump back into dating

In the book Lydia takes her best friend on some adventures (including a cruise) If you go somewhere with a girlfriend and don’t meet a guy you can still have fun with your friend.

Girlfriends are great resources to meet other people. Single girlfriends don’t mind listening to you tell them a guy was a jerk, whereas your married friends may not understand.

Rebecca says she has a hard time imagining a romance with an “old guy.”

After Helen’s brother passed away, her sister in law became involved with an older man and it turned out to be a wonderful match. He was in great shape, so you never know.

As women, we need to accept that we’re older. Many women over 50 are in better shape than men because we use anti-aging products to keep us younger looking.

All three of us agreed that Harrison Ford is a hunk, despite the fact he’s with a much younger woman.

Sharone used to avoid bald guys until she realized it was because some of the bald guys she dated were lemons.  The baldness had nothing to do with it.

We regret the “nice guys” we let get away when we were young.

Are you terrified of online dating?

Security is paramount. But still take a chance and get out there.  Do it professionally. Have a great photo taken of yourself and take care writing your bio even if you need to pay a professional to do it. An excellent profile is key.  Be open to revising it if it isn’t working. There’s no commitment in just doing that much.

Meeting people in bars can be scary and depressing. You don’t know who is married or whatever.

Avoid serial dating – That’s someone who has their profile up all the time. If you meet someone, take it off while you’re dating. Then put it up later if you are looking for a new relationship.  Take breaks. Spend time with girlfriends doing fun activities.  You don’t need a man to do things.  Have friends over. Throw parties. Someone you connect with may know someone who’s perfect for you...