Dreaming Ourselves Alive

On waking up, grief as a practice, and finding wonder in a collapsing world. With Bob Bharij, hosted by Amel Murphy

What if the way forward isn't to imagine a better future yet, but to make space for grief first?

Bob Bharij is the co-founder of Foundation for Change, where he has spent more than two decades working with people recovering from addiction, trauma and social exclusion. This conversation asks what that work has to teach us about living through today's overlapping crises.

Amel and Bob reflect on the metacrisis, climate grief, trauma, capitalism, patriarchy and the importance of understanding the past before trying to create the future. They discuss waking up to ourselves through education, curiosity and embodied awareness, and why learning to recognise our body's signals may be the first step towards meaningful action.

From a silent retreat in the Italian Alps to the metaphor of dragging invisible balls and chains through life, Bob offers images that stay with you long after the conversation ends.

"They're not ready to reimagine. You know, there's still grieving that needs to take place, you know, there's still despair that needs to be felt." — Bob Bharij

Opening question: "What's alive for you right now?"

Returning from retreat: the metacrisis, grief and asking "How the hell are we here?"

Freeze responses, bodily awareness and why action starts with the body

Twenty-two years in addiction recovery: understanding suffering beyond substance use

Foundation for Change: rebuilding identity, purpose and hope through education

Why self-awareness begins with understanding the past

Wonder, curiosity and creating space away from constant distraction

The invisible "balls and chains" we carry through life

Capitalism, patriarchy and environmental collapse as connected systems

Why grief comes before reimagining the future; yoga as a practice for living with discomfort and joy

About Bob Bharij

Bob Bharij is the co-founder of Foundation for Change and has worked in addiction recovery, trauma-informed practice and adult education for more than twenty-two years. His work combines psychology, philosophy and feminist theory to help people rebuild identity, purpose and self-awareness after addiction and trauma. He is passionate about creating educational approaches that help people think critically about themselves and the world around them. He lives and works in London.

https://www.foundationforchange.org.uk/

About Amel Murphy

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

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What if pleasure is not a luxury, but one of the most radical forms of resistance we have?

Sexologist and educator Tanya Koens joins Amel Murphy to question what we've been taught about sex, pleasure and intimacy. Drawing on years of clinical practice, she argues that pleasure belongs to everyone, not just a privileged few.

Their conversation moves from shame, patriarchy and capitalism to consent, communication and desire. Tanya explains why intercourse is only a small part of sexual experience, why safety creates pleasure, and how learning to ask for what we want can change every relationship, including the one we have with ourselves.

Along the way she offers a simple invitation: become curious about what pleasure actually means for you.

"Pleasure can be an act of resistance." — Tanya Koens

EPISODE GUIDE

Opening conversation: how Tanya became a sexologist

Learning beyond traditional sex education

What it means to be a pleasure activist

Pleasure beyond sex: reclaiming the senses

Why intercourse is only five percent of the menu

Consent, communication and asking for what you want

Safety, shame and the social stories we inherit

Libido, stress and the realities of everyday life

Pleasure as resistance to patriarchy and capitalism

Closing reflections: curiosity, kindness and generosity

ABOUT TANYA KOENS

Tanya Koens (she/her) is a sexologist, counsellor and educator with more than two decades of experience supporting individuals and couples to build healthier relationships with sex, pleasure and intimacy. Her work combines anatomy, psychology, consent education and relationship coaching with a strong focus on reducing shame and increasing agency. She is a regular media commentator, speaker and the founder of Pleasure Love Relating. Tanya lives on Bundjalung Country in Australia, where she continues to teach, write and advocate for pleasure as a human right.

https://www.pleasureloverelating.com

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel Murphy is a senior facilitator and leadership coach with over 20 years of experience working across Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and Europe. Her work is inclusive, body-based, and trauma-informed. She is lead faculty on the Nature Leader programme at Common Purpose. Amel speaks English, French, and Arabic.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

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Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

What if the future depends less on finding new answers than remembering what we already know?

Farzana Khan is Executive Director of Healing Justice London, a social sculptor and writer whose work brings together collective healing, movement building and cultural organising. In this conversation she reflects on the practices that help us stay in relationship with ourselves, one another and the living world.

Amel and Farzana talk about remembrance as a practice, what it means to become prayerful without dogma, and why shaping social change begins with listening rather than certainty. They discuss multiple rhythms instead of constant urgency, collective power without domination, and conflict as something that belongs to a community rather than an individual.

Farzana ends with a simple invitation: become more prayerful and more playful.

"Sometimes I say to myself, we choose to fight when we could play."; Farzana Khan

Episode guide

Opening question: what is the medicine we each carry?

