I can feel the neurons
like racing stripes
peripheral to each
hemisphere of my mind,
pulsing, circuit electrons
firing down from back to front
lining like drag racers down
the insides of my morning skull,
pulling me, pulling me
forward, onward, towards
my next so desirous move.
I can feel the motor of my mind
running on the ignition of dopamine,
rewarding me for my positive action
to keep this, this, this thing
moving, moving along.
It’s not compulsive. Braking, breaking
all of yesterday. It’s not harmful,
revving, not revving — idle,
idling that low background hum
to say, “Ready. When you are.”
But it’s ready. It’s engines on,
it’s stuck in gear,
it’s clutch engaged
it’s eager fear
that when you ease on off
to re-engage
the immediacy of
more inches made
towards the doubt I have,
but the joy so felt
to drive on toward
what life has dealt.
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