-What can we codependummies learn from an analysis of “Love the Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna? 

-What are some common themes touched on in the song that codependents tend to exhibit in toxic relationships? 

-What about songs like this encourage and enable our codependummy ways and how can we stop relating so much?

Welcome to episode 87! We are back with our DJ CODEPENDUMMY segment where we analyze, deconstruct, and look critically at a song dripping in codependent themes. This week, I’m discussing “Love The Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna. This song discusses topics of manipulation, intolerance of being separated, relationship withdrawal, and others which are commonly found in codependent relationships. You’ll hear me apply choice lyrics to a former codependent relationship in my past to help you better understand codependency in your own relationships.. I open up about ways that my ex and I were both deeply codependent. I hope that by sharing you feel less alone in your own codependency. 

Helpful links:

“Love The Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna - https://open.spotify.com/track/15JINEqzVMv3SvJTAXAKED?si=f17b742d0feb4894

DJ CODEPENDUMMY from December 2021: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dj-codependummy-part-i-love-me-by-the-cardigans/id1550681775?i=1000544066503

DJ CODEPENDUMMY from July 2021: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/codependummy-playlist-1-part-one/id1550681775?i=1000527846296

www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing - check out The Confiding Codependummy for just $1 a day for the next month (it’s $30 total). 

www.codependummy.com - check out the Self-Validation Challenge for free!

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC - help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link! 

More deets on this week’s episode:

We begin with our typical check in. It’s so important to check in girl!

We then begin our analysis of 4 lyrics and touch on four themes of codependency:

1. Intolerance: codependents are unable to endure separations (even in conflict)
2. Withdrawal: codependents undergo withdrawal (loss of appetite, restless, lethargic, disoriented, agony, etc.) when separated or a relationship ends
3. Violent fighting/ending: codependents may engage in explosive, vitriolic, and combative arguments which may involve emotional and physical abuse 
4. Manipulation: codependents attempt to control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously

I proceed to discuss the lyrics and themes while sharing anecdotes from a former relationship. 

You’ll hear me talk about the restlessness and agony I experienced when separated from my ex. 

I reveal just how manipulative I was while “not” talking to him but keeping tabs on him thanks to social media. 

I recall how my ex was also intolerable of separation which turned into him showing up at random which I perceived as romantic. 

In conclude with how, despite all the evidence of how toxic the relationship was, we continued to stay together as I “loved the way” he lied. 

To conclude, I discuss why this song, these lyrics, and this behavior is problematic. I then provide challenging statements to each of the lyrics discussed in an effort to demonstrate the ideals we codependiamonds ought to be working towards. 

Questions for you:

1. How do you relate to these lyrics? 
2. Where in your life are you burning and liking the way it hurts?
3. Where in your life are you crying and others are simply watching?
4. Do you have a relationship(s) where you love being lied to? Why?
5. What’s familiar about these relationships from previous dating relationships and those in your family?
6. How can you start to work towards no longer tolerating burning, crying, and lying in your relationships?

PLEASE R.R.S.S:

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If you’re needing more than just these episodes to combat codependency in your life, here are some additional options and resources:

-Get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing 

-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com 

-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email [email protected]

Support the show via a one-time secure donation: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC 

I will see you all next week!