Prayerfulness as a way of meeting this moment

Social sculpting: shaping what is longing to emerge

Listening beyond certainty and individual will

From polycrisis to polyrhythms

Repair, transformation and remembrance

Four capacities for healthy movements and communities

Belonging beyond systems of power

Prayerfulness and playfulness as practices of change

Farzana's closing seed: remember what you already know

About Farzana Khan

Farzana Khan is Executive Director of Healing Justice London, a social sculptor and writer working at the intersection of healing justice, collective liberation and cultural organising. Her work supports movements, organisations and communities to develop the conditions for collective care, conflict transformation and shared power. She is a long standing organiser whose practice is rooted in political education, spirituality and social change.

https://healingjusticelondon.org

About Amel Murphy

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

Stay Connected

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

What if the systems we've built our lives around aren't simply breaking down? What if they're dissolving, making space for something new to emerge?

Topher Wilkins has spent over twenty years creating conditions in which changemakers find each other, trust each other, and build something together. In this conversation with Amel, he explores what that actually takes; not conferences, not networking, but human beings in circle, being real with each other.

The image at the heart of it: when a caterpillar enters its cocoon, it doesn't grow wings. It dissolves completely into cellular soup. In that dissolution, tiny liminal cells carrying the blueprint for the butterfly find each other. Only then does something new begin to form.

Topher thinks we're in that moment now. The question he leaves every listener with: which liminal cell are you?

"We don't have to be engineered. We have to be weaved."

EPISODE GUIDE

Who Topher is: father, husband, community architect

The death of his mother and the community she built without realising it

What belonging actually requires, beyond inclusion or good intentions

Why circles beat stages: the unconference model

Cellular soup: metamorphosis as a map for this moment

Which liminal cell are you? Finding your blueprint

Mycelium: the power of invisible connectors

The not-for-profit sector and its complicated relationship with capitalism

Hook your destiny to theirs

ABOUT TOPHER WILKINS

Topher Wilkins is CEO of Opportunity Collaboration and Connective Impact, a community architect with over twenty years of experience at the intersection of transformative hospitality, intentional community, and global social impact. He builds spaces where leaders move beyond networking into genuine relationship. He lives in Santa Cruz, California, with his wife and three sons.

Opportunity Collaboration: https://opportunitycollaboration.net Connective Impact: https://connectiveimpact.org LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/topherwilkins/

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Got a story for this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

On courage, healing and owning your story. With Caren Wakoli, hosted by Amel Murphy.

What does it actually take to come home to yourself — and what have you been running from in the meantime?

Caren Wakoli is a storyteller, poet and founder of Emerging Leaders Foundation in Kenya. In this conversation, she speaks from a place of hard-won aliveness: a life shaped by poverty, loss, the courage to build something without funding, and the slower work of learning to own all of it.

This is a conversation about living with intentionality rather than motion; about the difference between surviving and inhabiting your life. Caren reflects on five years without a single donor, the letter she wrote to God when she hit the wall, and what healing looks like when you stop treating it as optional.

"If we don't do the work to heal ourselves, we end up bleeding on people who never cut us in the first place."

EPISODE GUIDE

On courage Not bravery as performance, but the daily practice of facing what you would rather avoid.

What the inner work birthed The fellowship that cracked her open; the little girl she found inside; how authenticity arrived not as a gift but a choice.

The dream The vision of dignity behind Emerging Leaders Foundation, and Caren's personal mantra: live fully, love unreservedly, serve selflessly.

Five years without funding, fifty proposals. Responses demanding bribes and sex. How Caren said no, and what kept her standing.

Storytelling as seed On shame, poverty and the moment Caren realised her story was not something to hide but something to tell.

ABOUT CAREN WAKOLI

Caren Wakoli is a Kenyan leadership practitioner and founder of Emerging Leaders Foundation, nurturing values-driven young leaders across Africa since 2012. She works at the intersection of dignity, healing and human development, drawing on her own journey from poverty to purpose. She is currently writing a book about storytelling, healing and building institutions on values.

LinkedIn: https://ke.linkedin.com/in/carenwakoli | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/caren.wakoli.96/ | www.elfafrica.org | https://ke.linkedin.com/company/emerging-leaders-foundation

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs here? Tell us — we read every message.

Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

​​On light as practice, being beyond doing, and the hidden world beneath the visible. With Sander Tideman, hosted by Amel Murphy

What if the light you are searching for is not something to find, but something you are?

Sander Tideman is a leadership practitioner, scholar, and author of Triple Value Leadership, working at the intersection of inner development and real-world systems. This conversation matters because it challenges the assumption that change comes from effort, rather than perspective.

He and Amel speak about light not as metaphor, but as lived practice; what it means to lose it, return to it, and carry it in turbulent times. They explore the tension between doing and being, why the “core” is not a destination, and how leadership may be less about control and more about illuminating what is already present. The conversation moves between neuroscience, meditation, and lived experience.

