Have you ever experienced church hurt? Is there an offense that has been causing you bitterness? If this is your case, I want you to know that I’m so sorry for the hurt that you have experienced. 
My friend, Pastor Larry Brey, from Elevation Church, and I sat down to discuss the topic of church hurt and how to overcome it. Our goal is to parse out the realities of: 

 

Dealing with and overcoming Church hurt

 

Recognizing offenses and processing them early

  

Practicing gratitude and focusing on personal growth 

Church hurt is real. It could stem from a misunderstanding or something else. Please remember, the church didn’t hurt you, a person did. That’s why it is important to speak up and share your hurt. It is also equally important to listen and understand what others are saying and feeling. 
Gratitude and offense journals are two practical ways to help you process this hurt. Tag me @BiancaOlthoff and @lbrey and let us know how this practice is making a difference in your life.
Love you,
B

RESOURCES/LINKS
Guest
Pastor Larry Brey
TFHOC Sermon: First Things First
IG:https://www.instagram.com/lbrey/?hl=en
Quote
Any seed that is planted in silence will grow a fruit of bitterness.
Takeaways

  

Burying the past hurts and not letting them define your identity.

  

Use an offense journal to process and deal with offenses.

  

Take responsibility for your own actions and apologize when necessary.

  

Practice gratitude and focus on personal growth.

⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. Let’s start the New Year together!
⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
So grateful for our sponsors!
This episode is sponsored by Airdoctor. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code WGT you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers! 
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 138: Dealing With Church Hurt, Offense Journal, And Ramming The Gate with Larry Brey Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Author, speaker, and Christian leader, Bianca Juárez Olthoff invites you to listen in as she offers practical advice on relevant topics and amazing conversations with guests that will impact your life in positive ways. No topic is off the table and faith will always be at the forefront of the conversation. So... WE'RE GOING THERE! For more on Bianca like her books Play With Fire and How To Have Your Life Not Suck, visit www.biancaolthoff.com

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

Do you have a “game plan for crisis”? Is your goal to finish well in life?
Just as athletes prepare for unexpected challenges, we should also anticipate the potential for crisis in our lives and be ready with strategies. Rest and rehabilitation are two strategies that Jesus used to intentionally take time for rest and healing. This serves as a reminder that rest is not a sign of weakness but a necessary part of our well-being.
I shared a framework with my church team that has helped me build a plan to navigate adversity. It is the acronym CHIME which stands for Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment. This intentional approach helps us face challenges head-on.
Friend, I  invite you to reflect on your own lives, consider your responses to crises, and intentionally build resilience. Let me know how your plan for pain is coming along by tagging me @biancaolthoff 
XO,
B


RESOURCES/LINKS
Assignment
Build a plan for pain using the CHIME framework: Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment.

Quote
If you don't turn your pain into purpose or meaning, it will be a stumbling block that you can't get over.

Takeaways

Having a game plan for crisis is essential for finishing well in life.

It is important to be prepared for potential crises such as loss, death, unemployment, divorce, illness, and more.

Rest and rehabilitation are both necessary for our well-being and growth.

Knowing when to rest and when to seek rehabilitation is crucial for maintaining our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Jesus' example shows the importance of taking time for rest and solitude, as well as seeking God's presence and guidance. Take care of yourself and don't rely on others to fix or heal you.

Build a plan for pain using the CHIME framework: Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment.

Know who you are and find purpose in your pain.

Rely on the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

Create a plan for your pain to have handles for healing.


⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available.
⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 156: Your Plan For Pain // Leading Through Pain Series with Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Do you know how to acknowledge and process trauma effectively? Are you in need of strategies to help you through the process?
You know I love to talk about how my “Bible Boyfriend” Paul The Apostle had grit, resilience and endurance. But what I had never spoken about before was all of the painful trauma that he had also experienced. Despite being beaten, battered, bludgeoned, and abused many times, Paul found the strength in God to lead in the midst of his trauma. 
Ignoring or denying the existence of trauma in our lives is risky and can hinder our healing. That is why vulnerability is key to be able to address the trauma that we’re going through. Practice trauma-informed leadership by:

Understanding what trauma is and what it is not

Having honest and vulnerable conversations about pain

Starting the healing process with trusted individuals

Trauma impacts different aspects of our lives and it impacts those around us too. Don’t allow unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep you stuck in the pain. Seek help from professionals and prayerfully go to God for comfort. 
Friend, acknowledging and processing trauma is crucial. Ignoring or denying it only prolongs the healing process. Are you finding purpose in your pain? Let me know by tagging me @biancaolthoff 
Love you,
B


RESOURCES/LINKS
Assignment
Create a life map: Identify the trauma in your life over the past 10 years. 
Quote
The idea of being vulnerable feels terrifying, but we will never heal what we conceal.
Takeaways

Trauma is our response to a painful event, and it can be physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental.

It is important to acknowledge and process trauma rather than ignoring or denying it.

There are three types of trauma: acute, chronic, and complex.

The healing process involves processing the pain with trusted people, prayerfully seeking God's comfort, and finding purpose in the trauma.

⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available.
⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 155: Healing From Trauma // Leading Through Pain Series with Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Have you ever found yourself avoiding pain instead of facing it? I’ve been there too, friend.
That is why I am sharing a three-part series on healing through pain. In today’s episode, I want to start by emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and embracing pain rather than avoiding it. 
It is important to build a strong foundation and develop daily disciplines to navigate pain effectively. We do this by identifying the root cause of pain. You can not solve the pain unless you: 

Acknowledge that there’s a problem: Name the pain. 

