Introduction: Minutes 0 to 6:00 We changed our plans and will be taking off next week for Easter. Our next episode will be out April 23rd. I’m learning how to play pickleball but am confused about the scoring. Chandra mentions the Fast Four rules in tennis. Serena Williams’ tennis coach Patrick Mouratoglou has announced he’ll train Simona Halep. Royals: Minutes 6:00 to 17:30 Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie were part of a fraud case involving their mom and dad. Eugenie defended her payment of £25,000 by saying she thought it was for her mom’s birthday party. Beatrice received £750,000 for her wedding, which was during lockdown in July, 2020. She didn’t issue a statement like Eugenie but a source told the DM “She knew nothing about this, poor thing.” We think Charles’ fingerprints are all over this news.  There are still stories about the Cambridges moving to Windsor and that they’re looking for estates there. Chandra thinks they’re going to keep Kensington Palace apartment one and Anmer Hall. We don’t know where they’ll move yet, but they’re likely putting out feelers seeing which property Charles and the Queen will give them. Meanwhile we’re still getting analysis of the Cambridges’ ridiculous Caribbean tour and of The Queen bringing Andrew with her to Philip's memorial. The Queen and Prince Andrew think Andrew can make a comeback and they’re obviously focusing on that. As soon as the Queen dies Andrew will be out of sight. Duchess Meghan posted a sweet letter to the animal rescue organization, Mayhew, for which she was a patron for three years. Mayhew announced that Meghan was no longer a patron as of January. Meghan’s letter referenced her dog Guy’s “debilitating accident.” Guy’s two legs were broken in a mysterious incident in 2017 after Meghan moved to the UK. I play a segment from Zoom where we talked about the royals. Chandra thinks it was Meghan’s idea to step away from Mayhew. Ghosts: Minutes 17:30 to 25:30 We shared some creepy ghost stories in episodes 16, 34 and 71. Vanessa Hudgens was just on the Kelly Clarkson show. She said she’s been able to communicate with spirits since she was little and that she’s learned to accept it and tune into it. I mention the show Surviving Death which had convincing ghost and reincarnation stories. Chandra mentions the Unsolved Mysteries episode about the 2011 tsunami in Japan. Chandra has had more runins with spirits than me. Her stories are in episodes 16 and 34! Chandra is a Hindu and believes in reincarnation. She wonders if her dad has come back. Comments of the Week: Minutes 25:30 to end Chandra’s comment of the week is from Kalana on the post about Prince William’s temperament. My comment of the week is from outoftheshadows on the post where Paula Patton responded to the controversy over her bad fried chicken recipe. Thanks for listening bitches!  

121: Duchess Meghan's sweet letter to Mayhew, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie named in lawsuit, Ghost stories