At one point, Sander suggests that even a few minutes with a tree, a sky, or a passing cloud can reveal a hidden reality most of us overlook.

"Once you see that possibility, immediately there is more energy." — Sander Tideman

EPISODE GUIDE

Opening: Sander on storm, place, and being a seeker in the world Spiritual longing and practical life: law, business, and leadership The dream of reducing suffering; choosing the side of the light Light and shadow: meditation, awareness, and naming the elephant Childhood, nature, and early experiences of light The turbulence of mind: waves versus the ocean The core is not a destination: shifting perspective rather than effort Being versus doing: stepping out of the cultural narrative Leadership as light-bearing: beyond hierarchy and control The hidden world: attention, awareness, and what reveals itself Sander’s closing seed: sit with nature; even a moment changes perception

Sander Tideman is a leadership practitioner, scholar, and author with decades of experience working across business, academia, and inner development. His work bridges spirituality and leadership through his framework of Triple Value Leadership, supporting individuals and organisations to integrate purpose, performance, and inner awareness. He has worked internationally across sectors including finance, consulting, and education. Sander lives between Utrecht and Amsterdam, often working from his houseboat and spending time in nature.

https://sandertideman.com

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine. www.embodied-beings.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

On the school that wraps itself around the child, why governance is an act of love, and the question every school must ask itself every day.

What it means for every child to flourish? With Kavita Anand, hosted by Amel Murphy

Kavita Anand is an educator, systems leader, and social entrepreneur with over 40 years of experience working across schools, governments, and learning systems. This conversation matters because it questions one of the most accepted structures in society; schooling itself.

She and Amel examine how education systems prioritise control, standardisation, and adult convenience over curiosity, meaning, and individuality. Kavita reframes behaviour not as a problem in the child, but as a signal of the system around them. They discuss what it would take to build schools that adapt to children, rather than children adapting to schools.

A simple image grounds the conversation; a garden where trees give fruit freely, raising the question of why human systems struggle to do the same.

"If you are only consuming it, I don’t see you learning anything. If you learn to create it, then you are learning something." — Kavita Anand

EPISODE GUIDE

Opening: Kavita as a lifelong learner; the question that drives her work The urgency of now: how do we live together and allow every child to flourish School as a global rite of passage: one system for many different children Classrooms as conformity: rows, standardisation, and the loss of individuality What a good school looks like: meaning, curiosity, and being seen Systems thinking in practice: behaviour as a response, not a problem From hierarchy to collaboration: students, teachers, and leaders learning together Scaling change: from individual schools to government systems Technology and learning: consumption versus creation Kavita’s closing seed: governance as an act of nurturing

ABOUT KAVITA ANAND

Kavita Anand is an educator, researcher, and systems leader with over 40 years of experience working across education in India and internationally. She is the founder of Adhyayan Quality Education Services and the Adhyayan Quality Education Foundation, focusing on whole-system school improvement and self-review frameworks. Her work spans partnerships with governments, large school networks, and global education initiatives. Kavita lives in India and continues to work closely with educators and systems leaders to reimagine what a good school can be.

https://adhyayanfoundation.org/

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine. www.embodied-beings.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

On anger as liberation, the difference between survival and freedom, and why personal transformation and social change are the two beats of the same heart. With Staci Haines, hosted by Amel Murphy.

What if healing alone will never be enough? And what if the anger you were told to manage is actually one of the most life-giving forces you carry?

Staci Haines has spent over three decades working at the intersection of trauma healing and social transformation. This conversation brings those threads into direct contact.

She and Amel speak about why we remain vulnerable to domination, how survival patterns shape our politics, and what it takes to build real agency. Staci draws a clear distinction between healing and liberation, and why one without the other is not enough.

They return again and again to the body; to anger as a life-giving force, and to the deeper longing for connection, dignity, and collective freedom that lives underneath it.

“Anger is a natural fuel with which to redignify ourselves.” — Staci Haines

EPISODE GUIDE

Opening and Staci’s guiding questions: systems, bodies, and power

Why we are vulnerable to domination: safety, belonging, and survival

Healing versus liberation: the difference and why both matter

Early conditioning: how systems shape what we practise without knowing

Embodiment as a path; returning to the body as a site of liberation

The “I” and the “we”; personal healing and collective responsibility

What we inherit and what we must transform

Anger as life force; boundaries, dignity, and saying no

Working with anger in practice: moving energy through the body

Closing seed; following the longing for wholeness and liberation

ABOUT STACI HAINES

Staci Haines is a somatics practitioner, organiser, and educator with over 30 years of experience working at the intersection of trauma healing, embodied leadership, and transformative justice. She is the founder of generative somatics and co-leads the Outer Work Project, supporting people to connect personal transformation with organised social change. Her work focuses on building individual and collective capacity for liberation. Staci is based in the United States.

https://generativesomatics.org/

https://www.outerworkproject.org/

https://www.stacihaines.com/ https://generationfive.org/

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message.

