Embody That Shit

What if you're not settling? What if you're just scared?

Or what if you are settling.. and you've just gotten really good at talking yourself out of leaving?

I asked those questions for two years of my marriage.

And for most of the seven years with Oscar.

And this is the story of how a search for a skate park..

A poem I could only half understand..

A rock I couldn't see the top of..

And an answer from beyond that I believed way more than I should have..

Led me somewhere I could have never gotten otherwise.

Missed Episode 1? Find out what happened when I finally said the one thing I swore I'd never say.. to a man who'd already moved on. Plus, get a sweet-ass tool that'll help you open up to the love you've always wanted.

Listen to Episode 1

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Ready to stop going around in circles? love, hold the cheese is an 8-week immersion into the patterns running your relationships, so you can finally stop asking "should I stay or should I go?" and start enjoying love in a whole new way, regardless of your relationship status.

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For seven years, I told myself real commitment didn't need to be part of my relationship.

He proposed repeatedly.

It felt delicious to feel so desirable, especially after divorce.

But not delicious enough to give up my freedom, my independence, or my belief that I was above all that cheesy love shit.

Then the relationship ended. I was fine.

For about two weeks.

This episode is what happened when reality sunk in.

The patterns I had no idea I was running..

The guidance that told me to say the one thing I never wanted to say..

To a man who'd already moved on..

And a conversation that involved a lemonade, a box of marbles, and me looking for the nearest exit.

It gets messy. It gets humbling.

And it showed me that side-stepping commitment was never about freedom at all.

This is that story.