It’s time to trade ghost stories for dress uniforms. In this episode, Jason and Hailey dive into the pomp, pageantry, and pure chaos of Fork Union’s most formal traditions—military balls, parades, and ceremonies.

From the once-a-year dance with its Arch of Sabres and “hotness contests,” to cadets sneaking off during the ball and hiding in the racquetball courts, nothing was ever as polished as the school wanted it to look. Then there were the parades—hours in the blazing sun, cadets passing out from locked knees, and guest speakers nobody really wanted to hear.

And of course, the everyday ceremonies: retreat, forced football games, rowdy cheering sections, the infamous “tall socks” tradition, and Coach Fletcher’s war on slam dunks.

It’s a look at the side of FUMA where spit-shined shoes met sweaty reality—and where cadet ingenuity always found a way to bend the rules.