I ran out of comfort talking aloud before I ran out of words. Knowing someone is outside the windows, being able to overhear them moving around, feels inherently unsafe even if it’s someone who does not listen when I am speaking directly to them. Especially if I know they judge others’ private time to me unfairly and intrusively. Judgment breeds judgment, and being all up in others’ business breeds paranoia, distrust, and low-contact, information-diet tactics. I thought it was a plus that people didn’t appear to listen to me, but it doesn’t mean they’re not eavesdropping. I hate having to monitor everything I do in the privacy of my own home. That doesn’t feel safe. I need non-judgmental people. I don’t like what I’m becoming.