Deeper Still

Katherine, who works for the Deeper Still main office, tells her story of coming from a home where she was churched, but she didn't truly understand what Jesus did for her. After her parents divorced, she began seeking love in all the wrong places. She got pregnant at age 16, and while her mother tried to convince her that she was actually carrying a baby, her father and the parents of her boyfriend formulated a plan for her to get an abortion. That abortion led to more problems and ultimately a second abortion.

Did you know that only 2% of abortions take place in the U.S.? That means that the world overseas is full of those who have abortion wounded hearts. Lisa Mackie, Executive Director of Deeper Still Upper Cumberland, discusses how she has been involved in seeing Deeper Still expand nationwide and even beginning to grow worldwide. 

After two abortions, I married the father of the babies, and we had two more children later. I was a fearful, helicopter parent. Additionally, I was an angry person, and my marriage was volatile. For twenty-four years, I was such an angry person and disgusted with myself, until I started the healing process.

Growing up in a blended and broken household, Liz was anti-authority and started living a wild life. She ended up as a single Mom and was partying a lot, so her father took her son from her to keep him safe. She kept partying and connected with a guy, getting pregnant after a month together. She was full of fear and thoughts of what her son would think if she had another baby, so she ended up seeking an abortion with the support of the father of the baby. The abortion clinic was dirty and in disrepair, and she would have left, but she felt desperate to get out of the situation she was in. She did not feel prepared for the procedure at all, and the clinic sent her out the door afterward with no recovery time or observation at the clinic. This set her on a downward spiral where she partied more and got pregnant again- only to seek abortion yet again.

Lisa isolated and didn't trust others with the secret of her abortion out of fear of what others would think of her. Her abortion led to poor choices and unhealthy relationships. That all began to change when God got a hold of her heart.

"In California, we always kept our windows open, and you could hear how dysfunctional my home life was growing up," Lisa said. However, she put on a brave face and covered her shame about her home life and pretended like everything was ok. Later, she would end up in a crisis pregnancy, and that, too, she covered. 

Robin repressed her abortion for the first part of her marriage and after having two children. Everything rushed to the surface during a pro-life movie at church. She eventually ended up in a Surrendering the Secret Bible Study and received a deep healing. Later, she went to a Deeper Still retreat, which she said was very "life-giving". She has since written a book, "Abortion is Awful, but God is Awesome," and has recently started a podcast called "Coming out of the shadows of abortion."

Robin's family history of trauma and loss, then sexual manipulation by an older boss when she was sixteen, leading to abortion, set a pattern of giving herself away to men and more pregnancies and abortions. Even a boyfriend from a family of pastors urged her to abort two of his children when she got pregnant before marriage. Then, she had a life-changing encounter with God, and her life began to change.

Robin lost three siblings before the age of ten: her sister was murdered, and her brothers died in a house fire. She didn't have any answers to her questions about her fear of death after these losses. At sixteen, she was in the dark about how to handle the pressure of a boss who pressured her for sex. She also knew nothing about fetal development and dealt with the resulting pregnancy by having an abortion without parental consent. After the abortion, she hemorrhaged at home. Her mother called the ambulance, and she was hospitalized for two days. "I could have died."

Rick hid from his past pain for twenty-five years. Hiding from his past caused much destruction in his life, and he sought counseling. He finally told his counselor about the abortion after five years. He progressed through counseling, but his healing really took off after he went to a Deeper Still retreat.