AJ & Cris reflect on their past dating lives, the feelings of abandonment, and learning when to let go of unhealthy relationships without feeling guilty. 


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Episode 44 - Dating the Abandoned

(On Hiatus)*Trigger warning: some episodes we discuss drugs/self-harm/sexual trauma, ect.* AJ shares his experiences with BPD, anxiety, and depression along with his husband Cris. Together they discuss their relationship&#39;s special challenges, mental health issues, and their lives as introverts. Our goal is to share personal struggles and different mental health journeys. We are not mental health professionals and have no mental health qualifications but our own experiences. We&#39;re just two introverts in love dealing with life.♥️ For ad-free episodes, become a Patron! https://borderlineidealist.com/links

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Check out our YouTube channel and subscribe. We're expanding, and because videos take so much time, there will be fewer podcast episodes.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/borderline-idealist-bpd-anxiety-and-depression/donations

Borderline Idealist Youtube Teaser

A song to help you use the STOP skill to the tune of "Stop," by Spice Girls! 
Music, video, acting, directed and produced by Aj!
More song on the way!

Lyrics:

PERSON: I've heard you talk about the stop skill but I can never use it 
AJ: why?
PERSON: I just can't remember to use it!
AJ: well I have a fun way that can help you to remember it!
PERSON: really? Okay!
AJ: it's a song that came up with. PERSON: okay!
AJ: and I'm going to have to sing right now so... PERSON: .. Oh no thank you
AJ: Too late! Let's say:

Someone just walked in,
They make you frown,
For some reason you don't think they like you. 
It's how your friends are charmed away, 
Distracted from what you were saying.
Trying to stay grounded but those strong feelings, 
Makes you want to show them how bad your feeling, 
Youre Lost in a daze,
The stranger steps your way,
With a smile, asking how you're doing?

You're angry from being pushed aside, 
You want to run out of the room and cry, 
That feeling so intense,
Recognize when you're about to lose it.

PERSON: Okay, so that's when I...

STOP right now!
Take a step back,
Observe your surroundings, what your feeling,
Find the facts?
Proceed now mindfully. Don't go overreactioning, So you won't regret a thing.
La la la la
Remember feelings don't last forever
La la la la
If you use stop things will turn out better.
You feel angry like you've been deserted,
But acting out right now just isn't worth it,
You're right to feel the emotions you do,
But resist the thrill of getting even! Acting on them
Consider being wise beyond your years,
Recall the times you went apeshit on peers,
Never makes you look too good,
When you're telling everyone you didn't get what you deserve!

STOP right now!
Take a step back,
Observe your surroundings, what your feeling,
What are the fact?
Proceed now mindfully. 
Don't go overreactioning, 
So you won't regret a thing.
When you feel, 
Eyebrows arching, 
Temperature rising, 
Hands clenched, 
Arms stiff,
You know it's time to stop that ship!


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Stop! - DBT skill song

Being assertive means having the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. You have the right to express your view point and the responsibility to speak up. In this episode, we discuss finding and practicing your assertive voice. We reenact Aj being assertive and Cris shutting down, and both our viewpoints on how we view the situation and respond. 


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Is it rude to be assertive?

AJ has tried many methods to find—but most importantly maintain—the motivation to accomplish many of his long and short term goals. Over the years, he's struggled with setting goals and seeing them through, staying on task, or simply not feel overwhelmed by his tasks. When he's failed, he's riddled with feelings of guilt and disappointment, which overtime turn into depression and a sense of hopelessness. We're excited—and a little nervous—to talk to you about a new system that has truly made a big difference in the first week of implementation. Today, we're talking about a new app called Habitica. We hope this honest discussion about goals, failure, and perseverance, will inspire you to get back up, dust yourself off, and try a new approach.


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/borderline-idealist-bpd-anxiety-and-depression/donations

Gamify Good Habits

We're excited to sit down with musician Coughlin to talk about his experience in the music industry and his commitment to mental health awareness. Go to Coughlin's Instagram to Pre-Save his upcoming single, "Ridin" as heard in the intro of this episode. www.instagram.com/coughlinmusic


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/borderline-idealist-bpd-anxiety-and-depression/donations

Episode 44 - Dating the Abandoned

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