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Elephant in the Room (Suicide Prevention Series)
Show Notes:
We are continuing on with our series on suicide prevention for First Responders and Front Line Workers in the workplace. In today’s episode we’re talking about how to name the elephant in the room and really identify the risks of suicide within front line workplaces. I know that it can feel hard and uncomfortable to confront this topic – we can find it difficult to look it in the eyes. I’ve talked to so many people about this and consistently what I hear is this: we’re afraid of naming it, because naming it makes it real, and if it’s real, we might discover that we can’t handle it. And what would happen then? The wheels would fall off. It would all fall apart. We might fall apart. And we can’t risk that, so we keep that elephant in the corner, acting as if it’s not there, because that somehow seems safer. Meanwhile, people are dying. People you know. People who you share something in common with. …So is it really safer?!
During this episode I mention a couple of statistics and research articles – you’ll find links to them here if you want to take a closer look:
- The Ruderman Family Foundation white paper report here.
- Paramedic PTSD rates here.
- Stats on trauma, PTSD and suicide (not mentioned in this episode but helpful) here. Additional article here.
How to support suicide prevention in the workplace:
1. We have to start by doing the very hard thing of calling out the big fat stinking elephant. Putting it in the corner isn’t helping anybody, and it may actually be putting everyone at higher risk. We can’t change problems that we can’t identify – naming the issue is the biggest step we can take toward making it different.
2. Next, we need to help other people name it too. One of the most significant barriers to seeking support around mental health concerns and suicide risk is, you guessed it, STIGMA. We fear that people will judge us, think less of us, be afraid of us, reject us, or a host of other fears. We need to work at cultivating conversations that help people know that we are safe to talk with, and work to build safe communities within our workplaces…yes, even when, or ESPECIALLY when, the overarching workplace dynamic is hostile or dysfunctional. Bringing up mental health and suicide can be uncomfortable, but the more you do it the more normal it becomes. And modelling this gives permission for others to do the same – it sets an example that we can grow more openness and gesture care for each other by bringing up the hard topics. Note that those afraid that naming suicide promotes suicide – this has been debunked repeatedly in the research. The truth is, asking the question shows you care to ask a hard question. It shows someone who might be struggling to feel worthwhile that they are worth it enough for you to be uncomfortable asking about their safety and their needs. Talking about suicide does not increase suicide. It opens the issue to allow people who might be headed that direction to feel seen, heard, known and valued – resulting in less risk, not more.
3. Knowing what variables tend to increase risk for suicide can be valuable as you assess yourself and the risk for those around you. Check out the handout I created for workplaces to support navigating suicide risk prevention by clicking here and snagging the pdf – it offers a good quick-reference guide to prompt you through what pieces to look for, questions to ask, and steps to take. Search Behind the Line Lindsay and then go to our podcast page to access the show notes to snag this resource.
4. Recognize barriers to support and help to circumnavigate where possible. The truth is, there are a lot of barriers to support. Stigma is among them but not the only factor that limits people from connecting with the support they need to find a way out of the dark holes we can feel caught in. For many, the cumulative stress that leads to mental health concerns that then dig us into the dark hole leaves us without the energy or the sense of resources to be able to seek out the support we need, or the energy to access it even if we know where to go and what to do. On top of that, resources themselves can be few and far between – particularly right now, we are facing a practical shortage in accessibility to physicians, psychiatrists, counsellors, mental health programs and so on. In our own clinic, we have seen our prospective client intake emails nearly double month over month since early this year as a result of the ongoing pandemic and related stress and anxiety. The reality is that it can be hard to find professional support with availability – often facing really long waitlists – and it can be challenging to find someone who feels like the right fit. There can also be practical barriers, like finances, transport, childcare, hours of availability clashing with shift schedules, and things like that. It can make the complexity of getting help so much harder in reality than it might seem like to an outsider of the situation.
Finding the energy to traverse these many hurdles when already feeling caught in the dark hole place can feel insurmountable. Having close people offer to help make phone calls, bridge to supports, and get a foot in the door can be a huge help. These gestures of practical support, while valuable in scaffolding to professional support, is actually even more valuable in gesturing care to someone who feels hopeless. It becomes emblematic of the hope that continues to exist in the world, and this can mean more than you know to someone who is caught in it. If it’s you that’s caught in the dark hole, while I know that it can feel impossibly difficult, reach out and let someone in your life know that you’re struggling. If you can, be clear about what kind of help you would find helpful – what can they do to meaningfully support where you’re at right now?
5. Be a beacon of hope. Let’s remember that more often than not, people aren’t committing suicide because they want to die. More often than not, people are committing suicide because they can’t see a way out of the dark hole. They feel like death is the only way to escape how complicated, hard and hurtful the world can be. Or, they feel like death is the one thing they can control on a life that feels too far out of control to rein in. The common tale of suicide is despair, disconnection, helplessness and hopelessness. When we see this story being lived out, in someone we know or in ourselves, what is the need? The need is hope. The need is to feel empowered in our lives. The need is connection and care. The need is to be seen, heard, known and valued. The need is practical sometimes, digging out of tangible constraints that feel like they can drown people – support navigating bankruptcy, divorce, the loss of a loved one, and so on. The need is to have others show up to fight alongside, offering the glimmer of hope that I’m not alone in the battle.
There are all kinds of ways we can work to support needs like thi...
