Low and behold, Doug Wilson just posted a video on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V55fR... I think his main point is to "show don't tell" - don't overshare all the deepest desires of your heart.   It's better to speak less and have people assume you know more than you're saying than to speak too much and prove that you don't know as much as you think you do.  He is suggesting coming prepared with questions to ask her about all manner of things.  What are her thoughts about x, y, and z.  (And don't get combative w/her about her thoughts!)