Dream Brave

Ever felt triggered without knowing why?

Feel like your reaction is bigger than the incident and you're not sure why you're melting down?

Frustrated you keep getting pulled into the same patterns and dysfunctional relationships?

When I first came across Ron Yap's work on healing our Inner Child on social media, I knew I had to have him on the podcast…so I invited him from Tanzania, only to be pleasantly surprised...that he's Singaporean! 🇸🇬

This conversation was so good, I wish we were chatting over kopi and kaya toast instead.

In this episode, we talk about:

• why small triggers can feel so big
• what our inner child wounds are telling us
• how shame and guilt keep us stuck
• why familiar relationships do not mean they're safe
• how to gently approach the topic of su*cidal thoughts
• and how to access your inner hero—the future version of you who has faced it all and is still thriving

If you've ever felt like you're overreacting, or repeating patterns you don't understand—this one's for you.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes mentions of su*cide. Please listen with care and reach out for support if needed.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Dr. Wai-Jia Tam is a medical doctor and complex trauma survivor, but not a licensed therapist or mental health provider. Please seek qualified professional support for your specific situation where needed. Episodes may include sensitive topics such as trauma, abuse, suicide, grief, or spiritual harm. Please listen gently and at your own pace. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host.

Just seconds into our conversation, tears arrived.

In the darkest season of my life, K.J.'s writing was a lifeline. Our parallel crises in health and faith helped me feel seen — when my body was in pain and my faith felt fragile.

K.J. is a trauma-informed therapist, a Penguin-published author of four books, and someone who lives with seven chronic illnesses. Her wisdom is hard-won, forged through suffering rather than theory.

With her untamed and courageous writing, she refuses to censor pain into neat church formulas. Instead, she invites us to stay with suffering long enough for tenderness — and true joy — to emerge.

Her newest book, The Place Between Our Pains, was meant to be an exploration of joy — until her life nearly ended. What followed was medical trauma, parts of her body literally dying from the very treatments that kept her alive, and a reckoning that tested everything she believed about faith, suffering, and hope.

In this episode, we get a little nerdy about mushrooms — not for fun, but for the spiritual wisdom they offer about decay, nourishment, and why nothing is wasted.

We talk about:

• living with chronic illness, medical trauma, and religious harm
• faith that changes when pain doesn't resolve
• why bypassing pain also bypasses the cross
• foraging through our past to rediscover joy
• small glimmers that sustain us when hope feels too big
• prayer when you've lost the words

If you're in the place between your pains, this conversation is for you.

• What nervous system regulation is and why it's crucial to healing
• How to start regulating your nervous system
• Why listening to your body isn't weakness, but strength

This episode exists because a listener reached out and recommended Dr. Aimie Apigian's work — and I'm so glad they did.

Dr. Aimie is a double board-certified physician in Preventive and Addiction Medicine, with Master's degrees in Biochemistry and Public Health, and specialised training in Functional and Integrative Medicine. She is the founder of the Mind-Body-Biology Institute, where she trains practitioners worldwide using her Biology of Trauma® framework.

Her bestselling book, The Biology of Trauma, won 9 awards within its first two months of publication and is endorsed by Dr. Gabor Maté, who also wrote the foreword. What moved me most was her personal story — becoming a foster and adoptive mother while still in medical school, while navigating her own health crisis. That lived experience catalysed her groundbreaking work on how trauma is held not just in the mind, but in the body and biology.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why trauma is biological, not just psychological
• Stress vs trauma responses in the nervous system
• Freeze, stuckness, and chronic illness
• Why talk therapy alone often isn't enough
• Adrenaline, safety, and micro-steps toward healing
• The 3 levels needed for true healing: mind, body, biology

While our frameworks may differ — Dr. Aimie shares from trauma physiology and embodied healing rooted in medicine rather than a specific faith tradition — her insights have helped many people of faith better understand their healing journeys. As always, listeners are encouraged to take what is helpful, stay rooted in God's voice, and allow healing to unfold with both wisdom and agency.

Have you ever wondered, "Was what I went through really trauma?"

Or have you felt ashamed that therapy means your faith is weak? For years, I told myself what I went through wasn't bad enough to matter. Not war. Not abuse. Not the kind of "big T trauma" you read about. But then my body broke down—chronic pain, panic, tears that wouldn't stop. It was only when I began to understand what trauma really is—not the size of the event, but the wound left inside—that healing finally began. In this new episode of Tender & Wild, I sit down with psychotherapist Anya Charnaud, who brings over two decades of experience in the NHS and private practice, to unpack:

• What trauma really is (and isn't)
• Why Russian nesting dolls explain our inner child and reactions
• The "fishing net" analogy for triggers
• Why complex trauma is like a car alarm that won't stop blaring
• How faith and science can walk together in recovery

You are not alone. You are not too much. And you are not beyond healing.

Have you ever wondered: "Is therapy biblical?" "Is breathwork new age?" "Why do I still spiral even when I pray?"

These were honestly questions I wrestled with deeply too.

