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Dealing With Judgement (Part 2): Forging Your Armor | The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast Ep. 8
Let's be honest: criticism stings. We're wired for connection, so the fear of being judged is a powerful (and totally human) trigger. How often does that feeling make you "just check your phone for a minute," only to look up 45 minutes later wondering where the time went?
You're not scrolling because you lack willpower; you're scrolling to escape a feeling. That's a normal response, not a personal failing.
In this episode (Part 2 of our series on judgment), we move from the "them problem" to the practical fix: Forging Your Armor. I'll share Dr. Brené Brown's "arena" strategy and explain why you must stop taking feedback from people in the "cheap seats". We'll build a complete system to build real resilience, including how to identify your "Success Squad" and implement three daily skills: adopting a growth mindset , using the "Tuesday Rule" for self-compassion , and a simple CBT tool to finally silence your inner critic.
Tired of this feeling? You're not alone. I'm building a tool to help you notice that pattern and get your power back. Join the 'Paced' app waitlist. Link in bio.
In This Episode:
[00:01:40] - Why the common advice to 'just ignore the haters' is useless (and why we're wired to care) [00:02:33] - The "Cheap Seats vs. The Arena": Why you must stop taking criticism from people who aren't being brave [00:04:09] - How to build your "Success Squad"—the small group of people who have earned the right to give you feedback [00:07:41] - The direct link between feeling judged and unconsciously scrolling to escape the feeling [00:10:11] - System 1: Flip the script with a growth mindset (a failure only exists if you quit) [00:11:49] - System 2: Practice self-compassion with the "Tuesday Rule" [00:12:41] - System 3: A simple CBT tool to challenge your inner critic [00:14:58] - Recap & Your Weekly Challenge
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Brené Brown (researcher and author)
The Paced App
TUF Collaborative
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
This Week's Challenge: Identify your "Success Squad". Take out a single sticky note and write down the names of the only people whose opinions truly matter—the ones who are in the arena with you and have earned the right to give you feedback. This is your "square squad". For the next week, when you feel a wave of criticism, look at that list and ask: "Is this voice on my note?" If not, it's irrelevant noise from the cheap seats.
🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA
Website: rhondalavoie.com
Instagram: @rhonda.lavoie
Facebook: Rhonda Lavoie
TikTok:@ rhonda.lavoie
Follow the Paced App journey: getpaced.app
Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast: "Sunny Days" by Jimmy Gunnarsson via Descript.
#FearOfJudgment #ImposterSyndrome #BreneBrown #Resilience #AvoidantCoping
View all episodes
By Rhonda LavoieLet's be honest: criticism stings. We're wired for connection, so the fear of being judged is a powerful (and totally human) trigger. How often does that feeling make you "just check your phone for a minute," only to look up 45 minutes later wondering where the time went?
You're not scrolling because you lack willpower; you're scrolling to escape a feeling. That's a normal response, not a personal failing.
In this episode (Part 2 of our series on judgment), we move from the "them problem" to the practical fix: Forging Your Armor. I'll share Dr. Brené Brown's "arena" strategy and explain why you must stop taking feedback from people in the "cheap seats". We'll build a complete system to build real resilience, including how to identify your "Success Squad" and implement three daily skills: adopting a growth mindset , using the "Tuesday Rule" for self-compassion , and a simple CBT tool to finally silence your inner critic.
Tired of this feeling? You're not alone. I'm building a tool to help you notice that pattern and get your power back. Join the 'Paced' app waitlist. Link in bio.
In This Episode:
[00:01:40] - Why the common advice to 'just ignore the haters' is useless (and why we're wired to care) [00:02:33] - The "Cheap Seats vs. The Arena": Why you must stop taking criticism from people who aren't being brave [00:04:09] - How to build your "Success Squad"—the small group of people who have earned the right to give you feedback [00:07:41] - The direct link between feeling judged and unconsciously scrolling to escape the feeling [00:10:11] - System 1: Flip the script with a growth mindset (a failure only exists if you quit) [00:11:49] - System 2: Practice self-compassion with the "Tuesday Rule" [00:12:41] - System 3: A simple CBT tool to challenge your inner critic [00:14:58] - Recap & Your Weekly Challenge
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Brené Brown (researcher and author)
The Paced App
TUF Collaborative
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
This Week's Challenge: Identify your "Success Squad". Take out a single sticky note and write down the names of the only people whose opinions truly matter—the ones who are in the arena with you and have earned the right to give you feedback. This is your "square squad". For the next week, when you feel a wave of criticism, look at that list and ask: "Is this voice on my note?" If not, it's irrelevant noise from the cheap seats.
🔗 CONNECT WITH RHONDA
Website: rhondalavoie.com
Instagram: @rhonda.lavoie
Facebook: Rhonda Lavoie
TikTok:@ rhonda.lavoie
Follow the Paced App journey: getpaced.app
Music for The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast: "Sunny Days" by Jimmy Gunnarsson via Descript.
#FearOfJudgment #ImposterSyndrome #BreneBrown #Resilience #AvoidantCoping