Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop

In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) explore one of the most emotionally charged and increasingly common issues in modern separation: what happens to pets during divorce?

With a special guest appearance from “Buddy” 🐶, the conversation unpacks how Australian family law now treats pets—legally defined as “companion animals”—and what that means for separating couples.

The episode opens with a major legal update:

• Under recent changes to the Family Law Act, pets are now formally recognised as companion animals
• However, they are still legally classified as property
• This means:
• No “custody” or “residence” orders in the traditional sense
• Courts determine ownership and possession, not shared parenting arrangements

Both hosts acknowledge the emotional reality:

• Pets are often seen as “fur babies”
• They play a significant emotional role in family structures
• Attachment can be strong for:
• Children
• Partners
• Entire households

Despite this emotional significance, the law still treats them through a property lens, not a family member lens.

The hosts break down the key factors courts consider:

• Who is the registered owner
• Who purchased the animal
• Who performs daily care:
• Feeding
• Walking
• Grooming
• Veterinary care
• Who has had the primary relationship with the pet

The court may also consider:

• Financial responsibility
• Living arrangements post-separation
• Practical ability to care for the animal

A serious and important aspect of the discussion:

• Pets can be used as tools in coercive control and emotional abuse
• Courts recognise that animals may be:
• Subject to harm
• Used to intimidate or manipulate a partner or children
• This can influence outcomes where safety concerns exist

One of the clearest legal points in the episode:

• Australian family law does not recognise shared care arrangements for pets
• Outcomes are limited to:
• One party retaining ownership
• Transfer of ownership
• Sale or disposal of the animal (rare and undesirable outcome)

The hosts reflect on how this contrasts with common informal agreements people try to make (e.g. “week-on, week-off pet arrangements”), which have no formal legal standing under the Act.

The episode highlights real-world tensions:

• Pets are often used as leverage in separation disputes
• Disputes can reflect deeper relationship breakdown issues
• Courts are increasingly aware of:
• Strategic use of pets in negotiations
• Emotional pressure placed through pet possession

A case example discussed:

• A child formed a strong attachment to a dog
• Despite emotional factors, the court awarded the dog to the parent who was the primary owner and caregiver

Key takeaway:

A memorable story from the episode:

• A court dispute over a macaw parrot
• The bird repeated insulting phrases during proceedings
• The judge observed the behaviour and awarded the bird to the husband

The story highlights:

• How unpredictable evidence can be
• The humorous reality of property disputes involving animals

The hosts caution listeners that:

• Pets can unintentionally become bargaining tools
• Early legal advice is important to avoid escalation
• Courts are increasingly attentive to underlying coercion or manipulation

Follow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.

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• YouTube
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• TikTok
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

Listeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes.

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In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack one of the most emotionally charged and legally risky issues in parenting disputes: withholding children when court orders are in place—or when they’re about to be made.

Through candid discussion, practical legal insight, and real courtroom dynamics, the episode explores when (if ever) a parent can justify not complying with parenting orders, and what consequences follow when they do.

The episode opens with a firm reminder from both hosts:

Court orders are not optional.

• Parents who unilaterally withhold children risk serious legal consequences.
• Even where frustration or concern exists, the legal system expects compliance first, action through the courts second.
• Darren emphasizes a strong judicial expectation of adherence unless there is a genuine and urgent safety concern.

Joplin outlines the narrow exceptions where withholding may be justified:

• Exposure to family violence
• Drug or alcohol abuse impacting safety
• Neglect or serious risk factors

However, both hosts stress a key distinction:

They highlight a common problem in family law:

• Parents sometimes withhold based on beliefs (“he might be using drugs”) rather than evidence.
• Courts require a clear evidentiary foundation, not speculation.

