Hey, Hi, Hello, this is the History Wizard and welcome back for Day 19 of Have a Day w/ The History Wizard. Thank you to everyone who tuned in for Day 18 last week, and especially thank you to everyone who rated and/or reviewed the podcast. I hope you all learned something last week and I hope the same for this week as well. Originally this week was going to cover the currently ongoing genocide in Ukraine, but I need to do some more research before I’m ready to record that episode so instead today’s episode is going to be an interlude and we’re going to be talking aboutone of my favorite women in history. Olga of Kiev, a woman who is the very definition of fuck around and find out.

But first! The Alchemist’s Table! Today’s libation is called Kissed by Summer. It’s 2 oz of bourbon, 1 oz each of amaretto and francelico. .75 oz of vanilla simple syrup, 3 dashes of angostura bitters. Shake well and pour over ice. Top with equal parts lemonade and ginger beer and enjoy!

So, now onto Ola of Kiev, the Saint of Slaughter. Olga’s exact year of birth is unknown, but we know she was born somewhere between 890 and 925 CE in Pleskov. She was of Varangian origin, which was an ethnic group descended from Swedish vikingr invaders that eventually settled in the area of the Kievan Rus. She was 15 years old when she was married to Prince Igor I of the Rurik Dynasty. Igor was the son of Rurik, making him only the second ruler of this particular dynasty. During Igor’s reign and owing to a great deal of military aid from his guardian Oleg the Wise the Kievan Rus, and the many tribes of people living in it all came under Rurik control.

Tragedy would strike the Rurik Dynasty in the form of a neighboring tribe known as the Drevelians, a tribe of Eastern Slavic peoples. The Drevelians were not part of the Kievan Rus, though they had joined them in military campaigns against the Byzantine Empire previously and paid a yearly tribute to Igor’s predecessors in the Rurik Dynasty. After Oleg the Wise died in 912 CE the Drevelians stopped paying their tribute to Igor, instead paying it to a local warlord. 

In 945 CE Igor set out with his army to bring the Drevelians into line. No longer would he allow them to deny him what he saw as his rightful tribute. He marched his army to the traditional Drevelian capital, Iskorosten, today known as Korosten in the Zhytomyr Oblast in northern Ukraine. Now, Igor’s army was much larger than any the Drevelians could field, so they backed down and agreed to resume their payments to Igor. However, Igor became greedy and after leaving to return home he turned around and went back to Iskorosten to demand even MORE tribute, at which point he Drevelians captured him alone and killed him.

According to the Byzantine chronicler Leo the Deacon, Igor's death was caused by a gruesome act of torture in which he was "captured by them, tied to tree trunks, and torn in two." They allegedly tied one leg each to two bent over birch trees and then let them catapult up in opposing directions, tearing him in half. Though it is possible that this exact story is apocryphal, the fact that Igor was killed by the Drevelians cannot be denied.

Upon learning of the death of her husband Olga ascended to the throne to rule as regent in the name of her son Sviatoslav. Olga was the first woman to rule over the Kievan Rus. Now, there isn’t a great deal of information in the historical record regarding what Olga’s reign was like. But there is A LOT of information detailing the bloody revenge she got on those who stole her love from her.

The Drevelians, now firmly in the Fuck Around stage and emboldened by their successful murder of Igor sent a missive to Olga. They proposed that Olga should marry the Drevelian prince Mal. The man directly responsible for killing her husband. According to the Russian Primary Chronicle, a document formerly thought to have been written by Nestor the Chronicler, although now it is considered to be of unknown authorship, Olga responded to their bold pronouncement thusly:

“Your proposal is pleasing to me, indeed, my husband cannot rise again from the dead. But I desire to honor you tomorrow in the presence of my people. Return now to your boat, and remain there with an aspect of arrogance. I shall send for you on the morrow, and you shall say, "We will not ride on horses nor go on foot, carry us in our boat." And you shall be carried in your boat.”

When they returned the next day the Drevelians repeated the words Olga had bade them and the people of the Kievan Rus lifted their boat upon their shoulders and carried them into the courtyard of Olga’s castle. The Drevelians were thrilled by this, feeling as though they were carried in great honor upon a palanquin. Once they were brought into the courtyard their porters dropped them, boat and all, into a trench that Olga had ordered dug the day before and were buried alive. It is written that Olga bent down to watch them as they were buried and "inquired whether they found the honor to their taste."

The Drevelins were now squarely in the middle of the Find Out stage, although they didn’t know it yet as all 20 of the men from the initial retinue they had sent were now buried in the courtyard of Olga’s home. So Olga wrote to the Drevelians and asked them to send “their distinguished men to her in Kiev, so that she might go to their Prince with due honor.” The Drevelian, completely unaware of the fate of the previous retinue sent others to Olga, who ordered a bath be drawn so that they might wash off the dust of the road. Once the bath was drawn and the Drevelians were comfortably in the bathhouse, Olga set the damnthing on fire. No one escaped alive.

But Olga’s revenge was not complete. The Drevelians, still unaware that Olga was engaged in acts of genocidal revenge over the death of her husband, received another missive from her. She was on her way to Iskotorsten and asked that they prepare great quantities of mead so that she might mourn and feast her husband as is proper. And the Drevelians compiled and a funeral feast was held by Igor’s tomb. When the Drevelians were good and drunk on mead, Olga ordered her followers to fall upon them and slaughter them all. According to the Primary Chronicle some 5000 Drevelians were killed in a single night.

Olga would then return to Kiev, her capital city, and prepare her armies to march back to Iskotorsten. She swept across Drevelian land like an avenging angel until she reached, once again, their capital. Here is where things stalled and Olga entered into a year long siege. Eventually she sent another missive to the Drevelians asking them why their capital refused to surrender. “All of your other cities have surrendered and now pay tribute to me, why would you rather die of hunger than pay tribute.”

The Drevelians, as you might expect, responded that they were worried that Olga ws still dead set on revenge, but Olga told them that the boat, bathhouse, and feast massacres had satisfied her. She instead asked them for 3 pigeons and three sparrows from each house and the Drevelians rejoiced that the price they were asked to pay was so low. Oh those poor fools.

Olga then instructed her army to attach a piece of sulphur bound with small pieces of cloth to each bird. At nightfall, Olga told her soldiers to set the pieces aflame and release the birds. They returned to their nests within the city, which subsequently set the city ablaze. As the Primary Chronicle tells it: "There was not a house that was not consumed, and it was impossible to extinguish the flames, because all the houses caught fire at once." As the people fled the burning city, Olga ordered her soldiers to catch them, killing some of them and giving the others as slaves to her followers.

Olga would go on to become a saint in the Eastern Orthodox Church. Not because of the genocide she committed. Mostly because of her efforts to Christianize the Kievan Rus, a mission that she did not succeed in, but that was carried to fruition by her grandson Vladimir.

Well… that’s it for this week folks. No new reviews, so let’s get right into the outro.

Have a Day! w/ The History Wizard is brought to you by me, The History Wizard. If you want to see/hear more of me you can find me on Tiktok @thehistorywizard or on Instagram @the_history_wizard. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to Have a Day! On your pod catcher of choice. The more you do, the more people will be able to listen and learn along with you. Thank you  for sticking around until the end and, as always, Have a Day.