Drum & Feather Podcast

Ah, Halloween, my favorite night of the year.  A holiday based around whores and candy?  SIGN ME UP!!!  Tim and Jake work through their impending Diabetic comas long enough to bring you a rousing hour of halfhearted Ute commentary and 1/4 hearted jokes.  Join this week as we debate whether Utah's milk-money stealing performance against Cal was the best Utah defensive performance of all time (RECENCY BIAS, HOORAY!), celebrate Zack Moss' record setting night, and become the last two guys in the state to praise Tyler Huntley's toughness.  It's been 5 years--you think we would be better at this!!!

My grandfather was a truck driver for 49 years.  And for all 49 of those years, his CB call handle was "Beaver Teaser".  He even had a cartoon beaver drawn on the front of his truck.  Why am I telling you all of this?  To prove that my grandpa is 500 times cooler than your grandpa.  And, because having the mascot of your favorite football share a nickname with a term for a woman's vagina would be the worst.  Like, if the New Mexico Lobo's suddenly changed their names to the New Mexico Tacos.  Or the Syracuse Orange changed their name to the Syracuse Pink.  It's just kinda funny.  And, if you don't agree you are an uppity asshole.  GO UTES!!!

Utah once again puts the "Loss" in Los Angeles.  Oh, you don't like that pun?   Well, start your own fucking podcast and make your own shitty puns.  Or, pipe down, pour yourself an ice cold Miller High Life, throw a couple of taquitos into your microwave, and let Tim and Jake's withering disappointment wrap around you like a fleece blanket on a cold winter's night.  I know I have a heart, because mine is now broken.

After a much needed week off, Jake and Tim return to brighten your day with their room-temperature takes on the Women's Suffrage Movement of 1920, while further titillating your well-larded minds with their ever-inventive use of needless profanity.  They then turn their attentions to the saggy diaper that has been the 2019 Utah Game Day Experience thus far, before shooting a steaming hot load of preview for Utah's forthcoming tussle with USC (O.J.'S alma mater!).  As Joel Osteen once said, "Life's too short to spend it trying to keep others happy."  This show may as well have that tattooed on it's fucking forehead.  GO UTES!!!

In this week's episode, Tim and Jake do their level best to lovingly recreate the Jesse Spanos' "I'm So Scared" speed pill breakdown from Saved By The Bell, before having a frank discussion about beating yourself, and how many times you are allowed to beat yourself before you have to schedule a meeting with your Bishop.  Then we turn our laser focus to this week's contest against the Huskies of Northern Illinois in the Easy Bake Oven that is Rice Eccles Stadium in early September.   Cowards need not apply.

We always say that our shows are mediocre.  But, this time we really mean it.  If you have nothing else on Earth to do for the next 58 minutes, and are dying to hear two mediocre people talk mediocrely about Utah Football, then you should listen to this.  This is certainly not the Popeye's Chicken Sandwich of Ute podcasts.  Hell, if we are being honest with ourselves, this is probably the Carl's Jr chicken sandwich of Utah podcasts.  But, you know what, I bet a Carl's Jr chicken sandwich would taste pretty good to a starving man.  GO UTES!!!

Many moons have passed since last our dulcet tones hath crested your wanton ears.  Jake and Tim return from a month-long hiatus to celebrate (insert DJ Khaled gif here) ANOTHER ONE over the always-enthusiastic cougars of brigham young.  After what feels like several hours of humble-bragging, we drill down on the Utes rematch with the Washington Huskies in this Friday's Pac 12 Championship Game (man, I will never get sick of saying that phrase), before taking you on a journey through the fetid sewers of filth that we call the Viewer Mailbag.  And, since we are trying to be a more responsible and informative podcast from here on out, Jake and I would like to remind you to get out and vote on Tuesday, November 6th.

Tim and Jake cap off the best month in Utah Football history with a historically mediocre podcasT chock full of lewd references and vague threats.  Marvel at our unnecessary use of the dreaded F word!  Be astounded by our complete lack of decorum!  Stand mouth-agape at our willful disregard for human decency!  And be gobsmacked by another filth-riddled Weekly Mail Bag! 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

7 days with this podcast makes one weak.  21 days without this podcast makes one weaker than Larry Scott's officiating excuses.  The Dastardly Duo are back at long last to celebrate what many people are calling the best month in Utah Football History.  Because people love making ridiculous statements to make themselves sound smart.  Come to think of it, that's pretty much how this podcast started.  Anywho, join on this sordid journey as we break down the how and why of this recent hot streak and turn our steely gaze to the this week's contest versus the Bruins of UCLA.

Come jump aboard the Straight Talk Express as Tim and Jake perform a post-mortem examination on, what many experts are calling, potentially the worst Saturday in the history of mankind.  Or don't.  We honestly don't give a shit.  We are just here to bitch about the Utes and make cheap puns and sophmoric references to male anatomoy.  And, quite frankly, if you aren't down with that we got two words for you--BUY MERCH!!!!

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