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On reverence, the story big enough to make a difference, and why those who struggle to belong may be the ones the world needs. With Gaye Donaldson, hosted by Amel Murphy.

What does it mean to belong to life itself — not just to a person, a place, or a community?

Gaye Donaldson is a systemic constellation practitioner and teacher whose work has been shaped by a lifelong inquiry into belonging. Adopted as a baby, she has spent over thirty years following that question through whole system agriculture, health, and human systems.

She and Amel speak about belonging not as a concept but as something lived; through family systems, ancestry, and the wider field of life itself. They trace a shift from competitive individualism towards interdependence, and what it asks of us now; including the capacity to stand at the edge, between belonging and not belonging.

At the centre of the conversation is a return to reverence; right place, right size, right relationship with the earth, and the quiet trust that life itself is generative.

"Systemic constellation work, in essence, is about finding the story that's big enough to make a difference." — Gaye Donaldson

EPISODE GUIDE

Introduction; belonging, systems, and reverence for life Gaye’s path; agriculture, homeopathy, and systemic constellation Adoption as origin; the question of belonging across a lifetime Holding the unanswered question; depth, cost, and meaning Interconnected systems; from soil to human relationships The collective shift; the end of competitive individualism Edge dwellers; those who can bear not quite belonging A return to reverence; right place, right relationship with the earth What is missing; the unseen and the space around things Life wanting life; transgenerational resilience and continuity Capacity and the horses; belonging beyond the human Closing seed; you can be small and still held

ABOUT GAYE DONALDSON

Gaye Donaldson is a systemic constellation practitioner, teacher, and co-founder of the Centre for Systemic Constellations. Her work spans over thirty years across whole system agriculture, homeopathy, and systemic constellation, exploring how human lives are shaped by interconnected systems and ancestral patterns. Her practice is grounded in the question of belonging; its absence, its cost, and its eventual return. Gaye lives in the UK, where she spends time each day with her herd of Icelandic horses.

https://www.thecsc.net/

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

. www.embodied-beings.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message. Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.

On collective intelligence, creating your own seasons, and the islands of hope already taking shape.. With Catalina Cock Duque, hosted by Amel Murphy.

What if the biggest crisis of our time isn’t climate or conflict — but the false sense that we are separate?

Catalina Cock Duque is a Colombian systems thinker and social innovator working across peacebuilding, bioeconomy, and youth leadership.

She and Amel speak about what it takes to bring people together across deep divides; from former enemies to institutions and communities. Catalina describes how real change takes root; not through top-down solutions, but through collective care, shared agency and deep reconnection

She shares stories of young people rebuilding their communities, and the discipline of choosing where to place attention when the world feels overwhelming.

“Our biggest crisis is that deep level of disconnection from ourselves, from others, and from nature.” — Catalina Cock Duque

EPISODE GUIDE

Introduction and Catalina’s work in Colombia

From social entrepreneur to weaver; connecting people and systems

Responsible mining and Ecoflora; business as regenerative practice

The crisis of separation; starting with the self

Collective intelligence; creating conditions for shared insight

Human connection before solutions; former enemies in dialogue

Burnout and the fractal model; inner and outer change

Creating your own seasons; rhythms of work and rest

Islands of hope; attention and what we choose to see

Young changemakers; action without resources

Closing seed; the future as something we weave

ABOUT CATALINA COCK DUQUE

Catalina Cock Duque is a Colombian systems thinker and social innovator devoted to regenerating the social fabric. Her work spans peacebuilding, responsible economies, youth leadership, and bioeconomy, bringing together communities, institutions, and business to build regenerative systems. She is co-founder of The Weaving Lab and a board member of Ecoflora. Catalina lives in Medellín, Colombia.

Fundación Mi Sangre https://fundacionmisangre.org/ Alliance for Responsible Mining / Oro Verde https://www.responsiblemines.org/ Ecoflora https://ecofloracares.com/ The Weaving Lab https://weavinglab.org/ Documentary (DW TV) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHyqRPWoaiU

ABOUT AMEL MURPHY

Amel is the founder of Embodied Beings. She grew up between cultures, and it was the body, not the book, that first taught her what belonging feels like. For over twenty years, she has worked at the intersection of personal healing and collective change, supporting leaders, communities, and changemakers to come into right relationship with themselves, each other, and the world around them. This podcast was born from that inquiry, and from the belief that stories, told honestly, are medicine.

www.embodied-beings.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelmurphy

STAY CONNECTED

Share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Know someone whose story belongs in this podcast? Tell us; we read every message.

Music by HappinessInMusic from Pixabay.