Wake the Faith up Slayer… This is Garth Heckman with the David Alliance and you can reach me at

[email protected] 

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July 9th - Saturday - A Father Daughter/Son conference called PROTECTOR! Speakers on how to protect your son and daughter Emotionally, physically, sexually, socially and spiritually. Ages 10 and up if you feel your student is mature enough. Price $100 per family. At HillSpring Church New prague south of the Twin Cities

Just landed a speaker who will challenge you how to keep your kids safe from human trafficking… you say well my kid will never fall into that… oh not so fast. You obviously don’t know what you are talking about… so get ready to sign up!

How do you win in life? 

How do you win in marriage?

How do you win in your job?

How do you win in your health?

How do you win in your intelligence?

How do you win in your personal goals?

Whatever the question is - the answer is the same. You win - YOU ALWAY WIN with deeper relationships.

I have said this a million times… “I ain’t rich, but I got friends”.

You need something done, you need something, you have a question… not to worry I have deep relationships. You win with deeper relationships.

We all know its true. And because it is true we must ask ourselves continually “how can I deepen my relationships?” In every arena?

My spouse, my kids, my boss, my co-workers, my pastor, my small group, at my favorite restaurant?

Here are 3 things you can immediately do to make deeper relationships.

Listen and ask questions.

You do this to learn how to feel the issue the person is trying to describe. You are not just asking questions to find out more about what they are saying, but rather asking questions that will help you connect to them. Once you can feel what they are saying, they will believe that you understand. And it will create a depth of trust beyond just words. You are trying to not just hear them but to feel them. 

If you read the gospels you will find in many places where Jesus answers others with questions… this is a good place to start - unlike many of us who want to answer with answers… bad place to start! 

Listen and respond with feelings of connection.

You might say something like this - I think I understand correctly… I once lost a friend through gossip and felt betrayed by people I trusted… it made me uncomfortable sharing with others for a while… is this how you feel? 

When others can identify your own emotions regarding the topic at hand, you have built a bridge for deeper connections. 

If its your boss you could say “I know when people have dropped the ball for me and It left me in a bad spot… it made me feel like they only cared about their own work and not the company…. is this how you feel”. 

Once you have listened and responded with questions and feelings you are ready to…

Listen and comfort…”what can I do” How can I help? What do you need?

Deeper relationships are sometimes just based on going the extra mile. Listen, and then do something about it. 

Again, to many times we want to listen and then give the answer, rather than listen and ask them what the answer is… even if they don’t know, it means more if they just know you are there.

Bonus for the win… follow up these conversations. I take notes in my phone to follow up with everyone! 

Try texting later in the day or the next morning asking them about the issue and how they are doing.

Check in on them before the weekend, stop by their office or their cubicle or their bedroom if you are a parent.

I hope you understand what I am about to say regarding deep relationships and if not… just mull it over and it will come to you.

In todays world deep relationships are built on less and not more.