The core idea is that certain folks appear standoffish or closed-off not because they're mean or ungrateful, but because their nervous system has been wired by past hurts to expect disappointment or betrayal. This creates a protective pattern:

• Their body language stays defensive (crossed arms, tight face).
• Their mind jumps to worst-case scenarios ("They'll let me down eventually").

••This isn't deliberate rudeness—it's a survival strategy learned from history.

Practical, grounded ways to start changing it (while keeping self-respect):

• Build trust incrementally—share one small thing, not everything at once.
• Focus on consistent actions over smooth words.
• Communicate needs directly instead of silent tests.
• Use boundaries as flexible "doors with rules," not total walls.
• When your brain predicts betrayal, check for current evidence vs. past echoes.
• Calm the body first (stress habits like breathing, movement) so decisions aren't fear-driven.

••Pick one safe relationship to practice in slowly—growth comes from repeated small, safe experiences.

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-you-may-have-trust-issues-and-how-to-overcome-them-5215390

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