Talk with a counselor. I did. When a joyous moment falls in your lap, don't be so bitter and broken you can't jump in with both feet and enjoy it. This day was good, because it was allowed to be. Also, doing a podcast, during a divorce that your soon-to-be-ex doesn't know about, while she's home more than she has been in five years is hard. Another reason to look forward to being set free.