Poetry reading has been a great form of expression from 50's to 70's in the Western World. Beatnik poets used to travel to Paris and around Europe to seek for their cultural and family roots. Jack Kerouac's Mother was French. Those fellas used to meet in the Shakespeare & co library in Latin Quartier. It was a sacred place for intellectuals and book lovers like me. The place to be. Shop sellers spoke English in the middle of French Capital. The story says that I saw a phoenix tatoo in this coffee shop, next to the library, and I got a heart designed in my cappuccino. It was one of last visits from an Italian friend, before lock downs and restrictions. My book was half way and written in original language, Italian. That sign, the phoenix, enlightened me. I started to cultivate the idea that my book had to be translated as soon as I could, in English. The story continues......

Oh, you will read alot on Sinead O'Connor, on Wikipedia, and on gossipy newspapers. I will skip the religious buzz. I have been a fan of Sinead since I was a teenager. To be frank, I had lost her track until 2016, when she was missing in Chicago for 24 hours. My friend warned me: "Didn't you hear? she has gone mad". I went on the internet and found her video where she is showing her mental illness. She was not in a good place. I felt instant empathy for her. As bipolar teenager, I knew what she could have been through, but I wanted to know more. Her true story is about child abuse and torture. Her mother needed real help and Ireland was still unfamous in 90s for mental health care. Her true story tells about a wrong treatment for her mental health. She was finally not bipolar, but needed to heal her childhood trauma. I am fully confident that Sinead will be soon back on the stage, in 2021, and joining this amazing advocating community.

Today - on the Xmas Eve - I feel I need to put more personal stuff on my social media. A few years ago I have been penpalling with this guy from US correctional prison. He is sharing his sentence from his point of view. He was the first person I knew who opened up on HSP (Highly Sensitive person) after counselling with a correctional psychiatrist, deeply thinking, and self-observation of his growing up behaviour and personality development in the Stars and Stripes eighties. His letters were a punch in my stomach in the very beginning, my friend blamed him to be a pathological narcissistic and manipulative; I took a step backward and I finally decided to come out of judgement. His case was very similar to Michael Jackson's allegations. But I recommend you the movie "The Doubt" starring the divine Merryl Streep, if you want to dig deeper in the touchy topic of pedophilia and Church. Merry Xmas x

This Saturday I am introducing Samantha Horowitz, author of The silent fall: a secret service agent's story of Tragedy and Triumph after 9/11. I invite you to check out her interview on my post blog or Facebook First Responders 911 Podcast. She is sharing her experience of PTSD and how she got to know what PTSD were in the aftermath of 9/11, where she could escape from the basement, before the fall. I am also announcing the next action I will try on IG to support the Warrior Quest Usa in Orlando, Florida, and giving you some details why I've chosen this no-profit.

Is there any relationship between the terrorist groups from last century and today's suicide bombing? Which similarities? If we could defeat KKK ....can we get rid of these terror attacks in Europe? Which are the responsabilities of our Governements and what is missing here? Is there any Counterculture? Is there any spiritual leader speaking to reassure ordinary people?

Accepting to be traumatized is not simple. The first time that I heard the word "traumatisée" was one year and a half later than the unexpected events. I did not know much about PTSD. I did not consider that PTSD could apply to civilians or other than combat veterans and sexual assaults. I had the first symptoms like panic attack, hypervigilance and anxiety/anger outburst/sleep burnout months later. As I refer in the episode #2 The Joke, there were no tragedy; to be frank, in my head, that event was not relevant. What if I would have been caught in that other event of 13th November? Would I be here speaking?

After sabotaging my French Podcast (!), I have been collecting my ideas around Death Fear and Panic. Since the terror attacks are back in the news, in France, I made my choice to split completely the topics and move to serious staff like the Underworld and, uh, ghosts.... It's Halloween!!!!! Enjoy x

Get ready for roller-coasting

Thanks to a Law Enforcement Officer, named Badge Tony, today still active on service, I finally took courage to share my PTSD journey in France. This podcast is translated from "Dingue, derrière Mon Badge" which means "Nuts, behind the badge". It's meant not only for first-responders, or the veteran family, of course, instead it's beyond flags and uniforms. It's global and inclusive. Respect x