Diamonds in Dumpster Fires

We all have ways of coping when life gets difficult. But what happens when the very things we turn to for comfort become the things keeping us stuck?

In this episode of Diamonds in Dumpster Fires, Melie welcomes author Andy Sterie, whose journey through alcohol addiction, rock bottom, and recovery became the inspiration for his book, Refined, Redeemed, Repurposed: Finding and Sustaining Meaning Beyond the Bottle.

Together, they explore why we cling to unhealthy patterns, even when we know they're hurting us, and how faith, surrender, and self-reflection can help us find lasting freedom.

But this conversation isn't just about alcohol. It's about the habits we use to escape uncomfortable emotions, from people-pleasing and perfectionism to overworking and the need for control. Andy shares how he learned to stop simply changing his behavior and start allowing God to transform his heart.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why unhealthy coping mechanisms can become part of our identity

• How to recognize when a seemingly harmless habit is actually keeping you stuck

• The power of pausing before making emotionally driven decisions

• Why accepting responsibility doesn't have to mean living in shame

• How setbacks can become opportunities for growth rather than reasons to give up

• The role of forgiveness, gratitude, and surrender in building lasting resilience

• How God can bring purpose and redemption out of even our most difficult experiences

Whether you're struggling to break an old habit, supporting someone through recovery, or simply feeling stuck in a pattern you can't seem to change, this conversation offers encouragement that your past doesn't have to determine your future.

Remember, resilient one: Your struggles do not define you, and change doesn't have to happen overnight. God is still at work in your story.

Book: Refined, Redeemed, Repurposed: Finding and Sustaining Meaning Beyond the Bottle

Book & Website: https://lifestreambooks.com

Instagram: @refined_redeemed_repurposed

Encore Episode: Sometimes the conversations worth having are also worth revisiting.

This week on Diamonds in Dumpster Fires, we're bringing back a conversation with Parfait Bassalé about the power of connection and what it means to move toward one another rather than away.

When life gets messy, it's tempting to retreat, build walls, or focus on what divides us. But resilience isn't just about what happens within us. It's also shaped by how we connect with others, extend grace, and make room for understanding.

Whether you're hearing this conversation for the first time or revisiting it, we hope it encourages you to approach your relationships with greater compassion, curiosity, and courage.

Because even in life's dumpster fires, connection can be a powerful part of healing.

Check out Parfait's website: https://parfaitbassale.com/

Diamonds in Dumpster Fires — Faith, neuroscience, and resilience for the real world.

How do you know when something is really finished?

After completing another round of revisions on my book, I found myself sitting with that question. The revisions are done—but does that mean the book is done? Maybe. Maybe not.

And life is full of things like that.

Relationships, dating, healing, career decisions, creative projects, and seasons of waiting don't always give us a clear finish line. Yet our minds crave resolution. Research suggests that unfinished goals can remain mentally active, taking up our attention even when we're trying to focus on something else. And our discomfort with uncertainty can make us want answers that simply aren't available yet.

In this short episode, we're talking about what it means to be done for now—and why sometimes the faithful next step isn't doing more. It's recognizing that you've done what you can and trusting God with what happens next.

We'll talk about:

• Why unfinished things tend to stay on our minds

• How making a plan can help quiet the mental pull of an unfinished goal

• Why uncertainty can be so uncomfortable

• What dating and book revisions have taught me about living without a clear ending

• The difference between giving up and being "done for now"

• What Psalm 119:105 can teach us about trusting God when we can't see the whole path

Think of something in your life that currently feels unresolved.

Ask yourself:

Is there actually something I need to do about this today?

Or am I trying to solve it because uncertainty makes me uncomfortable?

What would it look like to say, "For now, I've done enough"?

You don't have to know how the whole story ends to faithfully take—or stop at—the step that's in front of you.

Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path."

Want more practical tools to help you build emotional resilience through faith and neuroscience? Check out Renewed Mind:

https://www.renewedmind.app/

Masicampo, E. J., & Baumeister, R. F. (2011). "Consider it done! Plan making can eliminate the cognitive effects of unfulfilled goals." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(4), 667–683.