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Introduction: Minutes 0 to 8:00 I saw an alligator with her babies when I was in Florida. Chandra’s cat captured a chipmunk who looked dead but then escaped. I watched Fallout on Amazon Prime, Files of the Unexplained on Netflix and a mystery horror show on MGM+ called From. Chandra watched The Idea of You and Dune 2. Royals: Minutes 8:00 to 26:00 We still haven’t seen Kate. William was asked about Kate and their kids earlier this month and he said “we’re all doing well.” A fashion designer who dresses the children said in an interview “I think they are going through hell, I hope they will be back.” When The Times reported on Prince Charles’ visit to a cancer center on April 30th they included the detail that Kate “is expected to be away from public duties for some time.” There’s no timeline for when she might return. William is on the cover of this week’s People Magazine. He’s the focus and center of the story, with very little details about how Kate and the kids are doing. There’s a narrative that any questions about Kate’s condition are “bullying” and mean to her, when it’s more about the messaging around her illness. Anyone who points out the fake photos and videos the palace has been putting out are somehow hurting Kate according to their narrative. We wonder when the international press will start to call them out. Harry went to the 10th year anniversary service for Invictus at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London on Wednesday and got a rock star reception. Harry’s relatives on his mother’s Spencer side were out in full force, but none of the Windsors came. They held a garden party at the same time because they’re just that petty. We heard that Harry requested ahead of time to see his father but was told Charles was too busy. Harry’s spokesperson issued a simple statement about that. Richard Kay reported that “there had been no formal request from either the King or his son to schedule a meeting.” Royal commentator Charlotte Griffiths suggested the meeting fell through because Harry didn’t want Camilla in the room when he met Charles. Kay also reported that Harry didn’t request housing. Camilla has been leaking like crazy. They also announced a military honors event in which Charles will officially hand off Colonel-in-Chief of the Army Air Corps to William. They made the announcement about William getting that title last year, but this is a made up handover event to try to pull focus from Harry. The Army Air Corps is Harry’s regiment with which he served two tours in Afghanistan. The Sussexes have been invited by the Nigerian government to visit. As we were recording, the news had just come out that they would arrive the next day, Friday. The British envoy in Nigeria has admitted he had no idea about the visit and is not involved in scheduling. Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef: Minutes 26:00 to 37:00 Drake had been trying to bait Kendrick for months before he finally responded with some of the most epic songs in rap battle history. We talk about the BBL Drizzy phenomenon, starting with the King Willonius song and evolving into Metro Boomin’s BBL Drizzy challenge. After Drake’s cheap shot at Kendrick, Family Matters, Kendrick dropped Meet The Grahams and then Not Like Us, which is breaking records. After that Drake released The Heart Part 6 in which he tells on himself and reveals that he doesn’t understand Kendrick’s lyrics. There was a shooting at Drake’s house recently and one of his bodyguards was injured. Drake has feuds with so many people in his industry. Meghan Thee Stallion’s HISS is likely about Drake. Comments of the Week: Minutes 37:00 to end Chandra’s comment of the week is from PaddingtonJr on the post about Harry at the Invictus anniversary service. My comments of the week are from MrsFonzieFace, K and Eowyn on the post about Robert F Kennedy Jr. having a dead worm in his brain. Thanks for listening bitches!

173: Prince Harry looked like a king at the Invictus service, Kendrick Lamar's beef with Drake

Introduction: Minutes 0 to 6:00 I met our Celebitchy Zoom group in person! I talk about my friend’s tiny dog. Chandra had an encounter with a Great Dane. Royals: Minutes 6:00 to 24:00 Our last episode, #171, was two weeks ago. We had just seen the video of Princess Kate revealing that she had cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy. We were hit with over a hundred comments from new accounts all saying variations of the same thing right after that video was released. Christopher Bouzy has called out the bots on Twitter. The NY Times published an article in early 2020 about the then-Cambridges buying Instagram bot followers. In podcast #170 we talked about the Mother’s Day frankenphoto. Major photo and news agencies issued a kill order for that photo. In light of that, and the very bizarre and obviously not Kate market video released by the Sun and TMZ, some people have questioned the video of Kate announcing her cancer. We wonder what’s happening and Chandra has no theories. The video was filmed by BBC studios and we haven’t heard many details about it. There were thinkpieces in the Washington Post and the NYT about the conspiracies. Getty images put editor’s notes on the photo and video and refused to comment further about it. Last week one of the biggest royal stories was about how the Middletons are so broke they didn’t even pay the insolvency firm that restructured their business, Party Pieces, when they sold it and went into bankruptcy. It’s clear that the press has been given the go-ahead to go after the Middletons. There were multiple stories about this. Uncle Gary’s appearance on Celebrity Big Brother underlined that the Middletons are broke. The British press always invents some new thing the Sussexes have to go to. There’s a ceremony for Invictus’s anniversary in May in London. England also wants to host Invictus in 2027, but hopefully Harry will not fall for that. Charles is also said to have invited the Sussexes to Balmoral this summer. Other major stories are about how the monarchy is now way too slimmed-down and how Beatrice and Eugenie need to be working royals to pick up the slack. We’re also hearing BS about how Meghan supposedly got between Kate and Harry because they were so close before Meghan came around, which sounds like royal fan fiction. Harry wrote in Spare that he barely saw William and Kate. Harry has a wife whom he adores and this storyline is offensive. I like what Chandra wrote about the press in her piece about Peter Philips being unlucky in love. The palace comms departments are quiet and the royal rota has been left to make up storylines. We also heard that William was seen at a pub in Norfolk with Carole Middleton! Comments of the Week: Minutes 24:00 to end Chandra’s COTW is from Brassy Rebel on the post about Beatrice and Eugenie covering Hello. My COTW is from Samuel Whiskers on the post about loofahs harboring bacteria. Thanks for listening bitches!  

