Common Sense Parenting with Pam

Disrespect to Respect: Transforming How Your Kids Talk to You


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Disrespect from children isn't just about bad manners—it's often about children struggling with big emotions, lacking skills to express themselves, or testing boundaries. When children talk back or roll their eyes, our response determines whether the behavior becomes a pattern or remains a passing moment.

• Children often show disrespect due to frustration, feeling powerless, or lacking tools to express themselves
• Kids model behavior they've seen from adults, siblings, or media
• Testing limits is part of children's development at every age
• Matching their tone or attitude only reinforces disrespectful behavior
• Lecturing during emotional moments is ineffective; save teachable moments for later
• Simple, clear responses work best: "I don't speak to you that way and expect the same from you"
• Give children a chance to try again with respect
• The "mom look" or silence can be more powerful than words
• Walking away shows you won't engage with disrespect
• Model respectful speech even when frustrated
• Praise respectful behavior when you see it
• Role-play scenarios to practice respectful disagreement
• Create and post family rules around tone and language
• Use natural consequences rather than punishment
• Always circle back when everyone is calm to discuss better approaches

Check out my show on YouTube called the Pam Show on my channel, Pamela Palanza, and visit my website pamelapalanza.com for more parenting resources.


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Common Sense Parenting with PamBy Pam Palanza