The researchers found that unfulfilled goals can remain cognitively active and interfere with unrelated tasks. Importantly, creating specific plans for pursuing those goals later reduced this cognitive interference.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21688924/

Carleton, R. N. (2016). "Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all?" Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 41, 5–21.

Carleton reviews research on fear of the unknown and intolerance of uncertainty and proposes that fear of the unknown may be a fundamental fear underlying anxiety.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27067453/

What do you do when your life doesn't look anything like you thought it would?

In this episode of Diamonds in Dumpster Fires, Melie welcomes back licensed minister, author, and Wild Goose Coffee founder Nathan Westwick for an honest conversation about disappointment, unanswered hopes, and the gap between the life we expected and the life we're actually living.

Nathan and Melie talk about what it looks like to grieve dreams that haven't happened without losing sight of the good that is already present. They explore why we don't always need to find a lesson or explanation for every painful experience, how the Psalms give us permission to be honest with God, and why surrender sometimes means releasing our preference for how life "should" look.

They also discuss the difference between contentment and settling, the importance of Christian community when we're trying to discern our next step, and Nathan's powerful reminder to choose presence over preference.

In this conversation, you'll hear about:

• How to navigate the gap between expectation and reality
• Giving yourself permission to grieve what hasn't happened
• Holding joy and sorrow at the same time
• Bringing disappointment honestly to God
• Why not every painful experience comes with a clear lesson
• The difference between contentment and settling
• How community can help us discern when to stay and when to move
• Remembering God's faithfulness when circumstances feel uncertain
• Finding moments of joy, play, and connection in difficult seasons
• Choosing presence over preference when life doesn't follow your plan

If you're in a season of wondering why your life hasn't unfolded the way you hoped, this conversation is a reminder that disappointment and hope can exist in the same place. You can grieve what's missing, appreciate what is here, and trust that God is still present in the middle of the story.

Connect with Nathan Westwick

Nathan's book: Clearing the Path: Connecting with God in a Cluttered World

Wild Goose Coffee

Nathan's website: Check out his resources and listen to the first few chapters of his book

Learn more about Diamonds in Dumpster Fires and find additional episodes and resources at diamondsindumpsterfires.com.

Birthdays often bring reflection, goal-setting, and questions about what we want from the year ahead. In this episode, I'm shifting the focus from what we want to accomplish to what we want to experience more of in everyday life.

We'll talk about cultivating more presence, joy, courage, depth, and grace, and how faith can help us live with greater intention instead of constantly chasing the next milestone.

If you're entering a new season, reflecting on another year of life, or simply craving a more meaningful way to think about personal growth, this episode is for you.

This week's episode is a little different—and that's exactly the point.

After starting a new job and facing an especially full week, I almost skipped recording altogether. Instead, I started thinking about the minimum viable version of showing up: the smallest version of a commitment that still keeps us connected to what matters.

In this short episode, we're talking about all-or-nothing thinking, changing capacity, and why scaling something down isn't the same as giving up.

If you're tired, overwhelmed, or feeling like you can't do things the way you normally would, this one is for you.

What if the hobbies you love aren't distractions from your spiritual life—but places where God is already meeting you?

In this episode, Melie talks with author Brianna Lambert about her new book, Created to Play: How Taking Hobbies Seriously Grows Us Spiritually. Brianna shares why play is more than a break from productivity and how hobbies can cultivate faithfulness, humility, creativity, connection, and a deeper sense of awe.

Brianna also tells the powerful story of watching her family's camper van—and much of the equipment that made their favorite hobbies possible—burn on the side of the highway. In the difficult weeks that followed, simple acts of play like swimming, walking on the beach, and collecting shells became unexpected places of comfort and healing.

Together, Melie and Brianna explore the guilt many of us feel when we do something simply because we enjoy it, the pressure to turn every passion into a business or measurable achievement, and the quiet ways hobbies can help us reconnect with joy during burnout, grief, trauma, and other difficult seasons.