And the more I've learned about trauma, the nervous system and neuroplasticity over the past two years… the more in awe I've become of Scripture.

One of the people I've most loved learning from in this space is Jo Hargreaves—because she is one of those rare people who carries both deep biblical wisdom AND real neuroscientific and therapeutic depth with remarkable nuance and humility.

Jo is both a pastor and psychotherapist, and honestly, this conversation felt like such a gift to me personally.

Together, we explore:

• how prayer changes our brains and nervous systems
• the neuroscience behind renewing your mind
• if breathwork is actually "new age"
• practical tools to regulate spiraling thoughts and
• the difference between toxic positivity and biblical hope

For those of us trying to reconcile our faith with neuroscientific and nervous system regulatory tools, I hope it encourages you as much as it encouraged me.

At the peak of my life, my life ground to a halt.

I found myself in the ICU after major spine surgery through my neck. Back then, I was working a medical job, running a nonprofit, writing my book, preaching on weekends, clocking 20 miles a week, going to the gym once to twice a day, cooking all our meals from scratch… I FELT LIKE A MACHINE.

We'd made epic plans for me to quit work in a month, relocate to Tanzania in 3 months, and launch a brand new book in the States in 4 months.

Then everything changed.

The neurosurgeon told me I would not run, lift, or work like I used to for a very, very long time. And on the exact day I was supposed to return to normal living, my left knee meniscus was torn during physiotherapy.

During those months of rehab, I struggled with chronic pain — pain that not only escalated, but spread to my other arm, chest, and left me sleepless night after night. As the pain drained me out, I slowly lost the will to live.

But it didn't end there.

The harder part was not finding hope to recover from pain. It was failing to understand why I was spiraling from fear, grief, people-pleasing, performing, pushing through — and calling it faith.

In medical spaces, my pain was reduced to "just anxiety." In some spiritual spaces, my pain was called "lack of faith" or "all in my head."

But it was only through moving to Tanzania, stepping away from some unhealthy dynamics, and eventually discovering trauma therapy, that I realized: My pain had a story. And so did my body. That is how Tender & Wild was birthed.

This first episode is a glimpse of my story. And as the season unfolds, I'll be sharing some of the most tender parts of my life that I've never shared publicly before.

• How I slowly came to leave a spiritual community I had once called home for 18 years.

• How I disentangled faith from fear, honor from control, and submission from self-erasure.

• How complex trauma, emotional flashbacks, chronic pain and nervous system dysregulation are far more common than we think.

• How childhood wounds shape our reactions, relationships and lives more than we realize.

This season is for the one who has ever felt:

• your reactions feel larger than they "should" be

• exhausted from carrying baggage from childhood with no one to turn to

• uncomfortable in spiritual spaces but unable to pinpoint why

• hopeless and struggling with chronic pain

• physical or emotional

• challenged trying to reconcile faith with therapy, science with prayer, healing with agency

This is a season of conversations with experts, clinicians, survivors and thinkers from around the world — exploring trauma, chronic pain, spiritual harm, coercive relationships, emotional neglect, complex family dynamics, nervous system healing, faith, discernment and hope.

Some guests are Christians. Some are not. And that's intentional. My hope is to create a space where science meets soul, where psychology and faith can walk hand in hand, and where we gently untangle spiritual truth from spiritual twisting.

To anyone who has been scarred by family dynamics, disillusioned by those you trusted most or hurt by the church—I hope this space feels like an invitation. This isn't a substitute for therapy, of course. But it is a reminder that you are not alone. You can heal. You can trust God. And you CAN dream bravely again.

Join me and some of the most insightful voices from around the world as we explore what it means to break free from cycles of harm and rebuild lives that are both tender and wild. Because true healing is not a return to who you were before the pain. It is the audacious becoming of who you were always meant to be.

Welcome to Tender & Wild.

• how to keep going when doors keep closing
• the hidden cost of pursuing a dream
• what faith looks like when nothing makes sense
• why sometimes the bravest thing is simply to try again

One of the things I love most about this conversation is that it's not just an interview—it's a friendship. I still remember the first time I encountered Ee-Ling's work. I was preparing for a calligraphy exhibition and needed something elegant to wear. Someone recommended her brand, and I stepped into her store not expecting much…but walked out with something that felt like more than just an outfit. Over the years, Ee-Ling has become a dear friend. She's interviewed me, cheered me on, and even clothed me for some of my shows—once telling me she sees what she does as giving women armor before they step out to speak, to lead, to show up. And that's exactly who she is. Ee-Ling is the founder of The Missing Piece, a homegrown Singaporean fashion label known for its elegance, versatility, and deep sense of community. But more than that, she's a mother of three, a quiet woman of faith, and someone who has built her life not on ambition—but on obedience. In this episode, we talk about: — why she left her corporate career to become a stay-at-home mum — how her business grew organically without a blueprint — what it looks like to let God lead, even in the small decisions — and the quiet cost—and beauty—of choosing family over ambition If you've ever wondered what it looks like to build something meaningful without losing what matters most, this conversation is for you.