172: Princess Kate's cancer announcement video draws skepticism and bot defenders

Introduction: Minutes 0 to 5:15 We will be off for a couple of weeks due to Easter. I watched Dream Scenario on HBO with Nicolas Cage. He’s a great actor but I don’t recommend it. I really liked The Map of Tiny Perfect Things on Amazon. It reminds Chandra of The Summer I Turned Pretty. She’s been watching Tennis but her favorite, Daniil Medvedev, didn’t win Indian Wells. Royals: Minutes 5:15 to 22:45 Over the weekend we got a cover story in the Sun that Kate was seen out shopping with William at a farmer’s market. Then on Monday we saw a super grainy faraway video where the person supposed to be Kate is kind of bouncing around carrying a large bag. The woman in the video didn’t exactly look or walk like Kate. Assuming that was Kate, it reflects poorly on the Waleses because she hasn’t done any events since Christmas. Also, if that was Kate in the photo in the car with her mom, her face has since thinned out. After TMZ published the video of Kate at the farmer’s market, their executive producer said he wasn’t sure it was her. There’s still fallout from the Frankenphoto too. Before we got the whole fake Kate video, Kensington Palace did a sourced story with the Times of London again explaining that Kate edited that photo, that she feels bad about the fallout and that she’s just trying to make her family look good. The quote that really stood out is where they called out the press agencies for noticing how janky that photo was. As Obama’s photographer Pete Souza said on Instagram, there’s a difference between adjusting the lighting or cropping a photo and pasting in different people. The royal rota tried to accuse Harry and Meghan of editing their photos, but the photographers, Misan Harriman and Chris Allerton, said that wasn’t true. Part of the Frankenphoto fallout is that the wire agencies are reviewing all the photos ever submitted to them by Kensington Palace. One photo that’s particularly bad was released after the Queen’s death on what would have been her 97th birthday in 2023. It shows her at Balmoral on a couch with a bunch of her great grandchildren posing around her. That was obviously cobbled together from several photos. Getty added an editor’s note that “the image has been digitally enhanced at source,” and Reuters has announced that it’s “updating its procedures related to vetting images from Kensington Palace.” Another really janky photo featuring the great grandchildren was released after Philip died. As we talked about last week, there’s renewed interest in Prince William’s alleged 2019 affair with Rose Hanbury. Rose’s lawyer went on the record to Business Insider last weekend to say the rumors are false. Other pundits are also defending her. Chandra thinks that the affair has been over a while. As part of the fallout from that, people have noticed stolen Qing Dynasty artifacts in family photos taken of Rose and her husband, David Rocksavage. We talk about the $10 million brooch that Camilla wore for an outing, which seemed meant to troll Kate. Buckingham Palace, Prince Charles and Camilla’s office, seems pleased that Kensington Palace, Kate and William’s office, is screwing this up so badly. They don’t understand that it reflects poorly on them too and that most people don’t get the distinction. Meghan has announced her new lifestyle brand, it’s called American Riviera Orchard. I will definitely buy what she’s selling and so will so many other people. So far she has just shown the logo and they have a one page website with an email signup. We also heard this week that three hospital staffers are under investigation for trying to access Kate’s medical records at the London clinic where she was treated. Kate’s cancer announcement: Minutes 22:45 to 27:30 We recorded this section on Friday after Kate made the announcement that she has cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. Hopefully she is OK and will make a full recovery. Comments of the Week: Minutes 22:45 to end Chandra’s comment of the week is from ML on the post about Archie’s Christening pics being called out incorrectly for edits. My comment of the week is from Olivia on Rosie’s post about Kevin James losing 60 pounds by not eating for 40 days. Thanks for listening bitches!  

