When someone stings and anger rises there is one hugely liberating thing to do, don't think of what they’ve done but of why it’s stinging you. Don’t look outside at who is hurting you, look inside to why it hurts; how we are feeling says little about them and far more about us. It takes strength and courage to look and then accept your tender spots, but you can change the parts that are truly hurting, with everything you’ve got.