I like dogs.

Hate dog owners.

I’m in this secluded spot, minding my own business.

A cute wee beagle appears, tail a-wagging.

I hear a woman’s voice, a plaintive wail.

I curse.

Go, I say to the dog, shoo!

The tail wags.

Inevitably the owner appears.

She shrieks at the scene.

I have no choice.

I strangle her, drop her into the hole beside Mr Johnson, whom I have been well paid to dispose of.

Sadly Lulu has to go in too.

Can’t have her sniffing around, can I?

Shame, because I like dogs.

Hate dog owners.