171: Princess Kate announces cancer diagnosis

Introduction: Minutes 0 to 1:00 We were off due to the Oscars! Royals: Minutes 1:00 to 27:30 The royals' mistreatment of Harry and Meghan is finally boomeranging back on them. It’s been obvious to us what’s happening but now the world is finally noticing. Harry and Meghan were explaining their situation to the casual royal watchers with their docuseries and with Spare. It was about 70 days after we last saw Kate before we got the first alleged photo of her. That was the photo supposedly taken of her on Monday March 4th in an Audi with her mom, outside Windsor Castle. TMZ and other US outlets bought that exclusive photo. There were questions about its authenticity. Kensington Palace said it was not an authorized photo. KP also put a lot of pressure on British media to not publish the pic and it was mostly in the US outlets like TMZ. Assuming it was real, it really seems like Carole and the Middletons arranged it. On March 8th, Meghan was in Austin at South by Southwest for a scheduled panel discussion. She made some really measured comments about the hate she got when she was pregnant. A lot of the negative stories about Meghan when she was pregnant were from William trying to deflect from his affair with Rose Hanbury. I think that the frankenphoto release was meant to pull focus from Meghan’s comments at SXSW and Chandra says that it could have always been the plan. We got a new photo supposedly of Kate and the kids from Kensington Palace on March 10th, Mother’s Day in the UK. They claimed that William had taken the photo. The picture looked really janky. The news outlets noticed this and issued a “kill order” for that photo. The palace was asked to provide the original photo and they refused for hours on Sunday. I play a clip of AFP News director Phil Chetwynd talking about this. CNN has also announced that it’s reviewing all the photos issued from Kensington Palace. The Palace then posted a tweet supposedly from Kate claiming that she was the one who edited the photo. This spawned so many memes and AI photos.  Experts told major news outlets that the errors were due to a photo editing app. People showed that her head was cut and pasted into that photo from her 2016 British Vogue cover. Chandra thinks the original photo of Kate and the kids is from last fall. The palace tried to double down and continue to blame Kate. They ran a story in The Times of London Tuesday claiming that Kate just wanted to release a nice picture, she feels bad about it, and she edited it because she just wanted her kids to look good. We got a third photo supposedly of Kate on Monday March 11, in a car with William and looking away. That photo looks fake too! I even saw a video on Twitter where someone thinks they have the exact older image of Kate that was used. The photographer vouches for it though. Assuming the photo is real, we can’t even verify it’s her. Chandra think it’s someone else. As this eas making international news, Colbert did a segment on Tuesday night about William’s affair with Rose Hanbury. Remember that William tried to shut that story down back when it broke in March of 2019. Colbert even made a reference to William getting his mistress pregnant!  We know that the palace is livid about this because the Telegraph ran a story about it and said The Late Show didn’t warn the palace that they were going to run that segment. The British media regularly does this when they cover the royals. The Guardian did a summary of Colbert’s opener and in their initial story they included Rose’s name but then they edited it out! Even the royal-friendly journalists and outlets were calling William and Kensington Palace out about it! Camilla went on vacation last week, supposedly due to being under strain and fighting with William. Charles was seen on Wednesday at a photo op at Buckingham Palace. Chandra is surprised that Buckingham Palace hasn’t taken a side on this PR disaster either way. William is in no way ready or suited to be king. Comment of the Week: Minutes 27:30 to end Chandra’s comment of the week is from Cerys on the post where the DM questions whether they can trust anything that comes out of Kensington Palace. My comment of the week is from Little Penguin on the Best of the Oscars post. Thanks for listening bitches!  