If a parent refuses to comply:

• The other parent may bring a recovery application
• The court may involve the Australian Federal Police (AFP) to locate and return children
• Orders can escalate to warrants and enforcement mechanisms
• The withholding parent must later justify their actions in court

Key warning:

Both hosts agree on best practice:

If you believe there is risk:

• File an application in proceedings immediately
• Provide a detailed affidavit explaining concerns
• Consider updating a Notice of Risk
• Seek urgent legal advice

This approach:

• Protects the parent legally
• Ensures transparency with the court
• Reduces criticism for unilateral action

The episode explores supervised arrangements:

• Supervised contact centres can provide independent observation evidence
• They can ensure child safety while maintaining parental relationships
• However, courts are reluctant to impose long-term supervision

A detailed procedural discussion covers:

Recovery Applications

• Focus: returning a child to compliance with orders
• Can trigger AFP involvement

Contravention Applications

• Focus: punishing breaches of orders
• Potential outcomes:
• Fines
• Orders for counselling
• Parenting programs
• In extreme cases, imprisonment

However, both hosts note:

• Contravention applications are often slow, expensive, and strategically complex
• Courts frequently encourage parties to streamline proceedings

A major theme of the episode is misuse of allegations:

• Courts are alert to strategic withholding
• Emotional conflict between parents must not override child-focused reasoning
• Judges scrutinise whether claims are:
• Genuine protection concerns
• Or relational retaliation

Throughout the episode, the guiding principle remains:

Courts assess:

• Safety
• Stability
• Emotional wellbeing
• Capacity of each parent to support the other relationship

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In this emotionally charged and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle one of the most heartbreaking and legally complex issues in family law: relocation after separation.

What happens when one parent wants to move interstate… or overseas… with the children?

Can the court stop a parent from leaving Australia?

Does a mother or father have the “right” to move home?

What happens when children are caught between two countries, two cultures, and two parents who both love them?

Through a powerful role-play scenario involving a separated Australian-Norwegian family, Darren and Joplin unpack exactly how relocation disputes unfold inside the Family Court — from emotional arguments and legal strategy to parenting proposals and the harsh reality of what judges actually look for.

This episode explores the devastating emotional impact relocation cases can have on families, while giving listeners a rare behind-the-scenes look at how these cases are argued, assessed, and ultimately decided.

Darren and Joplin explore what happens when one parent wants to relocate internationally with children following separation — particularly where one parent feels isolated, unsupported, or desperately wants to return to family overseas.

The episode examines:

• Moving overseas after divorce or separation
• Relocating interstate with children
• The difference between a parent’s rights and a child’s best interests
• Whether courts can stop a parent from leaving Australia
• The emotional impact of relocation litigation

Through an emotionally realistic mock separation between “Svetlana” and her Australian husband, the episode demonstrates:

• How relocation disputes begin
• Common mistakes parents make during negotiations
• How quickly conversations become adversarial
• Why wording and attitude matter in court
• The danger of becoming positional and hostile

The fictional scenario highlights issues including:

• Sick overseas parents
• Cultural identity
• Children with dual heritage
• Long-distance parenting
• Schooling and support systems
• Maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents

Darren and Joplin explain that relocation cases are not about “winning” as a parent — they are about what is in the best interests of the children.

Key considerations include:

• The child’s relationship with each parent
• Existing care arrangements
• Emotional and practical support available overseas
• Whether the relocating parent can facilitate ongoing contact
• Schooling and stability
• Financial practicality
• Long-term parenting proposals
• Emotional wellbeing of the relocating parent

The episode discusses:

• Airport watchlists and injunctions
• Recovery orders
• Relocation applications
• Interim versus final hearings
• Why courts rarely make permanent relocation decisions urgently

Listeners gain insight into how quickly relocation matters can escalate once one parent fears the children may leave the country.

Darren and Joplin discuss how modern communication tools like:

• FaceTime
• Skype
• Video calls
• Messaging apps

have changed the way courts assess international parenting arrangements.

But they also explain the harsh truth:

One of the strongest themes throughout the episode is this:

Follow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.

Available on:

• YouTube
• Spotify
• TikTok
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

Listeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In one of the most confronting and candid episodes of Dear Divorce Diary so far, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle a topic rarely spoken about openly in family law — pornography, addiction, intimacy, coercion, and the impact it can have on marriages, parenting, finances, and divorce proceedings.

This is not a sensationalist conversation. It’s a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about how pornography increasingly appears in affidavit material, relationship breakdowns, financial disputes, coercive control allegations, and parenting concerns inside the family court system.

Darren and Jop explore the difficult reality that pornography itself is not illegal — but the way it affects relationships, consent, emotional safety, financial stability, and family dynamics can become deeply problematic.

Darren and Jop discuss how pornography increasingly surfaces during:

• Initial client consultations
• Parenting disputes
• Financial settlements
• Family violence allegations
• Affidavit evidence
• Addiction-related relationship breakdowns

The conversation examines the point where:

• private viewing habits,
• online platforms,
• or sexual behaviours

…move from personal choice into behaviour that damages a relationship or family unit.

