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Newly released from their hospital beds, the EC pensioners were persuaded to face the might of Blue Stilton CC. 
Leaving their guide dogs at the door and supported by the (relative) youth of Captain Ahab and New recruit Steve Gouda, they were shown to the tables. ‘Remind me how a knight moves Gouda', wheezed Gorgonzola George. Shocked by a surprise e4, he moved the first pawn his shaking hand met, the c pawn, and exclaimed, ‘Oh dear, I’ve never played the Sicilian before’. 
Oldbutfit John, squinting through his cataracts, tried to remember whether White or Black moved first. 
Captain Ahab tried to complete the results card for the league, but several players said they could not remember their result. Oldbutfit John, discovered at the nearby Pawn and Pestle, couldn’t even remember taking part.
Captain Ahab filled out the form saying every player won, and posted it to the League Secretary, which led to the headlines which shocked the Chess World ...

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