Today I learned that I have to embrace growing pains. A couple days ago I was really bummed that I was about to move out. Yesterday I went to see the place where I will probably be renting and I still feel the same way. The place wasn’t bad at all. It was clean, quiet, and orderly. But it wasn’t home. My brother or my mom wasn’t there. My comfortable bed wasn’t there. The neighborhood I grew up in and the people I knew weren’t there. It felt hallow and isolated. I kinda get nervous thinking about how I will live there. I moved out before but only a couple blocks down the street. I could always just walk home if there was any issue. But now the place where I will be living is not so close to home. I can’t just walk back home if there is a problem I can’t solve. I can understand my behavior now when I was younger. I was just too terrified to man up and ship out. I was afraid that the world wouldn’t accept me and I would be isolated. That scared me so much that I decided to better stay at home and pursue something with a high proabability for failure. If I failed I failed but if I succeed then the world would accept me and their would be a nice place for me outside my mom’s house. Because I choose to be childish and impractical I grew weaker and maladjusted for the world. This started a downward slope of poor decisions. I can’t make that same mistake again. I have an opportunity right now to really become stronger. To really man up. To really get out as much as possible from within. Even though I’m a bit nervous that’s okay. I’m suppose to be a bit nervous. I can’t back out now. I have to do this.