THE MARINERS ARE SIGNING ICHIRO! Yeah, uh, well that’s not a great idea. Nathan, David, and Scott convene for an emergency broadcast to collectively roll eyes, talk about what this could portend for Jerry Dipoto, reminisce a bit, and come up with a few #fun #facts.

Want to feel great about Ichiro coming back? Awesome, by all means do so and have a great time. To a certain extent, that’s our plan too. But bringing back a 44-year old outfielder when Jon Jay gets 1 year 3 million dollars makes it pretty clear where the scales are balanced for Mariner ownership. What a pity.

(Music credits: Ben Gibbard, some other random thing I found on YouTube)