The hosts unpack:

• How compulsive pornography use can affect intimacy
• Emotional disconnection between partners
• The erosion of trust and sexual relationships
• Sleep disruption and addictive behaviours
• Escalating sexual conduct and risk-taking

Joplin explains how addiction patterns seen in pornography cases can mirror:

• gambling addiction,
• drug addiction,
• alcohol dependency,
• and other compulsive behaviours that destabilise families.

One of the major themes of the episode is how pornography-related spending can become relevant in property proceedings.

Darren and Jop discuss:

• subscription-based adult platforms,
• spending on explicit online content,
• OnlyFans,
• escort and brothel services,
• hidden financial expenditure,
• and the impact these behaviours can have on shared family finances.

The episode explores how financial depletion linked to addiction can become a significant issue during property settlements.

The conversation takes a modern turn as the hosts discuss:

• the growing presence of OnlyFans in family law cases,
• coercive pressure within relationships,
• online sexual content creation,
• and how explicit content can later become weaponised during legal proceedings.

Joplin raises concerns about:

• coercive behaviour involving online adult content,
• financial pressure placed on partners,
• and the emotional harm that can follow when intimate material later surfaces during separation.

Darren shares examples of cases where:

• children accidentally discovered explicit content,
• browsing histories were exposed,
• or concerns arose regarding the type of material being viewed in the home.

The hosts discuss:

• parental responsibility,
• safeguarding children,
• exposure risks,
• and how family courts may assess concerns when children are impacted by adult content within the household.

One of the most serious parts of the episode explores the overlap between:

• pornography,
• coercion,
• aggressive sexual behaviour,
• and family violence.

The discussion examines:

• sexual coercion inside relationships,
• desensitisation,
• consent issues,
• and how some behaviours may cross into emotionally or physically abusive conduct.

Importantly, Darren and Jop stress the need for:

• open communication,
• early intervention,
• counselling,
• and support before these issues escalate and destroy relationships.

Have a topic or lived experience you’d like Darren and Joplin to discuss?

Reach out via:

• Instagram
• TikTok
• LinkedIn
• YouTube
• Spotify

Search for: Dear Divorce Diary

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In this powerful and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins unpack one of the most misunderstood parts of the family law system — mediation.

After receiving a flood of listener messages and social media comments, Darren and Jop dive into the reality of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), court-ordered mediation, shuttle negotiations, coercive control during mediation, and whether the system is genuinely helping separating families — or simply creating another layer of trauma.

From unsafe mediation experiences to “tick-box” certificates, legally assisted negotiations, family violence dynamics, and the emotional pressure placed on victim survivors, this episode delivers a brutally honest look at what really happens behind closed doors in family law negotiations.

The episode begins with a confronting listener message from a woman who says she felt deeply unsafe during a shuttle mediation — despite being physically separated from her former partner.

Darren and Joplin explore:

• Why “safe” in legal terms can feel very different emotionally for victim survivors
• The hidden trauma of mediation environments
• How coercive control can continue during negotiations — even without direct contact
• Why some victim survivors feel pressured into agreements

One of the biggest discussion points is the criticism of mediation certificates under Section 60I of the Family Law Act.

The hosts discuss:

• Whether some mediations have become procedural hurdles rather than genuine negotiations
• Concerns that some parties attend mediation in bad faith
• Why some mediators fail to identify abusive or manipulative behaviour
• The frustration of receiving the same certificate as a party who engaged respectfully

Joplin raises concerns about:

• Inexperienced mediators
• Delays in government-funded mediation services
• Lack of legal understanding from some facilitators
• The risks this creates in family violence matters

This episode takes a powerful turn as Darren and Jop discuss how:

• Refusing to attend mediation
• Deliberately withholding financial documents
• Failing to negotiate genuinely
• Creating delays

…can become extensions of coercive and controlling behaviour.