170: Princess Kate's Frankenphoto compared to North Korean propaganda

Sign up for our mailing list There are mailing list signups on the last few podcast posts on our site, accessible through the podcast link at the top of our menu. Thank you! Introduction: Minutes 0 to 7:30 The Oscars are next weekend so we won’t have a podcast unless something huge breaks. Since we last talked Chandra and I both saw American Fiction, that was my favorite. Chandra liked it but wanted it to focus more on Issa Rae’s character. She thought The Zone of Interest was very disturbing, but loved Poor Things. She is also watching Capote vs. The Swans and loves the performances. If Emma Stone takes home the Oscar over Lily Gladstone, Chandra is fine with that. Royals: Minutes 7:30 to 29:00 In our last podcast we mentioned Charles’ cancer diagnosis and Kate disappearance following abdominal surgery. Kate has not been seen in over 60 days. A Kensington Palace spokesperson gave a snotty statement about it to Page Six that did not reveal much. Their PR is so terrible. On February 15th the Sussexes made a three day trip to Canada to do events ahead of next year’s winter Invictus Games. Harry had an interview with Good Morning America. The Sussexes also launched Sussex.com and Meghan got a podcast deal with Lemonada media. They’re getting positive coverage apart from silly criticism. Harry was also criticized for answering questions about visiting his father. At first we heard that William, who is BAFTAs president, was not going to attend the BAFTAs on February 18th. That’s pretty typical for him. However after Harry and Meghan got so much press for their Canada trip, he announced that he was going. A photo went viral where William was talking backstage to actresses, including Ayo Edebiri and Phoebe Dynevor, who were looking at him skeptically. It turned out that Prince William had made a very inappropriate comment to Mia McKenna-Bruce about her movie. He was very unprepared to meet the actresses and admitted to not having watched any of their films. On Tuesday the 20th, William issued a statement on the Middle East crisis, which no one was asking him about. William was scheduled to visit the British Red Cross and could have just issued a statement about their work instead. On Thursday, February 29th, William went to an event at a synagogue in central London to discuss anti-Semitism. Kate was originally scheduled to go with him to that event. We remember when Kate did an event with Holocaust survivors in 2021 in which she was engaged and charming. After William’s statement on the Middle East and after he looked drunk at an investiture ceremony, Piers Morgan published a story about how William has been drinking wine since he was 13. On Tuesday February 27th there was a memorial service in London for King Constantine II of Greece, who passed last January. Neither Charles nor William went to the funeral in Greece in 2023. Charles announced ahead of time that he would not make it to this memorial. William was scheduled to give a reading, but canceled less than an hour before. It became international news. At the service were Camilla, at the head of the procession to the church, and Prince Andrew and Fergie were also upfront. Also there were Prince and Princess Michael of Kent. She’s a notorious racist. The Kents’ son-in-law, Thomas Kingston, passed away at just 45 in Gloucester on Sunday. His death was not announced for two days and his in laws went to that memorial service before the news got out. The press announced that William’s absence at the memorial wasn’t due to Thomas’s death. Meanwhile there are all these stories about how the monarchy is fragile and the cracks are showing now. The way the Waleses have bungled their own PR is astounding. Here’s a link to the story Chandra mentioned from The Daily Beast. Comments of the Week: Minutes 29:00 to end Chandra’s comment of the week is from Walking the Walk on the post about Harry losing his case over royal protection while in the UK. My comment of the week is from Christine on the post about the Willy Wonka kids experience in Scotland. Thanks for listening bitches!

121: Duchess Meghan's sweet letter to Mayhew, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie named in lawsuit, Ghost stories

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