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By Lindsay Faas
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Show Notes:
We are continuing on with our series on suicide prevention for First Responders and Front Line Workers in the workplace. In today’s episode we’re talking about how to name the elephant in the room and really identify the risks of suicide within front line workplaces. I know that it can feel hard and uncomfortable to confront this topic – we can find it difficult to look it in the eyes. I’ve talked to so many people about this and consistently what I hear is this: we’re afraid of naming it, because naming it makes it real, and if it’s real, we might discover that we can’t handle it. And what would happen then? The wheels would fall off. It would all fall apart. We might fall apart. And we can’t risk that, so we keep that elephant in the corner, acting as if it’s not there, because that somehow seems safer. Meanwhile, people are dying. People you know. People who you share something in common with. …So is it really safer?!
During this episode I mention a couple of statistics and research articles – you’ll find links to them here if you want to take a closer look:
- The Ruderman Family Foundation white paper report here.
- Paramedic PTSD rates here.
- Stats on trauma, PTSD and suicide (not mentioned in this episode but helpful) here. Additional article here.
How to support suicide prevention in the workplace:
1. We have to start by doing the very hard thing of calling out the big fat stinking elephant. Putting it in the corner isn’t helping anybody, and it may actually be putting everyone at higher risk. We can’t change problems that we can’t identify – naming the issue is the biggest step we can take toward making it different.
2. Next, we need to help other people name it too. One of the most significant barriers to seeking support around mental health concerns and suicide risk is, you guessed it, STIGMA. We fear that people will judge us, think less of us, be afraid of us, reject us, or a host of other fears. We need to work at cultivating conversations that help people know that we are safe to talk with, and work to build safe communities within our workplaces…yes, even when, or ESPECIALLY when, the overarching workplace dynamic is hostile or dysfunctional. Bringing up mental health and suicide can be uncomfortable, but the more you do it the more normal it becomes. And modelling this gives permission for others to do the same – it sets an example that we can grow more openness and gesture care for each other by bringing up the hard topics. Note that those afraid that naming suicide promotes suicide – this has been debunked repeatedly in the research. The truth is, asking the question shows you care to ask a hard question. It shows someone who might be struggling to feel worthwhile that they are worth it enough for you to be uncomfortable asking about their safety and their needs. Talking about suicide does not increase suicide. It opens the issue to allow people who might be headed that direction to feel seen, heard, known and valued – resulting in less risk, not more.
3. Knowing what variables tend to increase risk for suicide can be valuable as you assess yourself and the risk for those around you. Check out the handout I created for workplaces to support navigating suicide risk prevention by clicking here and snagging the pdf – it offers a good quick-reference guide to prompt you through what pieces to look for, questions to ask, and steps to take. Search Behind the Line Lindsay and then go to our podcast page to access the show notes to snag this resource.
4. Recognize barriers to support and help to circumnavigate where possible. The truth is, there are a lot of barriers to support. Stigma is among them but not the only factor that limits people from connecting with the support they need to find a way out of the dark holes we can feel caught in. For many, the cumulative stress that leads to mental health concerns that then dig us into the dark hole leaves us without the energy or the sense of resources to be able to seek out the support we need, or the energy to access it even if we know where to go and what to do. On top of that, resources themselves can be few and far between – particularly right now, we are facing a practical shortage in accessibility to physicians, psychiatrists, counsellors, mental health programs and so on. In our own clinic, we have seen our prospective client intake emails nearly double month over month since early this year as a result of the ongoing pandemic and related stress and anxiety. The reality is that it can be hard to find professional support with availability – often facing really long waitlists – and it can be challenging to find someone who feels like the right fit. There can also be practical barriers, like finances, transport, childcare, hours of availability clashing with shift schedules, and things like that. It can make the complexity of getting help so much harder in reality than it might seem like to an outsider of the situation.
Finding the energy to traverse these many hurdles when already feeling caught in the dark hole place can feel insurmountable. Having close people offer to help make phone calls, bridge to supports, and get a foot in the door can be a huge help. These gestures of practical support, while valuable in scaffolding to professional support, is actually even more valuable in gesturing care to someone who feels hopeless. It becomes emblematic of the hope that continues to exist in the world, and this can mean more than you know to someone who is caught in it. If it’s you that’s caught in the dark hole, while I know that it can feel impossibly difficult, reach out and let someone in your life know that you’re struggling. If you can, be clear about what kind of help you would find helpful – what can they do to meaningfully support where you’re at right now?
5. Be a beacon of hope. Let’s remember that more often than not, people aren’t committing suicide because they want to die. More often than not, people are committing suicide because they can’t see a way out of the dark hole. They feel like death is the only way to escape how complicated, hard and hurtful the world can be. Or, they feel like death is the one thing they can control on a life that feels too far out of control to rein in. The common tale of suicide is despair, disconnection, helplessness and hopelessness. When we see this story being lived out, in someone we know or in ourselves, what is the need? The need is hope. The need is to feel empowered in our lives. The need is connection and care. The need is to be seen, heard, known and valued. The need is practical sometimes, digging out of tangible constraints that feel like they can drown people – support navigating bankruptcy, divorce, the loss of a loved one, and so on. The need is to have others show up to fight alongside, offering the glimmer of hope that I’m not alone in the battle.
There are all kinds of ways we can work to support needs like thi...