The conversation examines:

• Power imbalances in negotiations
• How emotional abuse can continue through legal processes
• The psychological impact of prolonged proceedings
• Why some cases are simply “not settleable”

Darren and Jop openly compare:

• Private mediation services
• Government-funded FDR programs
• Court-based mediation
• Child-inclusive conferences
• Registrar-led negotiations

They discuss why:

• The skill and experience of the mediator matters enormously
• Family law knowledge is critical in parenting disputes
• Cheap mediation can sometimes become expensive later
• Good mediation requires preparation, realism, and strategy

• Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)
• Section 60I certificates
• Coercive control in mediation
• Shuttle mediation
• Victim survivor safety
• Family violence and negotiation
• Court-ordered mediation
• Parenting disputes
• Child-inclusive mediation
• Litigation fatigue
• Power imbalances in family law
• Reality testing in negotiations
• Mediation strategies
• Trauma-informed legal practice

Darren and Jop discuss why forcing compromise in high-conflict or family violence matters can sometimes create more harm than good.

Joplin delivers a candid assessment of under-resourced mediation services and why legal expertise matters during negotiations.

Have a question or topic you’d like Darren and Joplin to discuss?

Reach out via:

• Instagram
• TikTok
• LinkedIn
• YouTube

Search for: Dear Divorce Diary

Your lived experiences and questions continue shaping the conversations featured on the podcast.

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In this practical and highly informative episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren Mort and family lawyer Joplin Higgins answer one of the most common questions sent in by listeners navigating the family law system without legal representation.

Drawing directly from a listener question submitted through social media, Darren and Joplin unpack the reality of preparing for a final hearing in the Family Court as a self-represented litigant.

This episode delivers real-world insight, courtroom practicalities, and critical guidance for people trying to navigate one of the most stressful legal processes of their lives.

The episode begins with a listener question from someone representing themselves in Family Court who is unsure:

• What documents need to be filed
• Whether submissions are required
• How to comply with court orders
• How to avoid offending the court

Darren and Joplin break down the practical realities of self-representation and explain why preparation, organisation, and understanding court expectations are absolutely critical.

Joplin stresses the importance of:

• Reading every court order carefully
• Creating checklists
• Tracking deadlines properly
• Filing documents early — not at the last minute

The discussion highlights how procedural mistakes can seriously affect a case and why practical organisation matters just as much as legal argument.

One of the standout moments of the episode is Joplin’s practical advice regarding:

• The Notice of Child Abuse / Notice of Risk document
• Why parties should consider updating it
• How significant incidents often occur after proceedings first begin
• Why these documents remain important throughout parenting proceedings

This section provides listeners with valuable insight into how courts assess risk and family violence concerns.

Darren and Joplin explain one of the biggest mistakes self-represented litigants make:

• Treating their affidavit as an emotional response document instead of evidence

The episode explores:

• Why affidavits should focus on your own case theory
• The dangers of responding line-by-line to the other party
• How word limits matter
• The importance of relevance and structure
• Why “less is more” in many areas of litigation

Joplin explains that an affidavit should present:

Even for people representing themselves, both Darren and Joplin strongly recommend:

• Having a lawyer review documents before filing
• Getting advice on hearsay and relevance
• Understanding evidentiary rules
• Refining affidavit structure and tone

The episode explains why even limited legal guidance can significantly strengthen a self-represented case.

• Self-represented litigants in Family Court
• Preparing for final hearing
• Family law affidavit drafting
• Court filing tips
• Case outlines and submissions
• Notice of Risk documents
• Parenting proceedings
• Evidence and strategy in family law
• Practical Family Court guidance
• Family violence considerations in litigation

This episode is essential listening for:

• Self-represented litigants
• People preparing for Family Court
• Parents involved in parenting disputes
• Anyone trying to understand how Family Court actually works behind the scenes

It offers practical, grounded advice from two experienced family law professionals who understand both the legal system — and the emotional toll it can take on families.

Follow Dear Divorce Diary for honest conversations around:

• Family law
• Separation
• Parenting disputes
• Domestic and family violence
• Court preparation
• Trauma-informed legal practice
• Real-life courtroom experiences

🎧 Available now on podcast platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

⚠️ Trigger Warning:

This episode contains discussions surrounding coercive control, family violence, emotional abuse, psychological harm, victim survival responses, and trauma-informed legal practice.

Listener discretion is advised.

In this deeply important follow-up episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren Mort and family lawyer Joplin Higgins revisit one of the most confronting and misunderstood topics in family law: coercive control.