Diagnose the problem: What’s the issue behind the issue? What’s the feeling behind the feeling? 

Treat the problem: What needs to be fixed? Who can or should speak into this? What is the root? What is needed to heal?

Revisit: Be committed to the healing process.

Are you  interested in your healing or are you committed to your healing? Identify the pain, sit in the pain and the pain will lose its power. Let’s be honest about where we’re at while being intentional about our healing. Let me know where you’re at by tagging me @biancaolthoff 

XO,
B


RESOURCES/LINKS
Homework

Identify where your pain is coming from:

Pain of growth

Pain of self

Pain of circumstance

What is the root cause of your pain? 

Quote
The number one thing that I see, people bailing out of their calling, their vocation or ministry or quitting a church, is pain.
Takeaways

Pain should be acknowledged and embraced rather than avoided.

Building a strong foundation and developing daily disciplines are crucial for leading through pain.

Identifying the root cause of pain is essential for effective healing.

Treating the problem requires a holistic approach, considering both spiritual and practical aspects.

Commitment to the healing process is necessary for long-term growth and well-being.


⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available.
⋇
So grateful to our sponsors!
This episode is sponsored by HomeChef. For a limited time, HomeChef is offering my listeners 18 Free Meals, plus Free Shipping on your first box, and Free Dessert for Life, at HomeChef.com/goingthere. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert.
⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 154: Commitment to Healing // Leading Through Pain Series with Bianca Juarez Olthoff

What happens when a crisis in leadership affects an organization? Is the opportunity for restoration and rebuilding possible? Yes it is! 
Dr. Jon Chasteen is on the podcast today. He is a husband and father, an author, the Lead Pastor of Victory.Church, and the Former University & Seminary President. Our conversation helps us understand better:

How we can rebuild after a leadership crisis

The role and challenges of a Re-Leader

The impact of foundation building

Planting seeds for future generations

Overcoming weariness and burnout

The challenges of rebuilding are real. It is important that we don’t despise the small beginnings because they will lead to the rewards of re-leading in marriage, business, and other aspects of life. Fixing what you didn’t break is hard. Navigating it can make us feel weary or stuck in the process. Remember, doing hard things with perseverance allows God to show up and bring transformation.
Not only is my friend Jon teaching us how to shift our mindset to view crisis as an opportunity for growth and improvement, we are also getting strategies on how to do hard things, lead through a mess, and find strength to keep moving forward.
Restoration is possible, friend! Let us know how you are making progress rebuilding your life by tagging us @biancaolthoff and @jonchasteen
XO,
B

RESOURCES/LINKS
Guest
Jon Chasteen http://releader.co 
ReLeader: How To Fix What You Didn't Break 
Quote
And the real question for every, really every real eater is am I willing to plant a tree and build something that I may never taste the fruit of it.
Takeaways
Re-leading requires patience and trust-building.
Don't despise small beginnings; they are essential for growth.
Re-leading can be challenging and discouraging, but it is a calling.
Zoom out and envision the long-term impact of your re-leading journey.
Doing hard things allows God to show up and bring transformation.

⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available.
⋇
So grateful to our sponsors!
This episode is sponsored by Airdoctor. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code WGT you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers! 

⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 153: BONUS The Role of a Re-Leader and The Impact of Rebuilders in Leadership with Jon Chasteen and Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Are you holding back in being vulnerable with others? Is not being part of an authentic community a factor? 
I had a deep discussion with my friend Jennie Allen on all things emotions and vulnerability. Jennie is founder and visionary of IF:Gathering, a writer, podcaster and public speaker who will be sharing with us:

There is power in friendship

How to pursue God-Sized dreams

Creating space for vulnerability

Emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity

Healing through confession

Living wholeheartedly and authentically 


Friends, finding and being part of an authentic community is HUGE because it contributes to personal transformation and growth. And transformation begins by being vulnerable. And if you can’t find a community like that follow Jennie’s advice and start your own. You can do this!
Jennie’s heart for revival and vulnerability is contagious! Let us know how you are being transformed by tagging me @biancaolthoff and @jennieallen.
Love you,
B

RESOURCES/LINKS
Guest
Jennie Allen jennieallen.com 
Instagram: @jennieallen
Book: Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It
Quote
Because I wasn't comfortable with emotions in myself, I wouldn't allow myself to feel them and because I wouldn't feel them, I would keep getting stuck in places that God wanted to free me.
Takeaways

Authentic friendships and support are essential for pursuing God-sized dreams.

Emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity are key to personal growth and revival.

Confession and vulnerability lead to healing and freedom.

Living wholeheartedly involves embracing and processing emotions.


⋇
Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here
⋇
Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option
⋇
The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available.
⋇

So grateful to our sponsors!
This episode is sponsored by AquaTru. Get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Just go to AquaTru.com and use promo code WGT

⋇
Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review!
Apple
Spotify
Google
⋇
Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca.
⋇
Want to stay connected, join the community today.
⋇
WGT email: podcast@inthenameoflove.org
⋇
Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: bradtsushima94@aol.com, Spotify: “R.A.D.”
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 138: Dealing With Church Hurt, Offense Journal, And Ramming The Gate with Larry Brey Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Download our free app to listen on your phone