In this episode, Marielle and Ed answer a listener's question about fears of abandonment when conflict arises in relationships. These fears go straight to the heart of old wounds for many people.  Often, worry that conflict will destroy a relationship is rooted in our earliest relationships with our caregivers. If that early care was inconsistent, absent, or punishing in some way, it will be hard to feel secure when conflict inevitably arises in adult relationships. With skill use and a lot of compassion, you can learn to walk yourself through this common fear.   For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ DBT Skills Discussed  Wise Mind Distress Tolerance Skills  STOP  Self-Soothing Radical Acceptance Check the Facts Opposite Action  DEAR MAN  GIVE Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#49: Dealing with Fears of Abandonment

The Skillful Podcast explores skills and concepts from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT) to help listeners reduce emotional suffering, improve their relationships and create the life they want.

Education

Training

Language Courses

Higher Education

K-12

Educational Technology

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Self-Improvement

  Are you a therapist who wants the experience of being in a DBT skills group yourself? Are you curious about how the skills can help YOU?      Marielle and Ed are starting a new skills group  designed specifically for therapists  to learn the skills together in a supportive online environment. We are excited to offer this group.      For more information and to sign up visit www.dbtskillsgroupfortherapists.com   Resources     DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets     Ask us a Question   We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question  here.   Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#61: DBT Skills Group for Therapists

  What DBT skill do you use  when your emotion fits the facts? One option is to work on changing the facts. The skill of  Problem Solving  offers a structured framework to help you change situations that cause painful emotions.      Problem Solving begins, like many of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, by naming your emotion. Next, identify your goal in solving the problem and come up with a solution to meet your goal. Break the solution down into small steps. Finally, take action.      Check in with your Wise Mind when using this skill, because Emotion Mind may distort facts or obscure solutions. Practicing this skill can feel like a lot! This episode walks you through each part of this multi-layered skill.       For full show notes, visit our website:  https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast   DBT Skills Discussed    The “What” Skills of Mindfulness    Check the Facts    Opposite Action     Resources     DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets     Ask us a Question   We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question  here.   Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#60: Problem Solving

  Today’s episode discusses the DBT skill of Willingness.      Willingness is one of the reality acceptance skills that we teach in Distress Tolerance. This skill can help you let go of fighting what is so you can do what’s needed in each situation - without dragging your feet or holding onto a grudge.      One way to understand Willingness is to think of its opposite: Willfulness. When Willfulness is present, you’re fighting reality, trying to control things, or being passive when action is needed. Your Willfulness might show up differently depending on the situation.      For full show notes, visit our website:  https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast   DBT Skills Discussed Distress Tolerance Part 2 Racial Acceptance Turning the Mind Half-smile Willing Hands   Ask us a Question   We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question  here.   Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#59: Willingness

  Once you have grasp of the DEAR MAN skill, you might find yourself getting stuck when you try to use it in difficult interactions. Maybe the other person pushes back, tries to change the subject, or refuses to engage fairly.      While we can’t force anyone to do anything, we can continue to use our skills to stay as effective as possible during heated moments.      For full show notes, visit our website:  https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast   DBT Skills Discussed     DEAR MAN     Introduction to Distress Tolerance & the STOP skill    The “What” Skills of Mindfulness    The “How” Skills of Mindfulness     Ask us a Question   We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question  here.   Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#58: Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Interactions

  Once you have a grasp of the change-oriented skills in DBT (such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving) it can be hard to figure out which one to use.      This episode walks you through deciding  if and when to act on an unwanted emotion.   For full show notes, visit our website:  https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast   DBT Skills Discussed  Check the Facts   Mindfulness of Current Emotions  Problem Solving  Opposite Action  Emotions Explained: Shame   Ask us a Question   We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question  here.   Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

#49: Dealing with Fears of Abandonment

Download our free app to listen on your phone