Responding directly to a listener message sent via TikTok following their earlier episode on coercive and controlling behaviour, Darren and Joplin unpack one of the most common — and harmful — public questions surrounding family violence:

This conversation explores the reality that coercive control is rarely obvious, rarely isolated, and almost never simple.

Joplin explains that coercive control is not one singular act — it is often a layered pattern of behaviours that can include:

• Emotional abuse
• Financial control
• Isolation from support networks
• Threats and intimidation
• Manipulation
• Monitoring and surveillance
• Psychological degradation
• Fear-based dependency

The discussion highlights how difficult coercive control can be to identify, particularly because many victim survivors may not initially recognise the behaviour as abuse themselves.

A major focus of this episode is how lawyers, professionals, friends, and support people can better respond to victim survivors.

Joplin discusses:

• Trauma-informed communication
• The importance of indirect and follow-up questioning
• Avoiding re-traumatisation
• Creating emotional safety during disclosure
• Taking detailed notes so victims don’t have to repeatedly relive trauma

The episode shines a light on how sensitive and skilled communication can help identify patterns of coercive behaviour that may otherwise remain hidden.

Darren and Joplin strongly challenge the damaging misconception that victims can “just leave.”

The episode explores:

• Fear of retaliation
• Threats of self-harm by perpetrators
• Threats involving children
• Financial dependence
• Emotional trauma
• Safety planning
• The psychological paralysis caused by ongoing abuse

They explain that leaving a coercively controlling relationship is often the most dangerous period for a victim survivor.

One of the most practical sections of this episode focuses on what supportive friends can do.

Joplin shares examples of trauma-informed support strategies including:

• Creating a safe home environment
• Establishing emergency safe words
• Holding important documents securely
• Providing emotional support without judgment
• Avoiding pressure or ultimatums
• Respecting the victim survivor’s pace and safety assessment

The conversation stresses that support should centre around safety and empowerment — not control or expectation.

If this episode raises concerns for you or someone you know, please seek support from a qualified domestic violence service, counsellor, legal professional, or emergency service in your area.

Follow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations around:

• Family law
• Separation
• Parenting disputes
• Trauma and recovery
• Domestic and family violence
• Court processes
• Relationships and emotional wellbeing

🎧 Available on podcast platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this brutally honest and often darkly humorous episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) dive into one of the biggest modern dangers in separation and divorce proceedings — social media.

From angry Facebook rants and passive-aggressive memes to dating app disasters, GoFundMe controversies and children being exposed to online conflict, this episode explores how social media behaviour can seriously damage:

• Parenting cases
• Family law proceedings
• Personal credibility
• Mental health
• Children’s wellbeing

Daz & Jop explain why courts are increasingly examining online behaviour under a microscope — and why one impulsive post can become devastating evidence in the courtroom.

The episode delivers practical insight, cautionary tales and hard truths about how people sabotage themselves online during separation.

A major focus of the discussion is the devastating effect social media conflict has on children.

The episode explores:

• Children reading posts about their parents
• School bullying linked to family court disputes
• Friends and classmates discovering online conflict
• Emotional embarrassment and shame
• Long-term damage to parent-child relationships

Daz shares examples of children being ridiculed at school after parents publicly posted inflammatory content online.

The hosts repeatedly reinforce:

Daz & Jop explain how family lawyers, barristers and Independent Children’s Lawyers routinely conduct “deep dives” into parties’ social media accounts.

The episode highlights how courts may examine:

• Facebook posts
• TikTok videos
• Instagram stories
• Comments sections
• Dating profiles
• GoFundMe campaigns
• Text message labels and contact names

Jop explains that social media can reveal:

• Personality traits
• Emotional instability
• Aggression
• Parenting attitudes
• Denigration of the other parent
• Poor judgment

• Social media posts regularly become evidence in family court proceedings.
• Children are often deeply impacted by parents’ online conflict.
• Passive-aggressive memes and public attacks can seriously damage credibility.
• Dating profiles and fundraising pages may create legal complications.
• Courts increasingly examine digital behaviour closely.
• Online conduct may influence parenting decisions and intervention order proceedings.
• Emotional “purging” online rarely helps legal outcomes.
• If you wouldn’t want a judge reading it aloud in court — don’t post it.

Darren Mort

Family law barrister focused on parenting disputes, family violence and trauma-informed advocacy.

Joplin Higgins

Family lawyer, Director of Joplin Lawyers and advocate for trauma-informed family law practice.

