Natural Born Red Head

Decoding Respect and Reciprocity in Relationships


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Dr. Kerry McAvoy returns for a grounded, practical conversation about disordered relationship dynamics and the confusion paradox. Kerry shares how she’s evolved her work — from therapy to coaching, to podcasting, weekly livestreams, a tiered membership model, and now an upcoming AI coach app called Reclaim You.

Together, they unpack why survivors of disordered relationships assume everything is their fault, why some partners actively prefer chaos, and how shame (especially shame tied to perceived status loss) fuels denial, projection, and entitlement.

They draw a clear line between therapy and coaching, explaining the licensing constraints that complicate online therapy. But they land on something refreshingly simple: two markers that cut through the fog — respect and reciprocity. If you’re doing all the apologizing and all the emotional labor, it’s not a “communication” issue. It’s imbalance.
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Natural Born Red HeadBy Joanne Secky