In Chapter Two of "A Grief Observed," Lewis begins by expressing his appall at his initial notes, realizing he has focused too much on his own suffering rather than H.'s experience and what she lost. He reflects on H.'s vibrant appreciation for life and the cruelty of its abrupt end. A major concern for Lewis is the unreliability of memory, fearing that his image of H. will become increasingly imaginary as his mind selects and groups recollections without the real H. to correct him. He cherished the "otherness" H. brought to their marriage, a constant, real presence that he now fears losing in his memory.

Lewis also grapples with a crisis of faith, questioning God's goodness in the face of H.'s suffering and his own profound loss. He finds traditional religious consolations inadequate and unscriptural, particularly the idea of simple reunions in Heaven. He yearns for the specific past they shared, which cannot be replicated. Lewis even briefly considers the notion of a malevolent God due to the apparent cruelty of fate.

He contrasts the sentimentality of churchyard visits, which initially horrified him, with the potential for a grave to serve as a more tangible and resistant link to the deceased than a fading, malleable memory. Ultimately, Lewis's notes reveal a man wrestling with intense grief, the fear of losing the true memory of his beloved, and profound doubts about the nature of God and the comfort offered by conventional religious explanations. His writing reflects a raw and honest confrontation with loss and the struggle to find meaning in its wake.

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