If you are currently navigating separation or family law proceedings:

• Avoid posting emotionally reactive content online
• Never involve children in online disputes
• Assume all posts may eventually be read in court
• Seek legal advice before engaging publicly about proceedings
• Prioritise your children’s emotional wellbeing above online validation

Have a question or topic suggestion for Dear Divorce Diary?

Connect with Darren and Joplin via:

• TikTok
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• YouTube
• Podcast platforms

If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.

Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.

Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode contains detailed discussion surrounding:

• Domestic and family violence
• Strangulation and choking
• Trauma and coercive control
• Psychological abuse
• Court processes involving victim-survivors

Listener discretion is strongly advised.

In one of the most confronting and emotionally powerful episodes of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle the deeply serious topic of strangulation within intimate relationships — and why it is considered one of the strongest indicators of future lethality in domestic violence situations.

Drawing on their extensive experience within the family law and court systems, Daz and Jop unpack:

• How coercive and controlling behaviour escalates into physical violence
• Why strangulation is treated as an extreme risk factor
• The devastating psychological and physiological impacts on victim-survivors
• How criminal and family law systems intersect in these matters
• The evidentiary challenges victims face
• Why trauma-informed legal support is critical
• The long-term impact family violence has on children
• The urgent need for education, prevention and cultural change

This episode is both educational and deeply human — offering insight into the realities faced by victim-survivors navigating separation, parenting and the legal system after severe domestic violence.

Daz and Jop discuss how many victim-survivors never seek immediate medical treatment following strangulation incidents — often due to fear, trauma or shock.

They highlight serious medical consequences including:

• Acquired brain injuries
• Memory loss and amnesia
• Oxygen deprivation
• Esophagus and airway injuries
• Long-term neurological damage
• Severe psychological trauma and PTSD

Jop strongly encourages victim-survivors to seek urgent medical attention and documentation after any strangulation incident.

One of the most important parts of the episode examines why victim-survivors may delay reporting violence to police, doctors or the courts.

The conversation explores:

• Fear of retaliation
• Trauma responses
• Emotional paralysis
• Concern for children
• Financial dependency
• Psychological conditioning through coercive control

Daz explains how defence teams in court often scrutinise “contemporaneous reporting” — meaning whether incidents were immediately reported — despite the complex trauma responses victims experience.

Darren Mort

Family law barrister, advocate and commentator focused on family violence, parenting matters and trauma-informed legal practice.

Joplin Higgins

Family lawyer, author and Director of Joplin Lawyers, recognised for her work in family violence advocacy and victim-survivor support.

If this episode resonates with you, or you have questions about family law, coercive control, parenting, domestic violence or separation:

• Connect via Instagram
• Reach out on TikTok
• Message through LinkedIn
• Share your topic suggestions for future episodes
• 
  

If this episode has raised concerns for you or someone you know, support is available through Australian domestic violence and crisis services.

You are encouraged to seek assistance from:

• Call Triple Zero - Police in emergencies
• Domestic violence support services
• Trauma-informed counsellors
• Medical professionals
• Legal practitioners experienced in family violence matters

If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.

Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.

Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle one of the most emotionally charged issues in family law: extra-marital affairs and their impact on separation and divorce.

Although Australia operates under a no-fault divorce system, Daz and Jop explore why affairs can still play a significant role in the breakdown of relationships, family dynamics, parenting arrangements, and even allegations of coercive and controlling behaviour.

The discussion moves beyond the traditional concept of infidelity and examines how affairs can become intertwined with:

• Emotional abuse
• Psychological harm
• Family violence dynamics
• Coercive control
• Family contributions and relationship breakdown

This episode highlights the reality that while Australia has a no-fault divorce system, the emotional and behavioural consequences of affairs can still have profound effects on:

• Families
• Parenting relationships
• Mental health
• Court proceedings
• Allegations of coercive or emotionally abusive conduct

Important themes explored include:

• Respect and honesty during relationship breakdown
• The emotional impact of betrayal
• The evolving role of coercive control in family law
• How modern technology is changing relationships
• The importance of understanding the broader context surrounding infidelity

For more conversations about separation, parenting, relationships and navigating the family law system, follow Dear Divorce Diary on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.

New episodes explore complex family law topics with practical insights and real-world discussion designed to help listeners better understand the divorce process.

If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.

Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.

Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.