It's the idea that things are happening "to" you and that you lack any agency over your outcomes.

Basically, it's focusing on the things you can't control and blaming them for your circumstances.

This is in opposition to an "ownership" mentality where you focus on the things you CAN control, and doing everything in your power to succeed.

I've seen a lot of guys on a self-improvement journey gain the capacity to avoid "surface" victimhood where they are whining about things being unfair etc.

And don't get me wrong, this is definitely an improvement.

The problem is that some guys make the mistake of thinking that when they cut out the surface victimhood, they are done.

However, there is a DEEP form of victimhood which flies under the radar that is still extremely limiting but trickier to spot.

Here's a little test I've come up with to spot even this more subtle form of victimhood:

When you are in a state of challenge, simply ask yourself "What fantastic opportunity is this situation presenting me with?"

If even asking this question annoys you, pisses you off, or makes you roll your eyes - DING DING DING you're harboring victim energy somewhere deeper in your system.

If you think on the question and you can't come up with an answer, then sound the alarm because you're a victim to unconscious impulses.

Those impulses might even be GOOD, but if they are unconscious then you don't own them.

Every challenge is an unconditional opportunity for growth.

True ownership is universally anti-fragile.

You don't need to necessarily feel GOOD about what you're dealing with, you just need to be willing to consciously own the reality of the goods you are pursuing and the costs of their pursuit.

If you can't honestly embrace and own what you're doing, then you need to CHANGE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pretending this is easy.

But I'd argue it's way easier than living as a victim, that's for sure.

UYAP,

Mark Queppet

#MarkQueppet #UniversalMan #Masculinity #Coaching #Productivity #Integrity