Pain makes me grumpy. I get misanthropic around high-stakes conversations. Underneath every complaint is an unmet need. I’m triggered to an overtired earlier version of me who resents having to be the adultier adult or fall back on whining or making others feel guilty or bad or sorry for me in order to get my needs met. Basic, basic needs, access needs. I’m sick of explaining, it wastes my time. People play keep-away with doing the right behaviours by insisting I prove to their satisfaction my truth, and my need. That’s not how this works, as adults. I have inalienable rights, and non-negotiable needs. Whether you like it or not. Explaining gives you more opportunities to pout and resist. A recent Captain Awkward letter springs to mind, about not getting distracted from the main goal by the ‘educate me’ side quest. Also known as a derailing tactic, from the marvellous ‘Derailing for Dummies’ website. Oh, that vexatious Lucy-with-the-football-and-Charlie-Brown predicament. The implied bait of, “If you just said it right, in the right way at the right time which is convenient for me, with the right tone, I would understand, believe you, and do ask you request.” It’s the grown-up version of, “Make me.”