Welcome to the third annual NoVampber! As usual, we're hanging out with vampires all month long, and kicking things off is our revisiting of a pretty notoriously bad vampire experience: 2004's Van Helsing! Join us as we discuss the journey of sunburnt Wolverine and his CG loincloth on their quest to accomplish... almost nothing, aside from severing Flesh Shrek's arm and creating openings for the tale's real hero: Carl. We also share a nice batch of trivia, read some real goofball reviews, and for a film that does not star Emilio Estevez, spend a surprisingly long time talking about Emilio Estevez.

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Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!