It's not a good thing to be cruel when we're angry, to say mean things, to be emotionally abusive... particularly if we don't actually mean what we're saying but are saying it because we want to lash out and hurt the person who we perceive has hurt us. Even worse is when we threaten divorce in the heat of anger. This creates a sense of insecurity in the relationship. It makes the other person not feel safe in the relationship. It makes them feel the love is not unconditional, that "till death do us part" is not to be trusted. And so the entire relationship suddenly is not to be trusted. Better to avoid saying hurtful things just because we have been hurt. Or to threaten divorce to manipulate the person to back down. Best, in general, not to be unloving when we're angry. It's not easy but it can be done. Stay calm. Stick to the facts. Don't call names. Don't threaten divorce. And, by the way, maybe it would be a good idea to get into coupes therapy.