If we were to believe abusers and toxic people, then enforcing boundaries is the most selfish act in the world; personal boundaries should be outlawed, and anyone who even considers enforcing them should be hanged for their crimes. But are boundaries really selfish?

- Boundaries are not just about saying no

- Boundaries create the shape of our personal world

- Boundaries communicate our wants and needs

- Boundaries will not scare people off (at least not healthy people)

- Boundaries also allow intimate connections