They also discuss:

• How slow hobbies develop patience, persistence, and faithfulness

• Why play can help settle the mind in seasons of suffering

• How to discover a hobby when you don't consider yourself "crafty"

• Why you don't need to be talented—or even stick with something forever

• How to make room for play in small pockets of a busy life

• The value of learning new hobbies alongside friends or family

• How parents can encourage curiosity and creativity in their children

• Why our enjoyment of beauty, movement, making, collecting, and connection can lead us into worship

This conversation is an invitation to release the guilt, embrace curiosity, and pay attention to the activities that bring you delight. They may not be pulling you away from the person God created you to be. They may be helping you become more fully alive.

Connect with Brianna: https://briannalambert.com

Order Created to Play: https://www.ivpress.com/created-to-play

What if friendship could be more than a source of comfort—and become a powerful force for healing division?

In this episode, Melie talks with Parfait Bassalé, belonging strategist, conflict resolution practitioner, singer-songwriter, and author of The Way of Befriending. Together, they explore how fear, hurt, and past experiences can lead us to other people—and how courage, curiosity, and compassion can help us move toward one another instead.

Parfait also shares how friendship became a place of belonging throughout his life, why music is central to his work, and how ordinary acts of befriending can create meaningful change in our churches, workplaces, schools, and communities.

Connect with Parfait:

Website: https://parfaitbassale.com/

Purchase The Way of Befriending

Support Relume Candles: https://relumehope.com/

Connect with Melie:

https://www.diamondsindumpsterfires.com/

Subscribe, rate, and share with someone who might be encouraged by this conversation.

What if delighting in God is not about forcing joy, ignoring pain, or checking all the "right" spiritual boxes?

In this episode, Melie is joined by Stephanie Rousselle, Bible teacher, speaker, host of the Gospel Spice podcast, and author of the forthcoming book, Awaken Delight from IVPress. Stephanie shares her journey from atheism to faith, what it means to "taste and see" that God is good, and why delight begins with receiving God's delight in us.

Together, they talk about finding God's presence in painful seasons, the difference between wishful thinking and biblical hope, and how pruning and thorns can shape us without meaning God is punishing or disappointed in us.

If you are weary, overwhelmed, or struggling to believe God still delights in you, this conversation is a gentle invitation to stop striving and ask Him to awaken delight again.

In this episode:

What delighting in God really means Why God's love is not something you earn or lose The difference between checklist faith and relational delight How biblical hope holds us in painful waiting What pruning and thorns can teach us about hardship A closing prayer for awakened delight

Connect with Stephanie:

Gospel Spice Preorder Awaken Delight

Connect with Melie:

https://www.diamondsindumpsterfires.com/

Subscribe, rate, and share this episode with a friend who needs the reminder that even in the hard places, God's goodness is still worth tasting.

Sometimes the reason you keep saying "tomorrow" isn't laziness — it's your brain reaching for relief.

In this episode, Melie explores procrastination through the lens of faith and neuroscience, unpacking why avoidance often has more to do with emotion regulation than a lack of discipline. She also looks at how burnout, ADHD, and other forms of neurodivergence can make starting harder, and why shame usually keeps us stuck instead of helping us move forward.

If you've ever felt guilty for putting something off, this episode offers a more compassionate way to understand what's happening — and a simple invitation to take the next small faithful step.

In this episode:

Why procrastination is often emotional avoidance How the brain chooses short-term relief over long-term reward Why burnout can make task initiation harder A quick note on ADHD, neurodivergence, and executive function What Scripture teaches about diligence, rest, and grace A simple practice for taking the next small faithful step

Sources referenced:

Research from Fuschia Sirois and Timothy Pychyl on procrastination as short-term mood regulation, research on temporal discounting and procrastination, studies on burnout and cognitive function, and resources from the National Institute of Mental Health on ADHD.

Scripture referenced:

Proverbs 13:4, Colossians 3:23, Romans 8:1, Matthew 11:28, and Zechariah 4:10.

Connect with Melie:

https://www.diamondsindumpsterfires.com/

Subscribe, rate, and share with a friend who might need this encouragement today.