In this powerful and deeply personal 93rd episode of No Hair, All Heart, Mookie Spitz sits down with Ely Winkler, the Director of Advancement at Eshel, an organization devoted to LGBTQ+ inclusion within the Orthodox Jewish community. Their heartfelt conversation cuts through theology, tradition, and identity with candid honesty and unexpected joy.

Ely shares his remarkable journey from being the rabbi’s son in a Modern Orthodox New Jersey synagogue, to coming out at Yeshiva University in 2009, to becoming one of the leading voices for inclusion and reform within a world that still struggles with acceptance. Mookie brings his trademark mix of empathy and wit as they dig into the biblical roots of exclusion, the interpretations of Leviticus, and how faith and tolerance can not only coexist but strengthen each other.

Together they explore...

• How Eshel builds bridges between LGBTQ+ Jews and Orthodox institutions through education, advocacy, and community-building.
• The tensions between tradition and modernity, and why arguing over God’s will is actually a very Jewish thing to do.
• The unique struggles of trans Jews navigating Orthodox spaces — and Eshel’s groundbreaking idea of the “tri-chitza,” a third prayer-space for non-binary and gender-nonconforming people.
• How the trauma of exclusion mirrors Jewish history itself — and why inclusion isn’t just moral, but existential for the survival of Judaism.
• The post–October 7th reality for Jews worldwide, and how unity and compassion have become not just ideals but survival mechanisms.

Their wide ranging and passionate conversation isn’t just a theological debate, but a human story about return, reconciliation, and resilience. Ely’s life becomes a metaphor for the broader Jewish diaspora: leaving home, finding oneself, and coming back not in shame, but in strength. As Ely puts it, “There’s no downside to inclusion — only a stronger, more fabulous community.”

Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of how identity, faith, and belonging collide, and how organizations like Eshel are quietly reshaping one of the world’s oldest religions from the inside out.

The Guest

Ely Winkler is the Director of Advancement for Eshel, serving Orthodox+ LGBTQ+ Jews, their families, and communities. He is the proud son of a modern Orthodox Rabbi from New Jersey, and currently lives with his partner in Brooklyn, NY. Since coming out of the closet at Yeshiva University, Ely has been an advocate for strengthening the Jewish future through LGBTQ+ inclusion, first by working in Jewish day schools and yeshivot, and now by bringing awareness, developing resources, empowering allies, and expanding LGBTQ+ belonging within Orthodox Jewish communities through his work with Eshel.

The Organization

Eshel's mission is to build LGBTQ+ inclusive Orthodox Jewish communities. Eshel envisions a world where LGBTQ+ people and their families are full participants in the Orthodox community of their choice. We work towards this goal through four pillars: community building for LGBTQ+ people and their parents, advocacy to the broader community, supporting each other, and educating our Rabbis, institutional leaders, and friends. 

Learn more: www.eshelonline.org
Support Eshel's Work: www.eshelonline.org/support-our-work/
Orthodox LGBTQ+ Jewish Support: https://www.eshelonline.org/support/ 

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