Dealing with TOXIC Parents: How to deSet Boundaries and Reclaim Your Peace

Dealing with toxic parents can leave you feeling confused, exhausted, and doubting your own worth. Whether you’re still living under their roof or navigating adult relationships, the impact of toxic parenting can be lifelong, but you are not powerless. In this episode of Ask Dr. Jodi, we’ll explore what makes a parent “toxic,” the subtle and not-so-subtle ways these patterns show up, and how you can begin to set boundaries to protect your peace. 

You'll learn:

• What “toxic” really means - understanding behaviors vs. labeling people
• How childhood experiences with difficult parents shape self-worth, boundaries, and emotional patterns
• The long-term effects of parentification and over-responsibility
• Why hypervigilance and people-pleasing are common responses to childhood trauma
• Practical strategies for breaking old patterns and building healthy boundaries
• How to recognize intrusive thoughts and manage self-doubt
• The importance of support systems, chosen family, and positive role models
• Why healing is a practice, not a one-time decision, and hope for anyone feeling stuck

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Watch the video of this episode at the blog: https://jodiaman.com/blog/toxic-parents
• Dr. Jodi Aman’s YouTube Channel: @DoctorJodi
• Generation Z Mental Health Resource Guide: jodiaman.com/guide
• Redirect Positive Mindset Cards jodiaman.com/order-redirect-flash-cards
• EnCompass SEL Class Activity jodiaman.com/order-encompass-game
• Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! Book

Key Takeaways: 

Recognising Toxic Patterns
Toxic parents often use manipulation, guilt-tripping, or criticism to control or undermine. If you feel anxious or on edge around them, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

The Lasting Impact on Adult Children
Toxic parenting can fuel self-doubt, anxiety, and difficulty trusting your own judgment well into adulthood. These patterns often recur in other relationships, making it challenging to set boundaries.

Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
Boundaries protect your emotional health, not punish your parents. It’s okay to say, “I need some space.” Expect resistance, but remember your well-being comes first.

Self-Care and Finding Support
Healing takes time and support. Prioritise self-care – whether it’s journaling, therapy, or connecting with understanding friends – to help you feel safe and valued.

You Are Not Alone

Many struggle with guilt and doubt when setting boundaries with parents. Seeking help is a strength, not a weakness—support is available, and you deserve it.

Thank you so much for listening to Ask Dr. Jodi! If you enjoyed today’s episode, please take a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and share it with someone who needs inspiration or help to heal!  

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About Dr. Jodi: 

Jodi Aman is a social work doctor with 28 years of experience in clinical practice. She helps clients heal from trauma, understand the world, and reclaim self-confidence. She created C.O.M.P.A.S.S., an emotional wellness curriculum for middle and high school health classes designed to mitigate symptoms of anxiety and depression.

You can find hundreds of self-help videos on YouTube @doctorjodi. Also, watch her TEDx Wilmington talk, "Calm Anxious Kids," and read her award-winning book, Anxiety… I'm So Done with You! to learn how to understand and reverse the current mental health crisis. More about Jodi.

Ask Dr. Jodi Live

Welcome to Ask Dr. Jodi, where you get trauma-informed mental health and relationship advice you won’t hear anywhere else. Advice that helps you breathe a sigh of relief.

You’ll discover that your brain is not broken...that, whatever you are feeling, it is understandable. You are having a regular human response to the context of this crazy world. But that doesn’t mean you are destined to stay like this. You can get better. And we're here to help.

We cover topics that you and those you love are dealing with every day, helping you understand the problem, yourself, and other people so you have the information you need to heal, shift beliefs, get relief, set strong limits, let go, and act in a way that helps you and those you love FEEL BETTER.

I’m your host, Dr. Jodi. I've worked for 28 years as a psychotherapist, so I've seen and understood the nuances of human behavior and relationships from a rare perspective inside people’s minds and emotions. Together, we’ll discover how you are much  more  amazing than you think you are by building your confidence and accelerating your healing journey.

We livestream this show on YT every Monday at 8 PM E, @doctrojodi, so follow me there so you can participate in the conversation. We do live coaching on air, and you can get personalized advice for your situation. You will gain a deeper understanding of yourself, gain practical tips, and hear from relatable guests who will show you how to get rid of worry, strengthen your emotional bandwidth, and create a happy, purposeful life.