The Ugly Duckling Diary

E69 - The Story of Aubrey Cole and Captain Crazy


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In this episode of the Pint-Sized Healing Podcast, Mags talks with fellow SwanWaters team member Aubrey Cole about her experience of living in an abusive relationship for 25 years, how she left, and what she has done to help other survivors since. 

Main Take-Aways

• When you enter into an abusive relationship, it doesn't begin as obviously abusive. It generally begins as a subtle crossing of boundaries that eventually lead to more extreme abuse

• Gaslighting (causing someone to doubt their own perception) makes a person easier to trick and control

• Monopolizing someone's perception (when an abuser insists you see things the way you do) is a form of emotional abuse that makes the target feel they aren't entitled to their own opinions

• Leaving a domestic abuse generally situation requires you to set up an exit strategy before trying to leave because it can take up to 7 attempts to leave

Resources mentioned:

• Bodies in the Basement

• Preparing Your Escape from Abuse

• The Beach, My Soul, and My Shame

• Listening to Shame | Brené Brown

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The Ugly Duckling DiaryBy Mags Thomson