Dear Substack Reader,

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When I woke up this morning, I thought of you. I thought of this writing being sent to your email and you taking time, which I believe is our most valuable asset, to read my essay. When I imagine a individual utilizing their most valuable asset to read what I wrote, my body fills with emotion. My chest gets a feeling of anticipation, comfort, and gratitude. A fullness that is fluid and moves to my stomach, where it is warm and calm. My leg is uncomfortable, restlessly shaking immediately followed by rapid thoughts of luck, questioning, and undeserving. I take a deep breath. In through my nose, pausing at the top and exhaling slowing. Breathing is my superpower. I brings me back to myself and when I am in my body intentionally in this way, my thoughts can slow done and connect with truth. This truth flows from my tattooed fingers to this black keyboard putting words on this page. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so very grateful. I am beyond grateful but don’t know another word to capture this.

Being able to write and now do a mini podcast on Substack is beyond my wildest dreams. I never imagined revealing my journey through life in a public way. Though I live an authentic life and am quite open, putting it out there in cyber world can feel really scary. When self-judgment comes in, the voice often says don’t. You will be judged. People will think xzy. You might offend someone. Your grammar isn’t right. Often times I delete. Type it again. Sleep on it. Save it or write something else all together.

On my more attuned days I pause, stop, validate and talk to my more tender pieces. I often ask for guidance from God, Spirit, Angels, the Universe, all things greater and bigger than me that I cannot possibly know or see. I ask what to share and what others might need. I believe that energy is contagious, and if just one person benefits from my vulnerability, then the amount of time, energy, and emotions that go into this process is worth it.

I’d like to imagine a softer flow of energy connected in our shared humanity being gifted to each supporter. Perhaps something I say will resonate with you, the reader, and the listener, and maybe, just maybe, that energy will continue flow in a positive way. Maybe you will feel less alone, kinder, or be gentler to yourself as you navigate the highs and lows of your own human journey. Maybe your energy will be caught by another human and they too will pause and consider something new…..

It is an honor to share parts of my brain and heart with you. Thank you for supporting my work.

Sending all my thank you’s, hugs, gratitude, and love, Chelsea

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