We have an uncanny ability to be highly critical of others and under critical of ourselves. In fact, if you listen to the normal chatter in the workplace, church, or neighborhood, you will normally hear a fair amount of analysis of other people and their lifestyle, decisions or personality. Of course, only those not there will be analyzed. This plays out in marriage as well where one spouse or both are critical of the other spouse. And the closer one knows another, the more areas they can be critical of. 

This is a trap. It is a trap of pride because we feel the right to judge others. It is a trap of focus because rather than focusing on our own issues we focus on the issue of others, which of course is more comfortable than dealing with our own stuff. It is a spiritual trap because the focus on others robs us of the appropriate focus on ourselves and bringing our lives into alignment with Christ’s. It is a trap because we have little ability to change what others do but full ability to change what we do. 

Jesus spoke to this trap in the Sermon on the Mount. “You look at the bit of sawdust in your friend’s eye. But you pay no attention to the piece of wood in your own eye. How can you say to your friend, ‘Let me take the bit of sawdust out of your eye’? How can you say this while there is a piece of wood in your own eye? You pretender! First take the piece of wood out of your own eye. Then you will be able to see clearly to take the bit of sawdust out of your friend’s eye. - Luke 6:37-42, NIRV

When it comes to judging and evaluating people, our first and most important focus should be on ourselves rather than others. Anything else is prideful hypocrisy, yet we do it all too often. David got it right in the Psalms when he would pray that God would evaluate and test his heart to see if there was any wicked way in him. His focus was first on his own heart and soul and a deep desire to see His life reflect that of God’s. 

Here is something to consider. What would happen if every time we thought or said something critical of others, we reminded ourselves that the focus should not be on them but on us first. Ironically, we are often critical of others for what we ourselves are guilty of. We project on them our own issues. Self evaluation is far more important than other evaluation. It is also more humble and real. It is easy to be critical of others. It is far harder to face our own truth.

Don’t get caught in this trap. Instead, be gracious toward others and more reflective of our own lives. We will be better for it, and please Jesus in the process.

Father. Please forgive me for the many, many times I have been critical and judgmental of others while ignoring my own stuff. Give me a gracious spirit toward others and a reflective spirit toward myself. Help me become more like you. Amen.